OccultForum.org

I can't seem to figure out if this is more physical or spiritual (it seems the former), but I am lacking all sorts of motivation and energy. My pills aren't helping, even though I've been taking them for years, I've seen no difference. I must be an idiot to still trust them at this point...

I rested in bed for a few days, summoned enough willpower to do some writing and spells and now I'm writing here.

I know you guys won't have all the answers I just want someone to listen to me. I think I'm losing my mind. I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow. Maybe it will be better to talk to him about all this. But yeah, I imagine that people are out to get me. I know they really aren't right now but whenever I'm intensely scared, alone or high on pot or alcohol or something, I think there are people plotting to kill me (either people I actually know or these sorts of mystery men, like the Men In Black or something).

I'm terribly stressed and I don't feel good and I'm home alone and I don't know what to do...

This is going to sound super cheesy, but I think that it would helped if you cultivated love for yourself and others, and made a connection with a deity who symbolizes love & protection. Green Tara comes to mind. I've also had problems with anxiety, and cultivating a mind of altruistic love helped me more than any other type of spiritual work. If you want to make a connection with Green Tara you shouldn't just think of her as a genie who grants your wishes. You should put in effort to become a more loving person to yourself and the people around you, especially people with whom you have issues. Metta meditation is good for this.

In Buddhism there are certain scriptures that can protect you from spirit harm when you recite them. The metta sutta is an example of that:

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .than.html

When your mind is focused on love, you aren't worried about who's out to hurt you. You just focus on how you can give yourself to other people. There's less fear of loss, less fear in general. In contrast, when you're constantly thinking about yourself in a selfish way you attract energy beings who are also selfish, and that's not the best situation to be in. If you have nothing to do but sit at home feeling paranoid, spent that time cultivating metta instead.

I don't know what your home looks like, but keeping a clean living space also helps the mind calm down. You can imagine that you're cleaning away the bad energy so that good energy can come in. And if pot & alcohol are making you unbalanced, don't use pot and alcohol.

Some articles on the benefits of metta meditation:

http://kripalu.org/blog/thrive/2013/08/ ... ig-change/
http://www.emmaseppala.com/18-science-b ... ion-today/

DarkSchneider wrote:I can't seem to figure out if this is more physical or spiritual (it seems the former), but I am lacking all sorts of motivation and energy. My pills aren't helping, even though I've been taking them for years, I've seen no difference. I must be an idiot to still trust them at this point...

I rested in bed for a few days, summoned enough willpower to do some writing and spells and now I'm writing here.

I know you guys won't have all the answers I just want someone to listen to me. I think I'm losing my mind. I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow. Maybe it will be better to talk to him about all this. But yeah, I imagine that people are out to get me. I know they really aren't right now but whenever I'm intensely scared, alone or high on pot or alcohol or something, I think there are people plotting to kill me (either people I actually know or these sorts of mystery men, like the Men In Black or something).

I'm terribly stressed and I don't feel good and I'm home alone and I don't know what to do...

Which medication are you on exactly? A lot of psychiatric medications cause fatigue as a side effect, this is probably something you should discuss with your doctor. In fact all of this is something you should be discussing with a doctor - do you have regular contact with a mental health professional?

Secondly regarding the paranoia - the single best thing you can do for that is to stop smoking pot. Marijuana use is well known for inducing paranoia, especially in frequent or high-dose usage, and given what you've said it sounds quite likely that it is at least exacerbating, if not outright causing, these symptoms. Stop smoking for a few weeks, and if you're still experiencing paranoia, then you should seek further help for that before it has the chance to devolve into something worse.

Cutting back the alcohol couldn't hurt either, as it damages basically every system in the body and drains it off essential vitamins and nutrients, which will exacerbate the fatigue.

Hi DarkSchneider.

I just wanted to say, firstly, good job asking for help. I have been battling severe mental illness for 13 years. I have been on dozens of meds, therapy, you name it. I think it is great you posted here, but the occult is not the answer. My mom is a witch, and when I was very sick I begged her to help me craft a spell, called my grandmother for the same. My mom told me something very important, if we are to be strong in our craft, we need to be strong in mind and body as well.

I know depression, paranoia, and the likes make it hard to even leave bed sometimes. However, exercise is important. Take a short walk around the block, or down the road. Along the way, stack a few rocks, put a border of sticks around it, flowers, grass, etc. Make this your outside altar. Go there at least once a day, and just slow down as you pass it. If you need to fix it because of wind or something do that. Make it a point to go rain or shine, snow or sun. Just a 10 minute walk can do wonders. This will provide meditation, exercise, and fresh air, and a little occult reminder. It really helps.

As for the pot and alcohol... I battle with addiction as well, so it is a difficult path for me, but that stuff is poison for someone dealing with a mental matter. You will feel much better if you stop it, and your medications will work better. If you are adding chemicals to your brain the meds will work incorrectly.

As for your meds, take them exactly as your doctor suggests, and ASK QUESTIONS. Know the side effects, how they work, everything the doctor can tell you. The more you are engaged the better they will work, power of intent and mind over matter, etc.

I HATE to be alone. It is very difficult for me. However going outside makes the felling of being alone less severe. Talk to squirrel or bird. An insect does well in a pinch too If you live in a city or neighborhood, go for quiet walks, and just people watch. Make stories about them and see if you notice patterns in their daily lives. Make a game of it!

A huge help to me as well, is something called biofeedback therapy. Ask your therapist about it, it worked wonders for me, it is very simple, and occult practices blend well with it.

I wish you well and will light a candle for your health.

The biggest thing, don't give up hope. Even in the worst storm, you can be sure the sun will eventually return.
Peace and blessings to you. Namaste.

Oh yeah, exercise is super important. Can't believe I forgot that. This is the video that showed me how important exercise is for depressed people:

i agree 100% with witchpreist , although anti psychotics are infamous for there sedation .

hope it all goes well