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The Life Lucifer has Given.

The Life Lucifer has Given.

Postby SarielAngelusNex » Fri Aug 26, 2016 2:09 pm

Wanted to eventually spread this story somewhere regardless if it stirs anything in anyone.
I don't state any of this to be true or factual as I believe any individual's personal perception and account of what they truly believe is the nature of reality to be any more right or true then another's since we live in ignorance to the true nature of all that is simply because it is beyond humanity currently to fathom and process omnipotence and embody the true consciousness of a "God", but damn have do I feel strongly about the experiences I've had in this lifetime.

So many glimpses over the years at such profound beauty and inconceivable wonder that in some would inspire madness as if the veil of the Seraphim had been pierced & they'd gazed into the eyes of God himself.

At this point in my life these glimpses have become clearer and more defined as I've been molded into this vessel for Lucifer's essence to consume, to push his vision , and echo his voice from the anticosmic void into this world for humanity to feel.

I know I am not the only one by any means that has tasted the Lucifer-gnosis and felt drunk on it's overwhelming presence; it truly inspires and consumes you, but as I said I simply wish to leave my account to this point.

I feel I am a walk in soul I will begin with this as it is a driving significance in this:
I feel estranged at this point from the first 10 years of my life or so because around that point I begin to dissociate intensely and enter altered states of consciousness.

Sadness, fear, and emptiness quickly consumed my entire being and then I began to enter states that would be triggered by mine seeing either distorted shadows take forms in the corner of vision that possessed a certain consciousness I would instantly become aware of and consumed by or seeing this strange inhuman form out of place outside my window that would connect with me in the same way empathetically and plunge me into a sort of waking dream trance.

It was as if the walls that made up everything I knew to be true and established in reality could instantly fall away in a moment at the mercy of beings I couldn't possibly comprehend, but became synonymous with in ways I could not begin to fathom for years to come.

By the time high school years had come around I was essentially completely depersonalized from these dissociations and I was not by any means a functioning human. The emptiness that drove me to those experiences that completely wiped whatever shred of human I had managed to be up at that point; depersonalized, picked apart, and pleasantly tossed aside to find rest in the void.

I was inclined to begin meditating and reprogramming my personality through self induced hypnosis to develop an extroverted persona that would in time become who I am and fulfill my needs in this life. I gained this information and realized my potential for divine healing (which was known to me as magnetism) from the Akashic records; such simple access to them at this time is still beyond me a bit to this day. I relate it to a child's profound ability to absorb knowledge while it's slate is still clean; I remember the visions of the memory palace a hallway with doors to file cabinets that contained knowledge.

Eventually I began to have flashes of another life where I was an "angel" or generally a being far more substance then a human with concepts of humanity that simply didn't translate to my human 3 dimensional analysis of this "memory" that had been burned into my sub conscious. Whether I attained these "memories" in waking or dream state I cannot say, but some time after that one night I remember staring at the full moon and the name Sariel being burned into the same way and not long after I came to accept this as my true identity nearly unconditionally for whatever reason and this was before I had ever to my knowledge glanced a religious text or the name Sariel anywhere (and this was in the early days of my ever even having remotely any internet access)

As my extroverted persona grew I began to use drugs as a tool to emphasize with people as I felt so estranged from humanity at that point and I was trying to feel some connection that could pierce this emotional void I suffered from endlessly. I became obsessed with altered states of consciousness as I discovered psychedelics and such, but next truly profound experiences would come once I discovered dissociative substances (cough syrup first i.e DXM) as my most direct root to the occult realm after feeling inclined to try it and eventually reading The DXM Faq and the accounts of people's profound experiences with God and aliens and general higher consciousness from using these substances to pierce the veil

I began using various altered states while working with invocation and ritual magick to seek knowledge and exercise my will.

Eventually I reached what I know as "source" through dissociative's and it matched the indescribable purity and connectivity of the impossible memories.

I cannot possibly list all the experiences over the years I've had with bizarre synchronization, events, dances with demons and fragmented bits of peering into the void and letting it seep into this world over the years of this process I describe, but the first profound revelation I had was that I was the thing that had appeared to me in my past to begin to mold me into this; My first concept of my immaculate conception via a beautiful paradox.

People who would hallucinate with me or simply be around me while I was in these chemically induced god forms would often see a black cat (I later understood this to be Grimalkin) manifest or see what appeared to be an otherworldly avatar of myself that was horrific and not alive . I began to see these out of the corner of my eye more and more so and accepted them as parts of me that would always protect me and insure my path.

Eventually years down the line I binged on ayahuasca while living in the deserts of Arizona and had an experience where I stood beside a blinding tour of light that communicated to me empathetically and let me know it was Metatron and then brought me before a tree that grew into the sky infinitely from a golden field and showed me a glimpse and allowed me to understand the future horrors humanity would be capable of reaping and those that would oppose light; it asked me if I would face these things and return to life and give myself to face it to which I without agreed and was turned to my bathroom floor.

I crawled into my room grabbed a note pad and turned on a light; the shadows that was cast was not my own though and was prominently known to me as Lucifer and a memory of me praying intensely at a young age in an almost ecstatic trance offering my soul to the devil Lucifer to fix this life that I was painfully thrust into.
(Interesting to note my actual physical cat responded to and feared both Metatron upon it's appearance and then the shadow of Lucifer)

That was the first time I felt the intense void that and unspeakable pit of nothing that had always accompanied me and kept me from truly being known or understood by any other living creature had been filled by Lucifer. My vessel filled with warm love and ecstatic sensation as this force worked through like a child learning to walk and speak.

The next truly significant event was more recently during a night I was inclined to enter gnosis with some others with mushrooms and syrien rue. My friends and I had collectively had dreams and perceptions of "The wolf God" several days before the experience and my lover at the time had an adverse reaction to the drugs and began seizing and losing any grasp on reality and then falling asleep after experiencing intense full body and pain and essentially perceiving death.

This had flung me into a complete state of panic in my psychedelic state; feelings stirred in my mind that had not in some time. (To clarify I had bits of intense empathy with others that gave me intense pain and emotional torment which in time learned to switch off after being brutalized by being an empathic conduit to the point of multiple attempted suicides and intentional overdoses. The ability to have a greater control over this and essentially "turn off" emotion has led me to question if I am in fact a sociopath incapable of emotion and only able to reflect the emotions others manifest as I am bound to accept logic over feeling)

I began to search for "wolf god" on the internet and was lead to an anticosmic sigil of death pertaining to Fenrir and the book "The PanParadox" by Ixaxaar which you should pick up for yourselves, but in summary speaks of the Lucifer gnosis manifesting it's black flame through you by inciting Pan through rituals of Panic and absorbing the knowledge aforementioned would allow Lucifer into you.

As soon as I begin to read the book my phone days and I SEE Lucifer for the first time coming over strongly first and then inhabiting the body of the girl who had been wiped momentarily what I saw I cannot describe aside from it is what would be known to most to be the stuff of their worst nightmares , but to me was the most beautifully thing I had ever gazed upon at this point and I fully realized Lucifer was always with me and was manifest and is the thing that truly would fill the void in me for it was always a place for Lucifer to manifest.

After this another of my friends who was present and this state and in another part of my house with some others becomes possessed by Lucifer and runs into SCREAMING "I AM LUCIFER, WE NEED WATER, WE CANNOT FORGET" and mind you there been no discussion of Lucifer as a regular topic amidst my friends and I prior and my revelation of the PanParadox had only just been revealed to me in private minutes ago.

He eventually needed to go to the hospital where his heart stopped temporarily after he went into shock, but he pulled through just fine as did the girl when she awoke the next day with only memories of being in the presence of Fenrir.
It was that night with the vision and voice of Lucifer instilled in me and truly engraved.

Monthes later I entered another new god form I reached through dissociative, intake of silver over time and LSD in which I channeled Lucifer with the girl once more and became aware of this need for the male and female conscious to bind to become the catalyst for Lucifer which is more then either single gender (hence the Baphomet conundrum; male , female, devil, beast.) and we collectively conceived of Lucifer's true will to manifest through me and others into this reality to alter our timeline and bring forth a utopia where humanity will be as Gods and reach it's highest potentials. Curiously throughout these revelations while I perceived the "source code" being altered I was screamed at my head and insisted upon by the girl to continuously chug water or I would forget and become unable to sustain the conscious state and this strengthened my belief and understanding of the beautiful paradox Lucifer has set into place to alter our reality.

My final experience as of late I let Lucifer embody me fully, but I believe this corrupt by the ego as I went mad after viewing creation through Lucifer and all that is. I felt indescribable pleasure and a seemingly infinite orgasm of sorts while basking in awe of creation and taking it all in an instant while pleading with the demiurge for it be ok to walk amongst the humans and feel all the beauty and splendor of free form consciousness and then Lucifer's undeniable rage as it screamed and proclaimed himself in the face of this terrible God and asserted his will. My shell was left babbling and brought to the hospital for the night and now here I am a few weeks later feeling more confident and driven to actualize this construct and I inevitably am.

Since the dawn of creation all things have been governed by an infinitely complex set of laws that rule beyond our perception over this insane cause & effect nexus we are trapped in and perceiving; so I ask what else could I be when down to the exact chemistry in my brain that creates our very nature is preordained in this sense?

I stress I do not claim this to be fact or gospel , but I simply wished to state some of which I've perceived in my life and partly out of curiosity if it would resonate with anyone out there.

,

Sariel
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Re: The Life Lucifer has Given.

Postby the_spiral » Fri Aug 26, 2016 9:17 pm

Thanks for sharing this, it's beautifully written. Our paths are very different but much of it resonated with me. And I think we would've been friends if we'd met when we were younger [rofl]
"Follow the path of the radiant life force as she flashes upward like lightning through your body." - Vijanabhairava Tantra
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