Amorte asyrinx!
asyrinx wrote:
This in particular rang a bell. I've just now took the time to do a little internet research on the ethics of love spells and found that the most common point of view on targeted love/lust spells is that they are unethical, manipulative (being the operative word) and frequently backfire [sadface]
This is one of the most dangerous destructive self-suggestion that you can absorb, and it will sabotage your spells. And this is also a lie, because you are manipulating people on daily basis, for example when trying to convince them in conversation to see things your way.
Let me show you an example. Four people spend their lives dedicating their effort to what they did best. Now they want to make the other person love them.
A sportsman can dedicate his victories to the person he is interested in. An artist can sing a song or write a poem to impress her. A businessman can provide wealth and sense of security.
So what a fourth guy, a mage will do? Just stand around and look silly?
After years of dedication to an art of magic or when we have a great talent for it, it is right and just to use magic to ensure ones wealth and well-being. In fact, you are expected to do certain things with the use of magic.
By it's definition a Mage should be a king and a priest, ruling over himself and arcane powers - as such, wealth and honours belong to him, as the shack belongs to the dog.
I was already in a relationship when I met him and I'm still in this relationship for several reason: first of all, my current partner is the father of my only daughter and.. to make a long story short, it's quite clear to us both that we wouldn't be still together if it wasn't for our child - we really have nothing in common except our love for the child and our responsability towards her... then there's my partner's psychological condition - he's had issues with addiction in the past and he's managed to not return there for almost 6 years now only because he's had us (me & our daughter).
Then you have more than 4 people to worry about. It may be that your little kid was the mental blockade for you while casting spell ("what will happen to her") or to this guy if he knows ("she won't leave her daughter") etc.
Things just got more complicated.
He's been childhood friends with my partner, then they went to college in different cities and got in touch again a year ago, when we all moved in the same city. The fact that he's known my partner for so many years and that I'm the mother of his only child could be a serious reason, I'm well aware of it....
And this is very likely the real reason. You will have to speak to him, not in one big conversation, but step by step... explaining your situation in some way which will help your cause.
To be honest, I don't know... I know from experience that in romantic relationships people tend to sometimes open 'Pandora's boxes' that their partners had no idea existed when they were just friends...And it would most probably not be easy since we're not 2 single people with no baggage...
It is a part of Good Magical Practice to make sure we know what we want to achieve with spells. Just "love me!" isn't enough. "Love me" - where and how?
ooh... it's so silly that I don't even want to remember... and it was equally stupid of me to perform it without prior research, just because I had heard from someone that it would work... I didn't even consider the fact that the person who recommended it to me didn't use as subject a friend (like I did) - she just wanted a fling and that's what she got...
I guess that I felt justified (in my mind) to do it when I remembered some strange occurences from the first months after I met this guy: I had quite a few VERY vivid, tiresome dreams about him (yes, some were sex dreams) and a couple of instances when I had something similar to panick out of the blue because I couldn't be near him at that moment... Very weird and unprecedented and disturbing to me because I've never been through something like that before... I used to think that I was a level-minded person until these things happened - I honestly wasn't even slightly interested in the occult prior to this! - I still can't find an explanation for what I felt, I don't know if he did something intentionally to cause that or not - I couldn't just go to him and ask him 'hey, did you do some energy stuff on me?' [confused2] ... people don't do that, at least not in my part of the world...
In any case, my only conclusion now is that it was stupid of me to act on impulse (be it revenge, need, impatience, whatever) and that nothing really justifies being vengeful and manipulative like I tried to be and what I need to focus on right now is ways of trying to reverse the damage and to maybe cleanse myself of negativity so that I don't find myself falling in the same trap yet again.
Sometimes actions under the impulse can have greater results than average rituals. Love and desire are both very highly energetic feelings and they, when directed, can cause change.
In your situation, however, there is something you need to do first, before doing anything else.
Meditate upon your current situation.
Both options are just as bad - either forgetting about your feelings and living your only life with someone you don't really love, or choosing to do something about it.
In later case there are many people involved, and if you choose this path, you should create a complete picture of change that needs to occur and how the end results will look like.
I see that you will need to learn a little bit more about visualisation, meditation and directing energy, but otherwise this situation can be solved in your favour.
An example: your current partner had problem with addiction. You fear, that after breaking up with him he will return to that. But you can use visualisation to make him go exactly the opposite way - so that after he loses you he will decide to *never* ever use that addictive substance again.
I was about to say, that it is not really in necromancers job description to help other people with life, love and happiness, but then I though about casting curses and how it can solve many problems - so I will not say that.
Instead, I would like to recommend you find someone older and wiser with some experience in techniques mentioned above and with experience in solving such life problems. Nahemah looks like someone who can provide valuable insights. As for me, I can aid you with more details about techniques in question.
Regards,
