Kundalini! It's starting to wear me down...

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Original post: zeroflye

just wondering how you guys deal with the 'cleansing' and maybe some tips on how to help the process. mood swings, weird coldness in some spots, depression, suicidal thoughts, seeing things move in the air, strange noises, SEVERE pressure in my brain. any feedback is wanted. also, i dont think i have any critical blocks, just an overabundance of energy spinning around inside me. quite troubling sometimes.

edit:
also, i dont know what this means, but my internal dialogue seems to have stopped completely--aside from part of a song that sometimes comes in.
but i find myself staring blankly with no "worded" thoughts in my head. this is very new for me..what the hell? anyway, i look forward to insight.

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Original post: Qryztufre

This is one of those cross over terms and as such not much information can be foun in the ATP forum. You may find that you have better luck up in the Eastern Faiths forum...more specifically in the Everything Kundalini thread.
Q

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Original post: Mmothra

I think the first thing you should do is visit your doctor to make sure there is nothing physically wrong... Why do you assume it is Kundalini energy? Have you been doing exercises to generate it?

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Original post: zeroflye

yes i have, after a short while of some magickal breakthroughs, it has seemed to go into overdrive. i have no doubt its the energy, as i can feel its progress up and throughout my body. though..seeing a doctor has not been crossed off my list. i've heard that it can get pretty intense.

i feel like i should say, though, that its not all bad. with the bad and terribly weird theres also moments of extreme happiness and ecstacy. i'm just looking for some advice from anyone who (is knowing) has gone through/is going through the process.

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Original post: Mmothra

Kundalini is one of those things that can be rather dangerous if one isn't receiving guidance. You might want to see if you can find a local tantra expert/instructor for advice.

However, if you are experiencing physical problems, knock of the kundalini work and touch base with your doctor (an ayurvedic physician wouldn't be such a bad idea). You might also consider alternating kundalini meditation with something like shamatha or vipassana to create some balance.

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Original post: zeroflye

thanks much balance rings a bell and i think thats whats missing, in some form or another.
i also live with my parents at the moment until college, and i dont know how they would take "i think i should see a doctor/tantra instructor because i'm seeing spirits and my life energy is shooting out my head"
if it gets bad, though, i have no problem with a little awkwardness!

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Original post: Mmothra

If that is the case, I would lay off the kundalini exercises for the time being and do grounding meditations. You can begin with Shamatha which is easy to practice, and difficult to master! It has immediate benefits (I have found) and it creates a wonderful base for more complex meditative techniques later. 10 minutes a couple times a day is ample to begin. My guess is that you will find focusing on the process of breathing to be a useful tonic.

Again, if you continue to have physical symptoms, see a doctor!

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Original post: zeroflye

i've just checked out the "everything kundalini", and i meet most if not all of the symptoms.
numbness/cold in the left leg really hit me. while i'm on the subject, i think i should mention anything else, as i dont want to leave any areas out in which someone could help.
i'm only listing what i've felt strongly or have been completely convinced of.

-a feeling of being androgynous, or switching involuntarily between sexes.
i'm male, and there have been times where it actually felt like my body was female,
in a very physical way. i've also masturbated when like this, lol
this sometimes makes me feel like i have two personalites or consiousnesses.

-feeling of a presense around me, making my feet very cold and tingly.
once in my parents room, where it seemed to be talking to me in a low rumbling.
i couldnt make it out, and layed down on the bed next to it. during which, i heard
bangs on my basement door.

-seeing shapes in waking life very akin to the hypnogogic state before dreaming.
colorful shapes. also, tiny lines or movements in the air that seem like smoke, but that
move very subtly the area around them, like pond ripples on the smallest scale.
these, and tiny flashes of light like static shocks in the air. i'm assuming these are spirits
or just energy?

-sounds. i've heard large splashing sounds like something big being dropped into a pool
of water, and afterwards, the sound of rain. this hasnt happened for days, though.
though, my furniture hasnt shut up! usually when laying in bed, things seem to click and snap.

these are the external things i've noticed so far. if only because it makes me feel much better to let it out. ah, bless the OC.

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Original post: zeroflye

the shamatha meditations are very nice to have. thank you mmothra

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Original post: Mmothra

de nada

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Original post: Specktackular

I read something interesting recently that said divine presence was not an imposition and any enlightenment consequences that are fugged up (ie. common experiences such as this) are not of divine origin at all. That gave me something to think about as I have certainly been studying and practicing eastern / kundalini techniques the most.

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Original post: pathless

-feeling of a presense around me, making my feet very cold and tingly.
once in my parents room, where it seemed to be talking to me in a low rumbling.
i couldnt make it out, and layed down on the bed next to it. during which, i heard
bangs on my basement door.

How did these observations turn into this presense ? Feelings of cold energy rushes...which should be VERY positive and cleansing(on many different levels). I would be very careful not to let past conditioning (at these very open times of energy rushes) create a presense or an opening for an entity benevolent or not .AN OBSERVER is safe .An observer without judgements or enternal dialogue (on how, who, or whats banging in the basement) just pure observation.This energy in your body makes mindfulness VERY easy just observe it unattatched.

-, tiny lines or movements in the air that seem like smoke, but that
move very subtly the area around them, like pond ripples on the smallest scale.
these, and tiny flashes of light like static shocks in the air. i'm assuming these are spirits
or just energy?

This is a VERY HIGH place to be in every day life(weirdshitglow). No these ARE NOT SPIRITS maybe your seeing things MORE clear now or the way things are on this stage of the game? "JUST BREATH"The same with Hearing things.You might be intrested in Bob Boyds website

www.kundalini-support.com

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Original post: Necropolis

[QUOTE=zeroflye]just wondering how you guys deal with the 'cleansing' and maybe some tips on how to help the process. mood swings, weird coldness in some spots, depression, suicidal thoughts, seeing things move in the air, strange noises, SEVERE pressure in my brain. any feedback is wanted. also, i dont think i have any critical blocks, just an overabundance of energy spinning around inside me. quite troubling sometimes.

edit:
also, i dont know what this means, but my internal dialogue seems to have stopped completely--aside from part of a song that sometimes comes in.
but i find myself staring blankly with no "worded" thoughts in my head. this is very new for me..what the hell? anyway, i look forward to insight.[/QUOTE]When I do kundalini I don't have those symptoms, actually as the energy builds up, I have little bursts of pain in old injuries that eventually go away and then dont come back. I feeel warm and really good, but I do get the pressure in my head, and brain.
The brain part and the rest of what I feel comes from the realigning of energy, the brain is taking more energy in, so it feels like pressure until the energies can flow easily through your bodies. Anyway thats what it feels like in my body.

I also know hat it is like to have your thoughts vanish and you stare at something for a second and find out it was twenty muinutes or more. If you are doing that you are going into trances, and need to ground.

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Original post: KageKi

here is a group that will definatly help!!!

http://www.kundalinisupportnetwork.com/


they are a great bunch!!!

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Original post: Ceriel Nosforit

[QUOTE=zeroflye]also, tiny lines or movements in the air that seem like smoke, but that move very subtly the area around them, like pond ripples on the smallest scale. these, and tiny flashes of light like static shocks in the air. i'm assuming these are spirits or just energy?[/QUOTE]
I also see those movements. I liken them with those heat-waves you see over asphalt of hot sunny days, but as you said, subtle.
However, I only see them when I focus my eyes a certain way, and I don't remember having my kundalini awaken. I can focus my eyes to see it at any time I wish to do so.

I also see tiny flashes from time to time. It's like silver glitter in the air a sunny day, usually lasting for some seconds.

ED:
I just tried maintaining that focus for longer than I usually do. Woha. Serious energy activity. Felt like my face was swelling, and then intensified on my brow chakra and whatever that thing is that one has in the chin.

...And by the time I had written that, a second wave of activity. Very strange.

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Original post: Iamu

-a feeling of being androgynous, or switching involuntarily between sexes...
...-seeing shapes in waking life very akin to the hypnogogic state before dreaming.
colorful shapes. also, tiny lines or movements in the air that seem like smoke...

also, i dont know what this means, but my internal dialogue seems to have stopped completely--aside from part of a song that sometimes comes in.
but i find myself staring blankly with no "worded" thoughts in my head. this is very new for me..what the hell? anyway, i look forward to insight.

I don't have much experience with specifically kundalini related techniques, but I, too, have experienced these symptoms while working with the Kabbalistic Tree of Life, and they've seemed to generally indicate progress.

I approached the sex "switch" by developing it into a partially indepedent persona that "talks" to my male side/persona. You may want to try feeling out the differences between the motivations of your male and female sides; maybe try giving them relative names. I found this akward at first, and sometimes felt like I was caught between two "heads", or identifying more with the anima persona, that is the female side, even in day-to-day situations. However, these experiences have given the female persona a chance to develop, and have gradually dropped off as my "sides" integrate.

The no-worded thinking has been particularly useful and important to me, and I suggest you practice it and become used to it. Speech is a relatively slow medium to understanding. You'll be amazed how fast you find yourself thinking once you can disconnect from "spoken" thoughts; pictures and feelings can explain in milliseconds what usually takes several seconds to process through the inner monologue. Also, I find "idea maps" are more useful for developing a wholistic and multi-dimensional picture of a concept, whereas monologue tends to be much more linear. As I've learned to sustain wordless thought on an everyday, all-day basis, I zone out much less and find I can bring my thoughts back "down to earth" more easily without dropping back into the inner monologue.

Mmothra's suggestion about the grounding exercises sounds pretty solid to me. I found I tended to "crash" back to earth when I went at these levels a little too hard, and grounding more regularly probably would have helped me avoid that. But you should probably realize this may all gradually become part of your "norm", something you experience alongside your old day-to-day consciousnes.

Congrats, and best of luck.

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Original post: Malfurion

Lol, im so glad im not the only one whos experienced the sex swich thing...

I get the pressure on my head/brain at the worst times like at school when im not trying to think about anything.Then often no worded thoughts accompany that.

I also see the line and movements in the air thing, sometimes resembling bodyparts, but mostly shapes or random things.

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Original post: zeroflye

hah! i've tried the exact thing with getting to know the female. and have communicated with her, kind of like having split personalities, both yourself.

the sex switch thing has become a project. the feelings are just so strong, i figure why not see how far i can go in it's purity. it's weird, but the simplest thing. we're all androgynous in our pure states.

actually, theres some bother with this. she seems to have a VERY active sexuality.
haha...its very funny sometimes. makes me feel awkward.

I recently had an OBE (relatively average focus) and since we both agree that her liberation will also help me, we seek out stimulus for it's progression. This ended with me pulling in some female essense, and then being jolted back into the body because of intense clitorus stimulation. damn. lol. its hard to come to terms with sometimes.
i love her though

i'm surprised theres not more info on the subject.
thank everyone for all the wonderful thoughts.

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Original post: zeroflye

on a different note, pathless
the weirdshitglow made me think that as well.
when i get into thinking about those areas while in waking life,
i admit i have trouble. the big WHY comes up.
then i get way too emotional and personal.
a kind of I-AM-NESS nihilism akin to Bob's SLACK is good for this.
like a buddha-tlyer durden, heh
you know that feeling where it seems like theres so much inside you
that it could all just burst one day without you trying? it's inspiring but horrible at times.
i cant help but feel a great love in the midst of this.
just breath. my thanks

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Original post: ChaosTech

I would suggest making contact with the Divine, Higher self, God, etc, etc, etc.

This doesn't mean you say "hey [insert name here], I don't know what the bleep is going on with me, please help," and all the sudden you problems are fixed, as you are the center of you, and so must take a role in fixing you, weither passive or active, or a bit of both, but this in my experience is the best way to get out of the magickal nightmares, we sometimes in our ignorance put ourselves into.

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Original post: zeroflye

i agree and i've definately had it in mind.
it's hard for me to astrally project and i'm not used to it.
so i think that's the first thing that needs to be done, easy entry