Can I get some input, please?

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: ~ Serenity ~

Hi everyone,

I did a reading for msyelf last night which turned out to be reflective of only the difficult parts of my life; quite a challenging read as it showed patterns of behaviour I am all too well familiar with and need to deal with in an ongoing way; also the cards had overall, a rather chastising and onerous tone. At the conclusion I sat musing on the situation and where I might go with it and decided to turn over three more cards for guidance and direct 'advice". So this is where I need help; Im not objective about these cards and once again would like some feedback from the other readers here, if you wouldn't mind.

The three advice cards I turned up were;
the Page of Wands
Two of Swords
Three of Swords

So given my system of understanding this would, starting with the Three, suggest l that I need to embrace sorrow, stop pushing it away but take it into my heart and embrace it. Ok, fine this makes sense insofar as I've been using various activities to stave off the constant pain of my brother's death. But then the Two beside it is perplexing. On one level the Two is highly applicable to my life right now; showing indecision and defensiveness, the Swords crossed over the heart to defend oneself from pain; the tense posture and blindfold shwing a refusal to move forward and willful blindness. Ok, fair enough, is this yet more of a call to emotional courage? This dire little layout seems to be saying, open your heart, face the pain of the past and the heartbreaks that lie ahead f you choose to live fully; its seems to be saying I've been stuck, frozen, defensive and in denial and even though life is painful its a good idea to get my stick back on the ice. (This interpretation is heightened by the Tower in reverse in the position of Near Future in my original CC spread. )

All of this is backed up by the Page of wands, whose appearance contrasts sharply with the Swords cards. This cheery presence shows the way out of this labyrinth of pain - the pain I see casuing more and more suffering the more stridently I attempt to repress it. Pages represent beginnings, messages and in the Wands further suggests a new project of some nature.

Now, drawing all this together, would it be fair to say a new project, something requiring openness and physical energy, can help me abandon the defensiveness and repressed suffering of the Swords cards?

I foudn myself reachng for meaning last night as I am generally feeling unclear on life right now and with a little cleverness anyone can fit a reading to their own desires or fears. So I wonder if anybody has an idea that might expand on or perhaps oppose what I came up with? I'm in a strange moment in my life and I neither want to court more heartache nor do I desire to run away from it - and thus, from life itself.
Many thanks to anyone with the tenacity to get through this post.
feranaja

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Dracophoenix

Sorrow and pain are as much a lesson in life as happiness and fun times. Sometimes it's hard to move on when something happens to bring you sorrow. You'll move on in your own way. It'll just take time. I have to agree that embracing the sorrow and pain is ok it's as much a part of healing as the final part of grieving when you think of the person you think of all the great memories rather than breaking down and crying because of losing them. I think that the cards may be saying that if you don't allow yourself all the steps through grieving it'll cause you many troubles further down the line. There are plenty of us around who are willing to help you through it all. The closer you are and the stronger the connection you have with the person the longer the greiving process is needed to heal.


I'm Shinto. We build shrines to our dead. Which is why I collect the things I do to honour those that have passed on. For me the process of making a shrine in my home is very healing when somebody I know passes on. It allows me to both feel the sorrow and honour them at the same time.


Know that your brother's spirit is there for you to talk to and assisit you anytime you need it. He is still there for you just in a different way. His spirit will be there to talk about anything you want to talk about.

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: ~ Serenity ~

Hi Dp - Great post and I very much appreciate it. I must say, didnt see the reading as related to john at all. It was dealing with a strange situation I am in, one that I cant quite figure out, that gives me a lot of energy in some ways and holds a lot of promise but currently is in an awkward stage. Im unsure of the role I play in it and moreover, what role I SHOULD be playing.

I also have a shrine for John, which is in my bedroom but will need a space of its own. Its covered with polar bears, among other things. I feel john very close by at the same time I miss his daily presence like a part of my heart has been ripped away from me. Im dealing with the pain slowly and consciously. Perhaps this readings was suggesting I need to clear my own pain before I address other issues, but I dont think so. I think I just need to stop pushing it down so hard; it makes me super sensitive and occasionally volatile. I find it hard to have clarity when my mind is clouded with this backdrop of pain.

I so much appreciate what you said about people being here for me. I have many good friends here at OF who have in various ways helped all along. Ulitmately I think we just drag ourselves thorugh the initial stages...as time goes on we face different challenges at different times. I've been depressed a lot lately. But also a strange upsurgence of energy and desire to live.

I find it interesting that I was so focused on the questions I was looking at that I almost dismissed the importance of my dealing with Johns death as it appeared here. The Two and Three add up to the Five...I am retreating into childlike fantasy a lot in order to blind myself and stay in denial, which can only lead to heartbreak and ongoing pain. Thank you again for these insights. I need to look at why I am doing the thinsg I m, as much as how will they all turn out for me.
hugs, fera

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Dracophoenix

The first person I thought of was your brother for some reason. For all I know he might be helping you the best he can through whatever you are going through. It's true there are people out there for you in your most trying times. It's what friends and the family we choose to be a part of our lives are for. If you can only share the good times with another then they only know half of you when they can be there for you when all hell has broken loose then they are true friends and true "family". Mercury was in retrograde for about a few weeks til this passed week. You may have had the affects of the retrograde causing some crazy things as well for you.

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: ~ Serenity ~

[QUOTE=Dracophoenix]The first person I thought of was your brother for some reason. For all I know he might be helping you the best he can through whatever you are going through. It's true there are people out there for you in your most trying times. It's what friends and the family we choose to be a part of our lives are for. If you can only share the good times with another then they only know half of you when they can be there for you when all hell has broken loose then they are true friends and true "family". Mercury was in retrograde for about a few weeks til this passed week. You may have had the affects of the retrograde causing some crazy things as well for you.[/QUOTE]
Whoa, was it? Shows how out of it I am, I would usually have been aware of that. With Sun and Mercury in Gemini I am always affetcd quite strongly by a Retrograde. Thanks for the eaeds up.I've been feeling more normal yesterday and today but I'm also on an anti inflammatory diet and that alwasy makes me more clear headed and energtic.

Thanks again DP. The reading is starting to become clearer and clearer. Funny how they tend to do that - the mystifying ones...
hugs, fera

[Occult Forum Archive]

Original post: Dracophoenix

I'm glad to be able to help.