Chaos Magick Quick and Dirty

[SolarFlea]

Before I knew about Chaos Magick, I had a situation. I had a pet cat that I loved, and it in turn only cared for me. My neighbor poisoned it with antifreeze, My cat Bastet, died and I was very upset. I went into the house and retrieved a box of Kosher Salt from the kitchen. All the while letting my rage and pain build into a force inside my lower abdomen. I sat at the bottom of my steps as I let my pent up emotion swell, while picturing the woman who was the object of my intent. At the point I felt my rage was at it's peak, I took a handful of salt and drew on the paving stone a random symbol. I then let all the energy flow up my spine and back, through my chest and head down my arms, and simultaneously blanked my mind and "blasted" the energy down my arms toward the salt and viciously blew it away in the direction of her home. The next day she was in a head-on collision, I think the other driver died, but I know she was in hospital for a long time and had to learn to walk again. This is what attracted my to what I call Chaos Magick. I have always feared if I read too much, or overthink it I will not have this kind of power again. I would very much like to hear your thoughts, opinions, and experiences on this.

[Nahemah]

What a horrible thing to do to your cat.

Cetainly a chaotic response,but a terrible shame an innocent person died over it.
There is good reason many advise waiting for retribution,in such cases.
Acting in the heat of the moment can have unfortunate consequences.
Do you care about the other person dying?

[SolarFlea]

Nahemah, I do care that someone died. My intent was for all her negativity to come crashing down on her at once, she was not a nice person. The other victim can be seen as yet another victim of her acts. I do not think for a moment that I have no responsibility in the matter, I know I was the catalyst. It was unfortunate, and terrible. I can equate it to a stray bullet , or a ricochet. I did not want to harm that person but events are linked, and "innocent" people die all the time. Whether I a supposed to or, not I very much regret that they died.

[yyxx]

I would say the other victim's death could be completely independent of your meddling. It may have been their turn to die and it just came about that way.

I've had a similar experience causing harm to another like that. I was young, silly and angry. Just the occurrence of the experience made me shift my internal re-actions to things. Made me more aware of how destructive a single thought with a lot of intention behind it can be.

[Nahemah]

Sorry to be so blunt,I 'm glad to know you care about it.

It might well be true it's unconnected to your efforts,but equally it might be an unfortunate side effect of them.

We live and learn and I 've learned the hard way too,about many things in life.I wasn't trying to be cruel,but I wanted to know how you felt,regarding the possibility of 'collateral damage'.

Antifreeze ingestion is a horrible death for any life form,this woman is a right piece of work,nasty and callous.That remains true,no matter what else happened,just saying.

[SolarFlea]

Nahemah, I understand, I have been told compassion is a weakness by some, I do not accept that. I also realise it is foolish to think Magick can be any more "surgical" than any other type of action we take. I mean to say everything affects everything, we know this. To take the role of complete passivity, and absorb the loss of my cat, to be the "Bigger Person" seemed a bit shite to me as well. I love people, I truly do and some of those people I want to kill at times.
The freedom I found In Chaos Magick, via Thelema, is I am me, no excuses, some regrets.

My new friend Kath wrote me about this very subject, and I found it very meaningful and supportive. I quote.

"At the end of the day, the only opinion you REALLY have to live with, is yours. don't do anything you'll have trouble forgiving yourself over.
but do bear in mind that much of what you may feel to be your own internal moral standards, may actually be social indoctrination.
embrace the whole self, from that terrifying dark bit, to that awesomely light bit, one whole self... different, apparently contradictory, but part of one harmonized whole. from there you can know your true self, your whole self. and then from there, decide what to do, based on the full array of your being/nature. don't let any single drive play king of the court, fairly represent your holistic self in thought and action.

you're a terrifying monster, and an altruistic being of compassion. be you."

[reptilian]

For some reason the impression tends to be that chaos magic is more dangerous in this way than other practices. I think the only thing that really justifies that idea is the fact that some chaos magicians tend to practice in a random way, deliberately effecting large numbers of people, unaware of who they are or how prepared they are for gnosis.
However, I tend to use chaos magic almost exclusively toward/for myself, to increase my gnosis, to heighten my abilities and I see very little, if any, backlash. When I was taking part in the LS project, things were a little different and there was greater capacity for harm, but even the worst of that was pretty minor.
For the first time in my life am I attempting any chaos magic that could be potentially harmful, but I have directed it in such a way that collateral damage is a fairly unlikely possibility, unless I drive someone to madness.

In so far as what you achieved, SolarFlea, I'm impressed, though sorry that it resulted in the ending of life.

[SolarFlea]

Reptilian, This happened a very long time ago, and as I said I had not heard of Chaos Magick at the time. I think it was so effective because it was so primal, and I did not pause to even doubt it. I am at a point now where I am more concerned with improving my self. I am at heart very altruistic, but if I had no recourse I would blast someone if need be, mind you not over a parking space, or the last slice of pie. They say what goes around comes around, but I remember being on a roundabout on the playground. It would go around but it went around much faster with your own added energy, or someone else s pushing it along. So I don't have any faith in some benign force taking up for a wrong done to me, or saying "oh dear he got screwed on that deal let's give him a leg up." Nasty deeds go unpunished, way more often that good ones are rewarded. I am not cynical just realistic. Thank you all for your input. I don't know any local Magickians, so it is nice to hear your "voices".

[reptilian]

I was not trying to suggest the existence of karma or the threefold rule or anything like that. I don't believe that you suffer correspondent consequences for your actions all the time, and I understand the concept that sometimes magic or direct action can fill in the gaps in justice.

I was just saying that sometimes you can cause a greater effect than you intend, or that you can effect other people when you didn't mean to. I should have said "collateral damage" instead of "backlash". XD

[Vashta]

I sometimes find myself musing over whether Karma/Return-laws etc are really a universal constant, but I don't believe they are.

I think in a lot of cases, we punish ourselves, or in some cases we get punished by others because we did something that pissed them off, or they're just not very nice people, but I have a hard time believing in Karma, when, as you guys have said, often bad deeds do go unpinished.

And, as a chaote, Karma is only useful if I only ever do good things