OccultForum.org

Original post: Luke Saint

[QUOTE=Eretik;335159]"define what is *good* for you & what is*bad* for you.What gives you *pleasure*,what is damaging or disentigrates your spirit."
[/QUOTE]

Good is hanging with friends, having a good time and being happy. Bad is feeling like a worthless druggy and an alcoholic - though I have curtailed both of these activities tremendously. I feel pleasure when I know that somebody cares. There are not many in my life that truly care about me (viz. none). I have always had to look after myself ever since I was 14, though I can't say that's the worst case scenario. Others have it worse than me.

What disintegrates my spirit? Drugs, alcohol, loneliness, being around a lot of people while not actually BEING there. Knowing that I can find happiness and yet for some reason I can't. Does that make sense? Probably not, I will word it better later, I just came home from the bar. But that doesn't make anything I said less true, actually it's more revealing. Feeling like I have to be drinking to fit in, or do what the other crowd is doing (2 separate thoughts, don't link them together), that is what hurts me. I will write more tomorrow, now I must enjoy this artificial bliss that is alcohol............(added "..."). Yeah. Does anyone else get any of this?

Original post: Darkwater

I only speak from my own experience if I speak of the sickness in the pit of my stomach when love is lost,self love.I got a lot of help from self help groups,where everyone recants their own experience,in as much detail as possible,to unburden oneself and the whole shitpile is dissected by the group who have ALL HAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES in life,some worse than others.ahem.

In all cases,without exception,a TREMENDOUS & sometimes overwhelming feeling of identification & association is felt with all lifestories,without fear or prejudice or any judgement whatso-ever.

My initial observation would be that you are seeking & desire the feel good feeling again,that which you once had earlier in life.

In order to fearlessly carry on the Inventory of your life,you must face yourself completely by way of a long dark stare into your inner recesses to find yourself again.

What you are now is the guy you must learn to love again,first you must identify fully with him.

In order to do this you must let go of what you once were,accept all that is in your *past* & understand where *you* are coming from.Once you know what you *were*,have identified fully what you*are*,then concentrate entirely upon what you wish to *become*,keeping your desire & intent as strong as you can.

Xeper,Xepera,ARISE!

*Become* just,regular & perfect.The man you want to be which is within you.

Be the difference,keep working upon your*self*.

There is no help,only self help.Find your higher power within by way of the long introspective stare.

All the best.

Andy

eh,should really finish off with this.ahem.

Grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

(It is old knowledge hi-jacked by religions for a few millenia now)


,

Original post: Luke Saint

thanks, see:

http://occultforums.com/showthread.php?t=27507

Original post: Luke Saint

Fuck this page! It's all bullshit. Don't get me wrong, everything I said is true. But to say that me publicly displaying my personal problems is a "road to healing"... Bullshit, it sounds to me like the OP is quite the attention-whore. Quite a waste.

OK, he is two people. I am:

A) Luke Saint - the cool guy, the guy who wants to care about everyone, who cares about his friends, who cares about the girls he meets on the street...

then there is:

B) J.M.E. - the asshole, who couldn't care less if he died tomorrow. Who thinks that humanity would be better off, for its sake, if it would end tomorrow.

Beneath these two is someone searching for themselves. "a weirdo" and "a d...'ed freak" have been called...

I won't be the same. Searching....

To the OP: .....

PS
And to OP:
LOL!!!!! It's ALL WITHIN!!!

Original post: Draginvry

You have problems of dependency. On the one hand you clearly don't give a ****, and on the other hand you want everyone to like you.

I want you to contemplate something for me, just for consideration. I want you to consider the fact that nobody else gives a **** either. Take the number of people you think actually "care" about you, and reduce that number by ninety percent. That is the actual number of people who actually care about what happens to your life, outside of what is happening in their lives. That is the actual number of people who think about what you are doing even when you are not around them.

But that's OK too. The fact of the matter is that you aren't supposed to make everyone like you, and not everyone is supposed to like you. Just do whatever you want to do. If people like it, good for them. If they judge you for it, tough luck.

The reason you get drunk just to talk is because you are putting on a mask. You are putting on a mask because you are afraid of people judging you. Just go out and do whatever the hell you want to do, without thinking about what everyone else wants you to do, and you would never have multiple personalities in the first place.

Original post: Luke Saint

3 - 3(.9) = ?

Thanks for the support. This thread shall sink into 2005!!!