on distraction

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: hitman777

Upon examining myself I have found that I limit myself in a bunch of weird ways. I have a lot of useless tendencies which make up my behavior patterns. You might call them obsessions. Orgasm comes to mind. Also, the need to be recognized. My temper. This will sound stupid, but at times, my lack of temper. Greed has never been that big with me. But jealousy has. And I guess that that is another type of greed. Also, the fear of going to too great an excess in anything either stifles me, or ends up causing me to go to too great excess in either that thing, or something else entirely. Also, I have too much of a tendency to live in the past. I beat the crap out of myself for lessons learned, instead of evolving. Sometimes I go in the wrong direction with things, and a lot of times, I psyche myself out altogether. I feel that at times this has hampered my magick, and that is why I put this here. I have even managed to at times sabotage the only relationship which has ever been good for me at all, and have caused pain not only to myself, but worse, to the one I love best.
And all of this BS is really messing with my magick.
Not all of the time, but it seems like it interferes with the course of my life.
I post this here because of how it relates to my magickal devoplment, as both a hinderance, and possibly as a blessing.
I hope that this is making sense. I have been drinking a little bit. If this is not on topic feel free to move it. I apologize for rambling. Does anybody else feel that internal BS holds them back from devolpment? I am beginning to finally feel at ease with all of this, but have been in conflict with myself for a few years. Does this make sense to anyone?

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Fr.NovumOrganum

I don't think its off topic at all. Yes, I too feel that negative habits/limiting patterns hold me back from development. But isn't it magick itself that allows us as magickians to recognize them, but more importantly, to articulate them, so we cen work on eliminating them and building our "temple"? Isn't this really a part of our magickal development!

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Nicholas777

[QUOTE=hitman777]Upon examining myself I have found that I limit myself in a bunch of weird ways. I have a lot of useless tendencies which make up my behavior patterns. [/QUOTE]
Mine are laziness and negative thinking.

Nicholas

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Darkfay

Laziness and absolutely no patience.

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Ashnook

Pure lazyness on my part.

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: merlin

[QUOTE=Ashnook]Pure lazyness on my part.[/QUOTE]

lol same here.