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Falling in love

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Falling in love

Postby inMalkuth » Fri Apr 14, 2017 8:22 pm

You can love all sorts of people for all kinds of reasons but you should only fall in love with someone who will love you back.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby The Cove » Sat Apr 15, 2017 3:32 pm

inMalkuth wrote:You can love all sorts of people for all kinds of reasons but you should only fall in love with someone who will love you back.


Hm... I look at my hand.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Ušušur » Mon Apr 17, 2017 8:38 pm

inMalkuth wrote:You can love all sorts of people for all kinds of reasons but you should only fall in love with someone who will love you back.


It's not really like you can choose who you fall in love with or not.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Shinichi » Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:13 am

"Love like the sun," The Lovers whisper, "unselfishly and unconditionally. Then you need not chase after your Venus, your Gaia, your Mars: for she will happily come into your warm embrace."



~:Shin:~
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Chatelle » Sun Apr 30, 2017 7:26 pm

Love the wrong people. Move on and make mistakes, and move on again and find something great - only to lose it and make more mistakes.This is what life is about. It'll hurt less once you realize that there is nothing wrong with it, it's supposed to be this fucked up.The feeling of "missing out" while you make mistakes, is what makes you repeat mistakes in the chase of something greater.
Alea iacta est
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Re: Falling in love

Postby inMalkuth » Sun Apr 30, 2017 8:32 pm

I agree that people fall out of love, and that making "mistakes" is natural. The real mistake, as I posted, would be to fall in love with someone who cannot or will not fall in love with you. And yes, I think we are able to control who we choose to fall in love with. Isn't the whole point of all of this to refine our Wills?
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Chatelle » Sun Apr 30, 2017 9:00 pm

I have to agree with someone who previously posted that you cannot choose who you fall in love with even if that person does not love you back, but I'm with you in the sense that I believe that you can control your own reaction. As someone who spent more than 10 years fawning over someone, I do believe I have learned how to cope with it better. It doesn't have so much to do with willing yourself to stop: it has to do with accepting your emotions and let go, and end the process much quicker. :) "Love is the law, love under will" doesn't serve you until you can understand that you're not at fault for experiencing these emotions without receiving anything back.
Alea iacta est
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Re: Falling in love

Postby inMalkuth » Sun Apr 30, 2017 10:22 pm

But its love under will... meaning that the Will governs how you love. We are not meant to be the victims of emotion... we are meant to choose what we want, and in so choosing, we decide who to fall in love with. Sure, in youth especially... we choose poorly. Falling in love with someone accidentally happens, but its a form of weakness for a particular way a person looks, acts or possesses. If we fall in love with someone that is flawed in the ability to return love, then we have chosen to fall in love with their inability to do so, and that is a poor choice. Its not about denying love, its about denying that love should be risked on someone who is incapable of loving you, and that is a good thing. I guess some of us love tragedy? Probably because we are in love with our own fragility and weakness. In any case it is not an example of perfect will, or love under it.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Chatelle » Mon May 01, 2017 8:00 am

Yet I'd still say that you're not a victim of emotion if you recognize the impossibility of the situation and choose to let go quicker. And I disagree that what you love is their incapability to love - what about their skill, their way of doing things, their brain capacity? And I will probably be scrutinized for saying this, but... both will and love are not perfect, and that is totally fine. We sometimes need to work against our most natural instinct (unguided will and unguided love) in order to do something greater. But, if I'm thinking from your perspective... say, as an example, you fall in love with a psychopath. The reason why you do it might be that that person has managed to captivate you in some way that has nothing to do with love for you. You get hurt very badly and you barely escape that situation. Now, if you face the same situation again, I very much agree that you deny that love before you fall into the same trap, preferably with some disassociation if you have to. There are no rules without exceptions, and this is one. When I first read what you posted, I was more imagining the more common situation, where you fancy someone who has a nice body and a somwhat okay intellect, but that person only wants you for your body or your mind but not you as a whole. Personally I'd say that while you of course would want to disengage, immersing in the emotion for a little while usually doesn't hurt. It usually hurts more to deny it. It's not about loving tragedy, it's about appreciating your capability to love and it has nothing whatsoever to do with the other person. I might be wrong to do so of course, but I think it's immensely beautiful the way we can blossom at the sight of another being like that.
Alea iacta est
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Re: Falling in love

Postby शक्ति » Sat Jun 24, 2017 1:11 pm

Instead of falling in love , try to stand in love !!
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Re: Falling in love

Postby chowderpope » Sat Jun 24, 2017 1:16 pm

Good fucking advice.
Awake from sleep! Remember you're the son of a Great King, see to whom you're enslaved!
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Cerber » Sat Jun 24, 2017 1:34 pm

My legs get tired if I stand while fucking.
It's a bit more convenient to lie down for me.
It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby inMalkuth » Thu Jun 29, 2017 3:34 pm

Reading where this post wound up, i have to wonder if i have anything in common with most of you
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Cerber » Thu Jun 29, 2017 5:04 pm

inMalkuth wrote:Reading where this post wound up, i have to wonder if i have anything in common with most of you

I'm sure you have, just seems others don't have so much in common with you. A paradox of sort
It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby शक्ति » Thu Jun 29, 2017 5:12 pm

Dear inMalkuth, currently I read Erich Fromm's book "The Art of Loving" . It may give many answers to your inner searches, if you didn't read it yet, than I would suggest to. And I do agree that one can choose whom to love /of course this when we talk about love and not affection, because in case of affection people very often fall in love instead of doing a conscious choice / and I do agree that one-sided love shouldn't take place.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Cerber » Thu Jun 29, 2017 5:23 pm

How do you do that? I'm extremely good at managing, hiding and controling and ignoring all kinds of feelings. But I could never be able to actually love somebody or something just because I've decided I should love it, because it is worthy of my love.
It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Napoli » Thu Jun 29, 2017 5:35 pm

I do know a handful of people who loves their sweetheart even though they are married to someone else. Even as they step into their old age, they still sigh for what could have been or what has been lost. So, you can love without showing any reaction or doing something that will create problems for both parties :) .
In my sword I trust.

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Re: Falling in love

Postby inMalkuth » Thu Jun 29, 2017 5:41 pm

[quote="Cerber"]How do you do that? I'm extremely good at managing, hiding and controling and ignoring all kinds of feelings. But I could never be able to actually love somebody or something just because I've decided I should love it, because it is worthy of my love.[/quote]

This is odd to me, because ive done this a lot. Once i fell in love at first sight and it was a disaster, so nvr again. Also, affection is a natural thing that is genuine emotion, i totally see that my love was a fabrication.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby शक्ति » Thu Jun 29, 2017 5:47 pm

“Infantile love follows the principle: "I love because I am loved."
Mature love follows the principle: "I am loved because I love."
Immature love says: "I love you because I need you."
Mature love says: "I need you because I love you.”

― Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving

In both cases I see the matter of choice, just in the first case it is an infantile/unconscious/dependent/fearful choice, when one falls in love, and in the second case it is a mature/conscious/independent/brave choice, where one stands in love. In the first case we mostly see examples of affection and lust, in the second case we see examples of mature love in various forms /not exactly erotic love / . This is what I mean by saying "we can choose whom to love". The hardest part is that we tend to see more affection /as it is easy trick to do/, and there are very-very few people who reach to the level, from where they are able to create and express mature love.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Cerber » Thu Jun 29, 2017 6:56 pm

I don't understand. Maybe I'm reading it wrong because what I see in those Erich's lines and what you describe is very different. How do you apply that, if it's not just "paper love", how does it work in practice, in real world? Are you currently in that "mature love" state and did it passed the time test? Neither passionate deep unconditional love that I chose to just dive in without expecting anything back just hoping to be loved back just because of what I feel, nor cautious and responsible, sensible love that I eventually chose to express after long time holding back, chose that knowingly of the challenges and risks on that path, but still setting some conditions before taking the very first step. Neither led me to anything good. Maybe it doesn't matter by which love defition you chose to lead your life, if it's a wrong person, it's a wrong person. Maybe my definition requires a special person that could match it, and I could match hers by design and not by relentless effort to try and reprogram each other or our self's to desperately try to fit in the state that we got in intentionally or accidentally. I just don't understand what those definitions mean in practical sense? And why would that guy feel the need to belittle somebody's way of love, and why should I love in his way?
It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Cerber » Thu Jun 29, 2017 7:03 pm

Maybe the real question is, yes I could choose to love in "Erich's mature love" way, and I would get a fancy badge of being mature, but would that make me happy? Was he a happy man?
It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby inMalkuth » Thu Jun 29, 2017 10:05 pm

Im going to avoid other peoples definitions and explain what i know about love.
For many years in my youth i took for granted the love of my family and friends. It never occured to me that i even had feelings of love for them, it was more that they were in my life and i liked them for being there.
It wasnt until i discovered romance that i had to begin to decide who i would love. The design i adopted was to just love everyone and to trust myself to be able to handle any situation. The flaw in loving everyone is that you dont discriminate between honest affection for who a person is. This leads to confusion for an outsider, because no one knows when they are actually loved by me. I never put any demands on it, and i wound up being involved with people who didnt know much about love. Here i was, giving my live to every stranger i met instead of looking for something particular that i could love honestly.
Because i cose to love everyone, i was totally blind to peoples faults. The smart people that xame into my life realized that i didnt actually love them for who they were, and moved on. The others that stuck around were a mixed lot, but i know for certain that one of them saw this as an opportunity to use me.
Now that i am wiser i recognize that loving everyone is a bad decision, mostly, and that you should only commit to people that you have similar interests and morals with. This protects you. People are like vines, we cross over one another and sometimes cross again, and the ones that we are most drawn to, we get entangled with.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Cerber » Thu Jun 29, 2017 10:31 pm

That actually sounds alright. Giving love to everybody is like having sex with everybody, pretty much the same results. I ain't judging people who chose to lead their life that way, but it's not my way and prefer not to be around that kind of self harming behaviour.
It's no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Shawn Blackwolf » Thu Jun 29, 2017 11:59 pm

I destroy myself , for the sake of love...

I walk through a mine field of your words...

I stand in the path of your semi - truck of rage...

I kneel on your electric monorail of intensity...

I welcome your furies beating me with their wings...

Perdurabo !

De Profundis Ad Lucem !

Per Ignem Ad Lucem !

Resurgam !

Yea , though I walk through the halls , and hells of love...

Vestigia Nulla Retrorsum !

................................................................................................


Love Is A Many Splendored And Splintered Thing

A Two By Four Against All The Resistance In The Universe...

Color In The Darkness , A Howl In Dead Silence ,

A Promise Unsecured , Yet Given Freely , With Heart ,

Something That Grows With Intention , And The Tension ,

The Feeling Where There Was None , The Solitude Vanquished

In The Oblivion Of New Hope , The Awesomeness Of What If

And The Fears Of Because , Merged Beyond The Doubt And Ifs

Unto The Merry Go Round Of Here We Go Again , UpDown ,

And Around On The Wheel , I Been Karmafied Before , Yet I

Flip A Finger To The Gods , And Claim My Joy , My Love ,

My Right To Passion , And Pursuance Of My Dream , Mine ,

My Love , Mine ...

For There Is No Other...

Beware My Two By Four...

.............................................................................................


I Shall Kiss You In The Moonlight ,

A Thousand Kisses To Remember Forever ;

Whisper Light And Hungry Like A Ravenous Beast ;

I Shall Kiss You Just To Kiss You ,

And I Shall Kiss You Because ;

I Shall Kiss You Because You Want It ,

I Shall Kiss You Without My Need ;

I Shall Kiss You In The Silence ,

And In Moans That Tear The Night ;

I Shall Kiss You Head To Feet ,

I Shall Kiss You Without Touch ;

I Shall Kiss You When You Ask Me ,

I Shall Kiss You In Surprise ;

I Shall Kiss You While We're Living ,

I Shall Kiss You Till We Die...

..............................................................................................


Excitement :

All That Is In A Moment

Of Vibrational Embodiment ;

That Which Is Encapsulated In An Aroma

Of Sensual Memory , The Storytelling And

The Experience :

And I Am Excited By The Energy And Aura

Of You ;

All You , And You , Sensual Experience , And You ,

Experienced Through The Self Of You , You , As You ,

Beyond Of You , Within You , You As You , As You , You...

And Who You Are , In Our Relationship , Determines ,

That Which Is...As That Which You Are...As That Which

I Am...As That Which We Are , Together...Creates , Unto

Itself , The Flux Within The Unchanging , The Chaos Wheel

Of Infinite Permutation...


And This Is Our Relationship , Beyond Of Body , Beyond


Of Me , Beyond The Beyond , For Who Am I , Without You ?


And You ? The Mask Of You ,The You I Knew A Moment Ago

Is No More , Who Are You ?

...................................................................................................

There Is No Greater Rascal Nor Thief ,
Than One Who Steals The Power Of Belief ,
And The Most Amazing Thing Is This ,
It All Starts , With But A Kiss...

Taken Just From Behind , Or Just Face To Face ,
All That You Have Been , Becomes That Embrace ,
And All You Have Known , Is Yet To Be Seen ,
Words You Have Said , No Longer What You Mean...

So Easy Just Alone , So Hard Now To Feel ,
Waiting For The Contact , The Touch That Can Heal ,
Passion And Fire And Lust Consumes All ,
In The Wasteland Of Love , Even Mighty Shall Fall...

And The Dance Of Romance , Steps On The Path ,
All Joy For Your Smile , All Sorrow For Wrath ,
All That I Was , I Was , Before You Yet Came ,
And Now , Gods Help Me , What Is My Name ?

We Have Walked The Walk , Down The Unknown ,
And Been Yet As Children , And Yet We Have Grown ,
And The Dream And The Nightmare , Despair And The Bliss...

And Remember , My Love...It All Began With A Kiss...

.............................................................................................................


The Things You Have Done , In Your Private Hell ,
The Words That You Speak , The Stories You Tell ,
The Ways That You Weave The Web Of Your Fate ,
Show All Too Clearly , It Is You That You Hate...

My Forgiveness Is Not What You Need ,
You Pierce Your Own Heart , Just So You Bleed ,
You Twist Your Own Knife Under Your Skin ,
You Beg For A Friend , Yet Let No One In...

You Cry Out To Enter , And Then Shut The Door ,
You Want Me To Be A Doormat On Your Dirty Floor ,
To Break All Hearts Is Your Passion Play ,
To Go Where You Will And Do What You May...

To Cut Off All Feeling , Do What You Must ,
For If All Is Betrayal , Then Who Can You Trust ?
Once You Are Hurt , The Fear Is The Pain ,
And Lies Become Real , Just To Stay Sane...

"I Ask You Now , You Talkin' To Me ?
Better Keep On A Walkin' , And Let Me Be ,
I Got A Razor Tongue And Empty Eyes ,
If You Get Hurt Don't Be Surprised..."

You Think You Scare Me , I've Seen Much Worse ,
Some Minds Are A Graveyard , Some Bodies A Hearse ,
Some Eyes Are Pure Darkness , No Soul Do They Keep ,
No Light Do They Shine , Nor Tears Do They Weep...

"I Ask You Again , To Leave Me Alone ,
To Reap What Is Mine , In All I Have Sown ,
To Tear , And Rip , And Cut , And Rend ,
I Cease To Begin , And Begin All To End"

And Yet Once More , I Extend My Hand ,
As Only An Offer , And Yet Never Demand ,
What Others Have Done So You Feel So Betrayed ,
The Cards On The Table , The Cards That Been Played...

I Ask You To Look Deep Within Your Inside ,
In All Those Dark Places You Play Seek And Hide ,
And Just To Own All Things You Have Done ,
Stand And Be Strong , No Need More To Run !

..................................................................................................

Let Us Dance This Rite Of Spring

And What Be This Stirring In Me Loins ?

It Must Be The Raging Whore In Me Moans ;

As The Whisper Of A Thousand Thrusts Of Upshoots
And The Open Invitations Of Blossoming Budlets ,
As The Surge Of Nature , Pounding In The Breast ,
Rising In The Flesh , Awash And Awake ,
An Unstoppable , Unleashed , Undeniable , Underlying
Current , Coarsing And Conjuring , And Conquering
The Sleep Of Life Indrawn ;

As That Which Has Been , Becomes That Which Shall Be
The Languid Made Lascivious , By The Passion And The
Pulchritude Of A Sensual Seductive Surrounding ,
The Call To Arms And Lips And Locked Embrace ,
Echoed And Emulated , And Ecstatic In Essence ,
Empyreal , Yet Embodied , Necessary And Narcotic ,
All Pervasive And Pertinent , Mounting And Manic ,
As The Yearning , Resuscitated , Resurrected , Rebirthed ,
Renewed , Returns As The Ritual Of Mating ;

Risque , Presumptuous , Enchanting , Enthralling , Eloquent
I Shall Be , As The Words Woven Shall Charm The Chaste
Into The Minx , The Frigid Into The Freed ;The Resurgence
Of Rapture , Precaution Thrown To The Winds , As Power
Pent Is Pierced By Poignant Desire ;

Petulant Might Be Thy Lips , Point Blank Shall Be My Tongue
Speaking The Unspoken Since The Wheel Turned , And Your
Form Grew Cold And We Were Parted ;

Do You Hear Me , My Love ?

I Call You Forth , Forthright I Am , Upright In Stature ,
And Fixed In Gaze ;

Come Now...Let Us Dance This Rite Of Spring !

................................................................................................

Just a few words on my feelings of Love , Desire , and that which lies between... [wink]
Last edited by Shawn Blackwolf on Fri Jun 30, 2017 12:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Falling in love

Postby Shawn Blackwolf » Fri Jun 30, 2017 12:11 am

Cerber wrote: I ain't judging people who chose to lead their life that way, but it's not my way and prefer not to be around that kind of self harming behaviour.


Check your statement...you just committed a judgement...pay attention to words , my friend , they are powerful...
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