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Polyamory and soulmates

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Polyamory and soulmates

Postby llillith » Tue Aug 02, 2016 2:31 pm

I am new in this as you see. So polyamory is the practice of intimate relationships where individuals have more partners.
Since I had spiritual experiences, and have been awakened a bit, I have been feeling enormous amount of love, I want to share with people and want to connect. But it led me to a confusion.
If I thrive to accept others as I do myself, I see sex as a way of becoming one with everything, as I feel energies or souls merging. So it is only natural to want it with and for everybody, right? In theory.

In practice, I am disappointed in how much I judge people for their personality, for their looks etc. To the point I feel disconnected. Why do I still make choices about who do I share myself with? Is making such decisions leading to freedom? Even if I feel others love, I do not feel the need to connect with them, spiritually nor physically. That leaves me with guilt. Although I am not guilty for them being that way.
If you believe in soul mates, is it not such a selfish concept where you connect only with people on the similar level of consciousness?

If you did not experience this, I would still love to hear your thoughts. You can answer the same questions only regarding friendships without sex.
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Re: Polyamory and soulmates

Postby fraterai » Tue Aug 02, 2016 6:04 pm

I was always struggling growing up with this and could connect very deeply with multiple people. The world was always telling me that it would be impossible to have enough (romantic) love for more than one person, but I knew that I was a living contradiction to this theory. Blame society for this one.

I don't believe in soul mates, I believe in souls, and really theres only one soul. I believe in karma though, so this might fulfill the role of "soul mates" at certain times in our lives, if that makes sense.

You are going to judge people, you will always have particular tendencies in aesthetics and attractions (study your natal chart), just give everyone an opportunity who wants to get to know you to do so, you have nothing to lose, and you will always learn more about yourself, interacting with others, and in the best case, could find something in this person that you love. And, obviously, you don't have to tell them to their face. If you think someone is ugly, just think about it, think about why, but always find a way to contradict yourself. Its a good exercise for one, but contradicting yourself is one way to instantly break up that guilt into usable energy. Thinking someone is ugly is really different from telling someone they are ugly, even if you meant to hurt them or not.
Only right reflection and right meditation can free you - Ananda Metteya
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Re: Polyamory and soulmates

Postby Shinichi » Tue Aug 02, 2016 8:54 pm

llillith wrote:Why do I still make choices about who do I share myself with?

Because you have standards. And speaking as someone who has been poly for years now, trust me. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being picky. Quality over quantity is quite fine, and highly encouraged.

As for "soul mates," for the most part those aren't what most people think they are. Twin Flames are extremely rare, because they are literally one spirit that has divided itself so that it can incarnate into more than one body at the same time. They are not two halves of the same whole in a figurative or metaphorical sense, but in a very literal sense. They are the same person in two bodies, and as I said, that's not a common thing.

Fated Loves and other forms of relationships bound by karmic debts are more common, and there is not necessarily one or even one type of these in a lifetime. Most people fall in love with several people throughout their lives, whether it is through serial monogamy, open relationships, or just having feelings for someone and not acting on it. Some people also have intense, but not sexual or romantic relationships with family members, friends, teachers and mentors. Any of these relationships may be Fated, and thus any of those kinds of people may be a "soul mate" in the conventional sense.

But there is a difference between cosmic, spiritual love and intimate, romantic love. It is important to understand the difference if you are going to be poly, otherwise you'll get yourself in too many unnecessarily unpleasant situations.

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Re: Polyamory and soulmates

Postby LoneWolf » Wed Aug 03, 2016 7:56 pm

It is a long way till freedom.

I relate to this. With spiritual advancement comes this rational idea that love and sex should be free and shared with all lovely beings. We are here so let's give pleasure to one another, right?

This idea is only valid and leads to pleasant life after tunning the other parts of your being. Ego, rational mind, subconscious mind. You should acknowledge that you are not pure yet. Your rational mind is still filled with past experiences and ideas that were put there by your surroundings. Your ego still shapes your experience, and your subconscious mind still has trauma and emotional patterns.

It is hard to know why exactly we feel attracted to another being. To ilustrate, this attraction can be created by your rational mind, "This is the ideal of good woman that a good man like me should have." Or your ego: "With this woman all will recognize me, wow, I am the best". Or even your subconscious: "This woman looks like my mother". Or "this woman looks like my ex who hurt me and now I will fuck her harshly". Domination game. Ego. Most of the time, obviously, it is a mixture of all these factors.

Also, sharing your partner hurts mostly because we feel as if our partner(s) are our possession. Dumb idea from such noble ideals that you seem to be nurturing, however our Emotions and our Ego beg to differ. It is also notable the fear of loss.

Most of these factors can be worked upon, the hardest being obviously the unconscious and emotional.

About not judging, I believe you will always, unless in an altered state of consciousness, to some degree or other look for some defined caracteristics in a probable partner.

About feeling the disconnect you must cultivate the feeling of oneness. You can choose many systems from scientific to spiritual to put into your mind the fact that we are all made from the same.

I will close this up making a comment about "hating" caracteristics of other humans that I've come to realize in my experience; you hate about others what you hate about yourself. The hardest part of life is to love things about others that you hate about yourself.

Bestest of luck.

My regards
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