Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Because our origin is suffering, suffering will always be at our core. There is no escaping it. The only justice is to direct it at the energy keeping this charade up. Maybe that's what she wants. This is how galaxies turn dark: the honest, brave ones that turn against the real enemy here:

The one that sustains us

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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The only thing I desire at this point is to hear my creator (s) scream as I cut them in half and feed the universe their life sustaining blood

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Regardless, I am taking more and more of my authority, and I am exercising it.

Those who have tried to hold me down, tried to confuse, destroy, vex me those who have treated me spitefully, those who have wished harm and negativity to me, know that I am rising, and their time is now short.

I may allow them to continue living- though their activities will not be allowed to continue as they once have.

What I feel is, they were worried I was going to destroy them all, without mercy. But, with the addition of Jennifer, I find it more beneficial if they negotiate with me. Rather than wiping them out, it is better to be owed favors- I am told the army I am amassing in the unseen realms is quite powerful. I cannot say it is not welcome.

Dark Asrael (In the caverns) is transitioning to a higher body on the surface of a world- it might not be this world. I summoned her earlier today, but she was undergoing a process of transformation, and I am afraid I will not be able to contact her any longer (Her old self is essentially dying, but it is not the end for her. She is ascending. In essence, I am getting what I want: Her transcending to a higher form of self, via the consumption of my emotional bodies love-saturated flesh.)

New areas of my mind and understanding are opening up. I am transitioning passed seeing what I want to see regarding beings, and am able to better see individual personalities. This has been a huge part of the missing equation in my life and stems from being robbed of my dignity, value, and worth as a child, and by society, government at large.

I know what I have to do: Begin working out again, start training and preparing myself for war. Not for any specific reason, but for my emotional well being, and the fact that things in my country are worse than many people think, at least as far as I understand things. There is a confidence that comes with being a competent warrior. Perhaps after this van is built and my possessions are sold, this will signal the beginning of a new "book", not just a chapter.

As i branch out with my authority, I see myself as large as our solar system, perhaps larger, I see, what could be, a "light body", transparent, coming to self awareness.

My light body reminds me of Dr. Manhattan in Watchmen.

It is my duty to protect this solar system, from what I gather, i have "Authority" over this sector in space. I feel like, any aliens that want business with earth have to pass through my body to do so, and I can grant and deny access.

The portal aliens remain outside of my view.

They should exercise caution around me at this point, I am quite angry with a great deal of offenses, I am on edge, I react with sudden actions, and I fly into a rage over the slightest injustice, especially when dealing with offensive beings who have injured me. It is to the point where if a tall grey or being offends me, I will find their planet, I will find everything they are concerned with, and I will destroy it in front of them before I eject them into space. I haven't done anything like this, but I was very, very close to doing it, until wisdom told me to stop, because there are dynamics at play I am not aware of.

I have fucked enough shit up as it is.

It's not that I have some great love for humanity, some individuals perhaps, and in fact I am just as angry if not moreso with humanity as I am with the greys, but the cries of the human race, and other beings have come to my (our) ears, or the ears of my people, and they have sent me here to regulate. There is a Wolven living in me, and he is quite tired of bullshit. When he finds himself in this body, when he is activated, he cleaves flesh from his enemies, he tears them apart with his muzzle. His fangs are like daggers, collapsing onto his prey over and over, jerking with his powerful neck, tearing, ripping, opening his victims. As Max Cavalera says, "Look inside their minds to choose the way they die". But, the dynamics with the greys is different than these base human concepts.

As I activate more of my authority, more authority is given to me.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yt9iQwq ... Head-Topic


I feel like, I am approaching a point I have needed to be for some time. it's related to my authority, to letting go, and to walking in the truth of the reason why I am here.

There are some "good" aliens coming here, soon. They are human. Think Jean-Luc Picard type people. We resonate together with a oneness. They are allies, from what I can tell.

About the meddling greys, I am torn between wiping them out of existence, and regulating them and requiring favors from them in exchange for not totally stopping their activities.

But it is known: there is to be no more taking of humans against their will, (as far as I know? I just hate slavery, and in one timeline, I spent time on a slave ship with reptilian aliens) if a single human finds themselves not wanting to be where they have been taken, there will be punishment. They won't be dealing with a Wolfen, who is capable of mercy, they will be dealing with a Wolven (notice the V), who are without mercy, compassion, or empathy, are often cruel, vindictive, and give no quarter. This is why, i believe, so many have been trying to cancel me out here on this world.

The Wolven have no chill, and nearly all races who are aware of them take great pains to stay off of their radar. They are like the "reavers" in firefly, and they are not the Wolfen. (though they look similar. A Wolven will pull a victim in half at the hips and eat the organs and entrails without the slightest concern for the will of the still living, screaming prey, a Wolfen will not do this, generally. Asrael once presented me with her problem solving flow chart: Is someone causing you trouble? Cut their head off. Simple. It confused her that we have laws against that, she said it was "Stupid", but she is sort of in between a Wolfen [a savage Wolfen woman, on the more aggressive side of the Wolfen people] and a naturally cruel, merciless Wolven. A Wolven would not have stopped torturing my emotional body, and not have spoken to me unless chained and forced to do so by some means. The werewolves in so many werewolf movies [an American werewolf in X] act like the Wolven. The tall greys know that if they are captured by the Wolven they will likely meet a terrible end. Many of the aliens tell me, they are afraid of the Wolven. Wolfen can be reasoned with, but unless you are in a position of power over a Wolven, or have something they desire that they cannot simply take from you by force, there isn't reasoning with them. They can make the cruelty of the Greys look like a human childs tea party. The Wolven did come to my aid, they are attracted to combat, and they are likely involved with the ancient Viking Berserkers. The Wolven also have space ships, weapons, etc. Not even I would want to meet them in space, and you can see how much I like humanoid wolf people and wolves and canines in general.)

Slowly, things are going to get cleaned up and things will get better.

SO far I have been made INTIMATELY AWARE of the darkness and negative beings. Positive, higher beings sent me here, and have authority here, I would like to start maybe COMMUNING WITH THEM for a change.

I've been mired in darkness for so long I am starting to want to get out of it.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I feel the angry posts above are from the old (dying) me who started this thread, the one who has suffered so much. He has more in common with the Wolven. He comes out when I drink. I am trying to help him make peace with himself, but he is very dark, very hard, and very scared. A human man I knew died recently, and his soul is much the same- it cannot find peace. Because he thinks he is right, and will not listen to anything that might go against his narrative. that has been one of my hardest lessons- admitting I am, and can be, wrong, and not just wrong, but wrong about literally anything. There is security in being convinced of something, even if it is not true, the comfort is very real. It takes strength to allow your beliefs to be challenged. I was once made very, very weak by religion. He is also why I am realizing almost everyone I know is afraid of me. Even my girlfriend changed her locks, once. I am coming to realize even my friends are afraid of me. Some have even told me to my face they are, during moments of vulnerability. I am unsure how to deal with that. I refuse to be harmless.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>i have "Authority" over this sector in space. I feel like, any aliens that want business with earth have to pass through my body to do so, and I can grant and deny access.

Quite so but it is not sole authority. There are hierarchies of which you are not aware

> I fly into a rage over the slightest injustice, especially when dealing with offensive beings who have injured me

They too are subject to oppression.

It is often better to go up a couple of levels of the dark supervisors and shorten the supervisor's appendages and explain you will be back if you see any more of his/her beings/ships in this solar system

Make sure your sponsor is onboard for the operation

> there is to be no more taking of humans against their will, (as far as I know?

It seems that human slavery is no longer legitimate in this solar system and the slave-based activities are being ejected.

Personally I am inclined to expand the scope of that ruling beyond humans to include any species with a higher mental body.

The higher mental is where the human soul body (neschama) exists. That body is the interface for a solar angel that manages the higher connections until the human is sufficiently transparent and aligned

>Wolven ... are likely involved with the ancient Viking Berserkers.

There is energy in that statement

>Because he thinks he is right, and will not listen to anything that might go against his narrative.

Technically that intelligence is not the real human but the Personal Will.

In the Castaneda writings, Don Juan refers to the mind being a "foreign installation". It is actually the intelligence of the Personal Will that is foreign but it is most useful in driving the human to get its act together.

Eventually the human establishes control over its mental activity and the PW moves from defense to creativity - and the human achieves first stage enlightenment

You are doing well.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>>i have "Authority" over this sector in space. I feel like, any aliens that want business with earth have to pass through my body to do so, and I can grant and deny access.

>Quite so but it is not sole authority. There are hierarchies of which you are not aware



This is good. The first day I discovered these powers, I was prompted to do things I wasn't sure if I should- stretching my powers, warnings, it felt kind of good, however, afterwards, I wondered if I had made a series of colossal mistakes. That there are regulators is a very, very good thing.



>> I fly into a rage over the slightest injustice, especially when dealing with offensive beings who have injured me

>They too are subject to oppression.



This is highly interesting. I never considered having empathy on my oppressors, but now that you have said this, I was given empathy for them.




>It is often better to go up a couple of levels of the dark supervisors and shorten the supervisor's appendages and explain you will be back if you see any more of his/her beings/ships in this solar system


This is good advice, and I can see a being like the one with the tentacles in "Stranger things"- it looks almost exactly like it, with tentacles in various realms. I can cut it's limbs off, or with more energy, I can force them to be shorter without damaging the oppressor.



>Make sure your sponsor is onboard for the operation



My sponsor seems to be upset with me



>> there is to be no more taking of humans against their will, (as far as I know?

>It seems that human slavery is no longer legitimate in this solar system and the slave-based activities are being ejected.



Good news for the human race


>Personally I am inclined to expand the scope of that ruling beyond humans to include any species with a higher mental body.


A noble and necessary enterprise



>The higher mental is where the human soul body (neschama) exists. That body is the interface for a solar angel that manages the higher connections until the human is sufficiently transparent and aligned



That makes a lot of sense, a lot to ponder and reach out to understand


>>Wolven ... are likely involved with the ancient Viking Berserkers.

>There is energy in that statement



Not even I want to be "alone" with the Wolven



>>Because he thinks he is right, and will not listen to anything that might go against his narrative.

>Technically that intelligence is not the real human but the Personal Will.

>In the Castaneda writings, Don Juan refers to the mind being a "foreign installation". It is actually the intelligence of the Personal Will that is foreign but it is most useful in driving the human to get its act together.

>Eventually the human establishes control over its mental activity and the PW moves from defense to creativity - and the human achieves first stage enlightenment


I am starting to see what you are saying, here. Dark Asrael's Personal Will is hanging out with me, and taking comfort in varying activities I share with her.



>You are doing well.


Thank you. Yesterday I was taken through some exercises to distance myself from the ethereal. I want to enjoy my time here on this planet as a human, too.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>My sponsor seems to be upset with me

Does your repeated turmoil cast your sponsor in a poor light?

> I want to enjoy my time here on this planet as a huma

I learned long ago that emotional pain is of no consequence in the context of life purpose.

Joy is of the soul and heart. Keep your attention in your heart and you will find human life much better

If there is pain in the heart, you will need to pay attention.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>>My sponsor seems to be upset with me

>Does your repeated turmoil cast your sponsor in a poor light?



Very much most likely. Is my sponsor an old male Wolfen? Part of my anger is that he has acted without compassion for my struggles. If he put himself in my shoes he would likely be very proud of me. But it feels like he's the drill Sargeant father figure that has little room for empathy or compassion. He remains "out of my view"



>> I want to enjoy my time here on this planet as a huma

>I learned long ago that emotional pain is of no consequence in the context of life purpose.

>Joy is of the soul and heart. Keep your attention in your heart and you will find human life much better

>If there is pain in the heart, you will need to pay attention.



What if, perhaps, my spirit spouse ate my emotional bodies heart... I have trouble connecting to it at all as if it doesn't even exist. Maybe this is why I struggle with the flame of the heart exercise. Because my heart is gone and has absorbed into dark Asrael.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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> ate my emotional bodies heart.

The emotions exist two planes below the heart.

Damage to the emotions is repaired by increasing the flow of heart-light

> Maybe this is why I struggle with the flame of the heart exercise.

There is a dark entity sitting on your heart. It greatly objects to your becoming fully functional at heart level

How will you deal with that entity?

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>> ate my emotional bodies heart.

>The emotions exist two planes below the heart.

>Damage to the emotions is repaired by increasing the flow of heart-light



I will try to do this. Again, I feel as if I am facing an inability to concentrate, and inability to focus, an inability to visualize. I took some antihistamines, and they made me drowsy, so I went to bed very early, but I woke up with such a sense of terrible condemnation, as if I was being tried on a court of perfection, of unattainable purity, righteousness, purpose, and achievement, like I have let the entire human race down and I should suicide.

My girlfriend tells me of a great period of rest, where she was able to sleep essentially 2 months in a row, but woke up one day with an almost imminent sense of suicide and had to seek immediate mental health help.

I can see how, if I woke up in one of these modes, that I could be caught unaware, and could do self harm, feeling like there is no way, out, that my mission has been scrubbed, that there is no repairing the damage done.

It is a terrible feeling of total isolation and condemnation.



>> Maybe this is why I struggle with the flame of the heart exercise.

>There is a dark entity sitting on your heart. It greatly objects to your becoming fully functional at heart level

>How will you deal with that entity?



Again, I struggle with visualization. I was prompted to run a vertical stream of flight through the entitiy, to reconnect a stream of light it interrupted, but I was foiled with confusion and a feeling of "it not working".



Further: if my sponsor is so irritated over how it is perceived, why choose me? Has it made a mistake? Can I have another sponsor who actually has some empathy for me? I am tired of this shit.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I have done some deep soul searching.

I have amounts of stored up trauma so deep and terrible from essentially my entire lifetime AS WELL AS the attack on my soul 20+ years ago Asrael was a part of, and just because she is transcending, does not mean the trauma is suddenly dealt with and gone.

I fear what I may have to endure, as the horror of my daily life the last two decades has been something not even a human could endure.

The feeling i get when I explore this deep judgment that pushes me to only one conclusion: suicide, is that it is undealt-with trauma that is preventing me from maturation and fulfillment.

In short, I have been on survival mode for so long, when the human me wants to live a normal life, he is overwhelmed with these insurmountable traumas and horrors.

A perception shift:

I have been living in confusion and fear for a very long time. I am working on a van to live-in that is essentially a long term survival vehicle, I have even decided to make it a ballistically shielded HEPA filtered survival chamber in the event of something like being exposed to the fallout of a thermonuclear attack. It will be fully self contained with a decontamination room in the cab. (It will also help retail value, later. My girlfriend says she believes I am to sell it when I am done living in it. I have to accept that this is a possibility.)

Before I woke up trapped in condemnation by the court of humanity, the van was something I did not have the energy for, it was a burden, but it was necessary to "escape" this living dynamic I am in, which even in and of itself, my perception is changing, from one of victimization, to one of appreciation.

Surveying this van-build, it went from being something I do not possess the spiritual energy for, to the only hope I have in life.

I can easily see how, if this spirit of finality is allowed to soak into me, how I could wake up one day, completely trapped, encased within a hopeless bubble, unable and unwilling to seek help to get out, and self harm commence.

I also feel like my new "astral self" is where I should be focusing. My traumatized human and alien psyches are apparently still very scarred- and I believe this, as the trauma I have endured at the hands of the aliens has been designed to destroy me, and I have carried its weight for decades.

I also began to have a renewed anger against the aliens. I can feel my benevolence against them beginning to fade, as I confront the reality of the horror they put me through for so long.

And, where were my sponsors during this? Who allowed it? Who okayed it? Amor, my sponsor may be angry over my struggles, but I also believe he is horrified at what I have endured, and feels guilty and helpless about it. Are these astral watchers just as weak and pathetic and sensitive to useless social norms as we are? They are supposed to be better than us. Otherwise, what's the point?

I AM THE ONE WHO HAS SUFFERED HERE.

If they want to judge me over the fact I was doing my literal best in a situation I had no guidance, no way out, no precedence for, outside of an ancient tampered with manuscript that said I was to "Spend an eternity in hell because god loves me", I had ZERO help it feels like, until I was given the vision of Ms. Asrael, the Wolfen woman.

Part of the fear is, I have come so damn far, I have endured so much, I have fought so hard, only to be taken out because my "sponsor" is frustrated that I have had to endure twelve lifetimes of unmitigated frustration, AND THEY ARE SOMEHOW UPSET ABOUT THAT.

I feel like, during the attack, my sponsor (Guardian angel?) felt like they made a mistake in choosing me. i was overwhelmed past what they could aid me in, and now they are regretting it.

So, i want a better sponsor. Is there a better one? Is there one who will actually GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ME. Otherwise, are they just doing this for fame? I NEED someone who actually cares for me.

You said to ask for my best mother, well where is she? Since this blanket of confusion has fallen on me, I am unable to do almost any of the things I was able to do, before. Is there no sponsor who cares?

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>I was foiled with confusion and a feeling of "it not working".

So you are detecting interference - but not rising above it

> i was overwhelmed past what they could aid me in, and now they are regretting it.

More interference. You have made a lot of progress. But still you have yet to control your emotions and your thoughts. Until you control those you are unreliable.

Why do you let these lesser beings muck you around?

Claim your authority and stand above the interference.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I am worried about Jennifer. These greys are heartless and cunning. If they damage her, even emotionally, stress her out or worse, I will want them wiped from existence, them, everything they care about, and everything that cares about them. I can see how they can use her as leverage to gain my favor.

There is a large (muscular, powerful.) female Wolfen woman. She is space fairing. She likes me (Has a crush on me). She came to view when I was requesting a different sponsor.

Her attraction to me is somewhat romantic in nature- which is something I do not protest against.

I am feeling so god damned overwhelmed with all of this, I kind of just want to go to her, and find a new life with her and her people, even if it sucks, because almost anything is better than this. Especially if my higher ups won't allow me to extract satisfaction from the aliens they have stood by and watched torture me.

It could be, they view me as a lost cause, as you keep saying, Amor, they have "Other contingencies" for protecting Earth, if they think so little of me and my attempt to survive their dispassionate and cold gaze, LET THEM. I would like to see what their "Backup" person judges if they wish to serve them, based on how they have allowed me to suffer helplessly here for so long. If I am worth nothing to them, why would another wish to take my place?

There is a part of me that needs to hack and slash my way through some aliens who need to kick their air addictions before I will feel better. That is at least the way I feel at this point.

If these higher ups would discard me as garbage, I would not serve such feckless beings anyway, nor would I want to lend my energy to their cause, nor would I give them any more value than they have given me: Which feels like an infinitesimal amount.

I am, once again, sick of this space drama.

Why would anyone want to be a part of this? I demand satisfaction.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Sat Aug 27, 2022 5:59 am >I was foiled with confusion and a feeling of "it not working".

So you are detecting interference - but not rising above it

> i was overwhelmed past what they could aid me in, and now they are regretting it.

More interference. You have made a lot of progress. But still you have yet to control your emotions and your thoughts. Until you control those you are unreliable.

Why do you let these lesser beings muck you around?

Claim your authority and stand above the interference.
You are asking me to go from 0 to 100. I could feel my emotional body, twisted up, suffocating and suffering, as I have for 20 years plus, just a few days ago.

I once risked my life to fight terrorism to keep humans safe, and I have hunted the most dangerous prey, the Wolven in me wants to taste the blood of my enemies. Is this emotional? Hell yes it is. The universe can shit on me and I have no right of retribution?

How do I control my emotions, when I will not be satisfied until I am hacking greys to pieces as they scream (They don't scream loud, but they do scream.)

You want me to just, get over this??? Stow my feelings? Push them down until they turn into cancer? Rising above is one thing, but pushing them down is another.

I fucking need to hack my enemies to death until I feel better about this. Is this wrong?

How can you force an emotional being to suffer like I have, and then just, magically hope they become UNEMOTIONAL?

That doesn't work. I am rising as high as I am able to.

I need a vacation in the arms of a Wolfen. How am I supposed to heal, otherwise? You said yourself, I need to heal. Do I heal, or do I pack it down and try to rise? "Pushing your emotions down and pressing on" is an old dynamic that science is discovering, kills humans. It leaves things UNDEALT WITH.

I need to make an example.

I need to make one of these beings suffer so terribly, that nothing will want to pass within seven galaxies of this universe. I need it to self sustain and suffer in space without mercy.

Perhaps I will feel better, then.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I almost forgot, the Wolven (With a v) are like the Klingons. But angrier.

The question is why. Why would I want to claim my authority and transcend, if it means I become a mindless slave for these higher ups, who seemingly don't care for me at all. They want to use me as a weapon, a weapon THAT DOES NOT THINK OR FEEL.

Does that sound like a good idea to you, Amor?

About Jennifer: I reached out to her just now, and probed within her heart, she does not care for me like I would wish. Possibly not really "At all". So, I showed her the light from my heart, and I told her in this light, it is okay if she does not love me, or care about me, but that I have emotions for her, and that she should love herself.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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I am not sure if I mentioned I had seen a timeline on which the Nazis are successful. I only saw the interaction of that timeline with a third line

The following account may well be of that Nazi timeline -

https://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/cien ... avel19.htm

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Sat Aug 27, 2022 9:19 am I am not sure if I mentioned I had seen a timeline on which the Nazis are successful. I only saw the interaction of that timeline with a third line

The following account may well be of that Nazi timeline -

https://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/cien ... avel19.htm
Previous to the attack, i was able to read entire novels, now, i can only read a few paragraphs.

In examining the motivations, weaknesses, and insecurities of the greys who seem to be responsible for, I discovered the tall greys have "parents" living in a sort of a triune world that has a form of magnetic light ring fellowship. On the planets, I saw cities of glimmering light. I probed for weaknesses, and found a sacred world that sustains them. Using my will, I thrust a sort of antimatter rod through it's core, destroying it.

I felt the woe and lamentation on the planets as I observed them weep over their lost technology, technology I knew they could never reproduce, as it was mined from elements within the universe that would never exist again.

They asked me why I would do such a thing, I told them: "The sins of your children are now visited upon you. You should have raised them better. Now, the beings they have tortured are visiting death upon you all." I was not the least bit disturbed by it, as I weigh my own pain, and the pain these greys have caused various living entities. I have allowed the tall greys who are responsible for my abduction to remain somewhat alive- but they are now "dead inside", that their home worlds have been destroyed.

During my operation there, a woman, (Appearing human, in an administrative role) I believe a supervisor of some kind, asked me, "You would do that? Destroy worlds?" I turned to her, and I said, with all intent: "You wouldn't?" She turned and left: I felt from her, she had no retort to my statement. There was an intonation of war breaking out because of my actions, and I told her, knowing i have authority (If I do not, I push out until i do.) over the worlds who would seek revenge, that "This is what happens when you meddle in affairs that concern me. One world or ten thousand, it makes no difference to me. I will stop when the message is clear. You will no longer have access to this sector if you desire your life."

Or something to that effect.

I was having a day particularly laden with woes related to the attack by these entities, and I found some of their ships (They are square-ish and not aerodynamic), and I destroyed them on a whim.

I asked my supervisors how i am able to do these things, and they showed me, I control a form of anti-electricity that exists in the blackness. (Among other things. This is just the first of my abilities, according to them.)

Part of my "training", is accepting horrors that destroy my conscience and soul. Not sure what the point is of it, but it does not seem to be a "Bad" thing, and is enlightening me to higher plains.

Perhaps to generate the anger required to break free of the remaining chains that bind me?

Sort of akin to "Torture porn" (I could describe some of the things here, but just imagine a pure and guiltless being tortured beyond hope, its body destroyed enough to never feel pleasure of any form again, and death from despair, imminent. You could also say, my emotional body is suffering similarly.) of various entities, before I raged against the perpetrators, now I just accept it, and push passed the shock of it, destroying my empathy, or, at least, giving me a chance to analyze the situation and not respond emotionally. Often, I see that the very things I fear are the things that will set me free.



There is a lot that I am not privy to. I am not sure if I am being manipulated by negative beings, and I am not sure if I am playing right into the hands of those who are responsible for my "bad time" on earth.

My desire for revenge is very strong, and now I am seeing, it can be manipulated for use by negative, adverse entities.

Where the flying fuck are the positive entities? Do they even exist? Or is this just a big black orgy of dark entities, slithering over one another?

This whole thing has taken an insane twist.

Within my being, I have surmised, that I should be cautious even to use these will-driven abilities with even my own innermost understanding, as it could be corrupt.

My desire for revenge is too strong. It is clouding my motivation.

In spite of it, my sense of justice is retained.

I have decided not to use these abilities, unless clear instruction and understanding is imparted to me, otherwise, I may find myself "working for the enemy".

I feel like, the dark ones that hide behind me, responsible for so much of my misery, know I would dream up the most vicious vengeful fate for them, and they are terrified.

Oh! Yesterday, I successfully cancelled out nine curses i have 'accepted' onto myself, various agreements made when I was under duress or ignorance, and a sponsor (As far as I know my sponsor no longer wants anything to do with me, I cannot see them, I feel that they have stopped helping me decades ago. "Something" and "someone" are helping me, though.) or being told me, a 'dark version" of myself, also cancelled two more dark assignments that various entities were "Using me" for.

Various tormentuous and dark dynamics come to torment me, and if I am unable to overcome them, i just accept them, and allow them to run their programs, knowing, that there is a part of me, that knows I have authority from outside of this universe, and that I will survive them. There are some entities that are shocked by this.

It could also be, that my desire for freedom from these afflictions could also be a form of limitation, and that the pain and fear I feel are now "Part of" my empowered being.



I wish I had the energy to read those documents, the equations for the multiverse. I read some of the discourse by "Dr.Phate" about the pro Nazi timeline. It sounds like an absolutely droll realm. However, the "Immersion in day to day tasks" caused by the anxiety of their society does, actually, sound like what's happening in the world today, and in America: We simply do not know what is going to happen next.

Personally, I find it hard to believe that a man as wealthy as our "former" president would find it necessary to risk death and jailtime over treason charges, to "Sell spies" out to Russia, et al. It seems to me as if this is no different than an opponent in a dictatorship being "Found with cocaine in his trunk" when he had never done the drug before.

I never thought this would be happening in my country, but, here we are. History does not paint a favorable light for the coming years for the citizens of America, or the world. Not if you want to avoid being massacred by roving gangs and on the verge of starvation constantly, as historically happens when society topples. It could be a way to a grand new start, or it could pave the way to even worse things, down the line.

As you have said, Amor, things "Look good" for Earth humans, but 500 years from now... It seems like a collapse could come, and things could be very bad for most people, for a long time... Hundreds of years of totalitarian control by the weakest humans, could cause 500 years of slavery, and misery.



As far as hope for me goes, i am trying to remain in good cheer. The knowledge of the weight that my previous dog carried for me, signals there is a realm of good, of love, that has sent these beings to me to help me. I felt like, "God had abandoned me" but this does not appear to be the case- however, the reality of the "god" dynamic is so complicated and riddled with rules, it might not even be a factor at all (or so it seems.)



I pondered the world ending vicious cruelty I am capable of, and willing to do, and I wondered, did this other universe send a psycho to this realm? But, perhaps, and some female entities told me, Earth has needed such a presence to defend it, because I won't just destroy the offenders, I will find their children, and their children's children, and their children's children's children, until all that they are is no more: including as many planets as I can seek out and find. Perhaps the triune planetary fellowship I drove a spear through will be the last one, outside of a fiery hot hateful vengeance for retribution over what has been done to me, I do not wish to cause unnecessary or undo harm.

It appears as if I am quite emotional presently, and am in the process of tempering it- but to what end? I do not know.

In spite of it all, and I know Ms. Asrael is "Not my friend", I still care for her, she is off, in higher realms, galivanting and doing "Wolfy girl things", and I am glad for her.

We have communicated tentatively, she does not want me to "ruin" her fun in higher realms, and I told her, her happiness is important to me. In a way, we have said goodbye to one another. Strangely, it is neither good nor bad, not even bittersweet. I am just... Happy for her. In all the outcomes, as her energy fades from my consciousness, I am glad for this one.

The pain from my emotional body seems to be fading, as the anxiety does as well, as she finds new life in higher realms.

I don't want to "Volunteer" for any extra space bullshit, as Corey Goode said, "You don't want to be part of the space program". There are some entities that are telling me, my destiny is to be in outer space as part of this program, patrolling and etc.

I am not sure what to think about that, as I don't handle boredom well, and the idea of being inside a space ship bored out of my mind does not sound like something I want to do.

I am told Jennifer will be okay. If not, they will answer to me.

I am also told, whomever sent me, is able to send another "me", and as potentially terrible as I am, this one will know what I did not, and could potentially be much, much, much worse for the adverse entities, who I might add, better stop fucking with me if they want a god damned ounce of mercy from me.

As I discover these "Lesser beings" who have caused me so much trouble, they are so very quick to negotiate with me to avoid their destruction, and the destruction of dynamics they are entangled with.

Perhaps at some point I will run completely out of mercy, as my empathy is drained.

Now is the time to negotiate, I feel.


There also seems to be an almost "angelic" Wolfen Goddess of light, who is in the higher realms. She, I believe, is my "highest mother", and is why I am so affectionate and filled with adoration for her people. She remains out of view, because, she says, "If I would reveal myself to you fully, you would no longer desire to live anywhere else but with me, and your missions would go unfulfilled." My human girlfriend, possibly my past and present dogs, are likely sent from this Wolfen Goddess. I do not need to say, she is the source of all beauty, love and light. Strangely, she is also a warrior, and I picture some of her forms aboard great defensive warships.

I have to be careful not to summon her to my heart too much, or she is right, all desire to live here on Earth will leave me forever. As one of her children, I hope to be united with her in paradise once again. Praise be to her for the blessings she has bestowed upon me.

I also can feel this octopus pushing its tendrils into my brain, and I am able to push them back out, now. Thank you- Amor.

I have decided not to destroy the octopus, yet, as a feeling i have is, I shouldn't, yet.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>I also can feel this octopus pushing its tendrils into my brain, and I am able to push them back out, now.

You are doing better than most in octopus situations

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor wrote: Sun Aug 28, 2022 8:02 pm >I also can feel this octopus pushing its tendrils into my brain, and I am able to push them back out, now.

You are doing better than most in octopus situations
Thank you.

I am taking more of my authority. So much of what you said is correct. I judge, only to find my judgments to be wrong.

Today, while making space with my girlfriend, and her positive energy feeding mine, (And mine hers, she says, it is an "honor" to be on this journey with me.) I caught her up on my experiences, and a shift began to happen. A shift away from the obsessive dynamic with the Wolfen, and a great deal of the old belief systems, falling away.

I regret the planet thing, and hope it was a simulation (I am told it was not)

Today felt like a turning point.

It felt like things cleared up, a lot.

Even though my infatuation with the "Darker, lower Wolfen" (no judgment. Just a description) seems to have broken off for now, I am still in love with my Highest Mother. She is, perhaps to fulfill a role in my life as my Deity. As I have no definable gods who want the job.

My sponsor and I are fighting- is this normal? Am i misreading their intents? As weird as it sounds, I do not want bad blood with these beings "Out there", I am aware of how much they hated me, but I am asked, with joy in my spirit, to have mercy on them, and I have always loved a story where the bad guy has a change of heart. Perhaps, and I am referring to earlier visions, some of these beings on the opposition, have, "Stepped into the light."

Ms. Asrael never stepped into the light. I should be sad about that, but I am actually not. Her ascension (I should leave her be.) though bittersweet, was actually the best thing for her: And I wanted the best for her. I believe, she may begin working out her Karma. Could she be granted a soul, now? It is beyond my perception, Soft Asrael has her, now.

I am trying to get back to my roots... The roots of the life that sent me here. Sometimes... Nothing makes sense... I feel so alone... There are none like me here. I realize, I am a stranger, in a vast universe. Perhaps my home universe wasn't so big.

Perhaps it was much, much bigger.

The fellowship i feel with my girlfriend faded a little today, too. Perhaps I must move on for a time. Collect myself. Hone my solitude.

Perhaps I will find a "wife".



Today, I ate a good meal, I spent time with a wonderful, strong woman. I felt joy, watching my dog run, we swam together. We went to a lake... A human made me quite angry, my batteries were already drained from the many words I had to process. The old confusion began to set in: I must disappear into the forest, forever, and never come back out. I am not meant to be among these creatures. I cannot live with them.

However, in spite of it, for the first time in my life, I don't want to say, "I've never been happier". I want to say, "For the first time I am happy."

Yes, I am built for collapse and civil war, but what if those things never actually happen. When everyone was hoarding toilet paper a few years ago, both my fiancee and my girlfriend marveled that, while people were buying toilet paper, I installed a bidet and bought salt lick and corn to begin attracting deer, in case if there were any food shortages. I have felt the comradery of pure survival, and I weigh my talents: I am a renaissance man, good at many things, invaluable during times of hardship, I can modify a weapon, repair a vehicle, work a radio, fly a drone, fix the water system, and rewire the base if need be. I can hunt, i can engage the enemy if need be.

I hope it is not needed. I hope the rumors I hear about my government are not true. I have to believe I am here for a reason, and that reason is sound. Perhaps timelines can be altered, maybe that is the entire point, or it gets too boring.

"Do not be afraid"

I forgot to add, or to remind myself, a very small voice told me, (I almost missed it...) a few days ago, "Do not worry about the political stuff..."

It's just hard not to.

I want to relate a story that happened, 2 or 3 days ago. I was voicing my concerns over the future of this country, the, "Might happen" and such to my girlfriend, and she (while driving, and stopped at a light) suddenly looked across me, then burst out laughing, (I was very serious and it made me upset at first, but any more i try better to control the immediacy of my emotional changes, I try to keep a better handle on it, so I listened to what she had to say, and as usual, it turns out she was right...)

Next to us, as I am spilling my guts on what a civil war may look like, she pointed to a bumper sticker next to us (Talk about synchronizities) that said, "Have you tried unplugging the country then plugging it back in?" which was, obviously timed perfectly so that she would see it.

We are taking it day-by-day. And we will continue to enjoy ourselves until such times dictate a change in lifestyle to accommodate measures of survival.

Oh, she also says it is not my destiny to make automated [Intelligent] terminator drones for our military, nor am I to engage in defense related activities, rather, I am to pursue peaceful (Albeit a lot less lucrative) means of making a living, (But maybe I can help, I mean come on, but I can hear her complaining about it, or maybe not. She is a practical girl.) and this sounds a bit more appealing now that I am trying to calm down, and live a normal human life, as a regular human, doing regular human things, and perhaps not creating interdimensional drama. One can hope, right?


I see what you mean about not making decisions for earth humans. I did not understand what you meant at first.

Also about not being judgmental, more of the adverse entities are working with me. There are some I am having to make peace with. There are some law enforcement dynamics i am working with, as i do not want to be a nuisance to the galaxy.

I am seeing these... High dynamics within the human race, and I want to root for them. The dark elementals are losing power.

I was shown a new OS, but one higher evolved.

I was shown a possible timeline where the dark elementals sleep for a time, and perhaps come back to power for a short time, before the human race evolves again, kind of mirroring what it says in revelation. Not sure if propaganda, just reporting

Do you think I should allow myself to be governed, or retain full power?

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>Do you think I should allow myself to be governed, or retain full power?

What is the point of our delegating authority to you if you give it away?


The government is not your target. They are several layers below the real action.

Work with the interface to the planet - where beneficial and adverse entities seek entry.


As for your girl friend, try pushing her light body out of the planet, solar system, galaxy, universe. How far can you push her? What did you learn from that?

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>>Do you think I should allow myself to be governed, or retain full power?

>What is the point of our delegating authority to you if you give it away?


Roger that. Entities posing as law enforcement want my cooperation- they seem to be afraid of me.


>The government is not your target. They are several layers below the real action.


Layers below, like, the word escapes me- principalities? Do you think the Bible speaks of this, in a way?


>Work with the interface to the planet - where beneficial and adverse entities seek entry.


How do I find this interface- what comes up is a multicolored tight ring like a line of magnetic flux, off axis with the n and s poles...


>>As for your girl friend, try pushing her light body out of the planet, solar system, galaxy, universe. How far can you push her? What did you learn from that?


There is no limit to where I can push her. But if I zoom out far enough, I can see her full light body. I think, she originates from within another solar system, but her authority travels outside, but in "Light realms". She is sufficiently tied into human realms, same as I was. But, she is interested in some of this spiritual stuff- but it is a lot for her. I wanted to guide her through the Flame exercise, but I am not sure if the time is right, to bring it up.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>Layers below,

Billionaire groups, Nazis, Draconians, Galactic Federation of Worlds, Galactic Logos, etc

>How do I find this interface

Project your lightbody to the edge of the planet's atmosphere and have a look

>There is no limit to where I can push her.

Quite so. Pay attention to what she teaches you

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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>>Layers below,

>Billionaire groups, Nazis, Draconians, Galactic Federation of Worlds, Galactic Logos, etc



That would explain what I have been told as a child, my lineage. Perhaps i needed genetic roots in these dynamics. I can only tell you what woes this has caused me! And why my all consuming fires of visceral revenge rage within me, almost uncontrollable! I will tell you, Amor, I horribly regret destroying the sustaining planet of the greys who abducted me, I must now live with it, but even as I rise above the guilt of it, and reclaim my authority, I AM PUSHED TO DO MORE, AND WORSE, almost to the point of roaming this universe like a roaring lion, seeking whom I may devour without mercy, not only them, but all they know and all who know them, it IS ALMOST IRRESISTABLE!

Apparently, my constitution as a being from my Universe, is one of great and terrible wrath, the likes of which even the Wolven fear! Fuck me, it has protected me, and what I care about, but it has been such an undisciplined force in this universe, I found myself hardly able to hold it back, even yesterday, as I was stricken with grief over what I may have done to those alien beings! But as you say, I must claim my authority, and if I fuck up, it does not mean I will relinquish an iota of my power or authority- and those who thought they were safe, had better reconsider, because I WILL come for them, too! NOTHING will stop me! Do not make me show them! They must leave me alone now!

In fact, in some ways, I do not know how they will escape my retribution, Amor! Why was I given so much authority? Whomever has summoned me here, wants a drastic change in this universe, specifically this solar system! DRASTIC!



>>How do I find this interface

>Project your lightbody to the edge of the planet's atmosphere and have a look



I a having so much difficulty with this. My unschooled mind in the esoteric arts, struggles to know "where" to push myself, how and what to visualize as my "Light body", my "Light body" is bigger than this planet, how do I project it to something smaller than the planet?

I was able to discover a light stream, that looks similar to the Source of All, with beings going in and out. I stopped all flow in and out, or 99% of it, until I am better able to regulate it.

I am allowing "directors" to use my powers as they deem fit, and the dark elemental has been lethally struck, or weakened severely. Perhaps this is what I should do, allow "them" to "work" with my authority. When I push my will into it, I end up hurting beings and regretting it!!! I want to minimize suffering I cause, and regret!!!



>>There is no limit to where I can push her.

>Quite so. Pay attention to what she teaches you



She has been right about everything so far. Our relationship isn't traditional, and while she has had a tubal ligation, i still seek a suitable mate to procreate with, and she understands this. I want to believe, that if intelligent beings sent me here, they also sent a mate for my human self, who will complete me in the astral sense as well. I believe Asrael and I have made our peace together. We routinely see other people and are essentially polyamorous, though she expresses regret that she cannot have me to herself specifically, she is more like a sister, almost, and I struggle with attraction issues to her, still, she has allowed me to use the label "Girlfriend" because it is far too complicated, otherwise.

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Re: Early morning visions I have had regarding a spirit spouse, heaven and hell (Christian-ish extrabiblical)

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Amor! I was able to step into the proper relationship with the universe and this planet.

Wonderful!!!

I was able to rest and "stand down". I had no fear, and full courage. Everything fell into perfect alignment.

It didn't last long, but I experienced it!


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