What the hell is a Higher Self?

[Occultess]

Hi.

Ok. I've got some questions regarding the Higher Self.

1. Is it possible for a spirit to fake being your Higher Self?

2. Do Higher Selves ever lie/have personal agendas, etc.?

3. Is it a separate being from yourself (complete with a different appearance, different name and a life of their own)?

[adawehi]

1. If it is slick enough yes but not likely. Proper grounding,centering and protecting yourself can help alleviate this worry.

2. No.

3. The higher self is your subconscious thus, it would be foolish and highly unlikely to lie to you. It also has a direct connection to the energy source some refer to as God, Buddha, Creator or whatever their beliefs and paradigms dictate. This could give the illusion of it being a separate entity. It will look however it needs to look to get it's point across to you. It can have it's own name and will tell it to you if you ask it to. Your subconscious never forgets anything unlike your conscious mind. It will take all the experience/s you have attained to date to arrive at a conclusion it deems proper. You should know your higher self if you have been able to contact and converse with it. You should have an almost overwhelming feeling of well being and love surrounding you. That one thing alone is what makes it highly unlikely you have been fooled by anything malicious. Per my paradigm, since your subconscious has control of all your personality facets, one goal is to balance all these facets. If we happen to be timid/shy, we can learn to shed that trait by replacing it with a bit of self confidence as an example. The closer we are to being balanced, the better we can communicate with our higher self. As for a life of it's own, that depends on how you wish to view it. I believe our higher self is actually our spirit which I view as energy. Energy never dies according to science.

[reptilian]

I think "higher self" is an unfortunate euphemism that people use when they're trying to say "you just don't get it yet".
What I mean is... when almost anyone advises you to "get in touch with" your higher self, (in my experience) they're usually implying that they don't think you are "in touch" with their version of reality. This is usually said half out of annoyance, and half out of good intention.
The higher self is a concept associated with the kind of gnosis that people are seeking through religious, spiritual and magical practices; it doesn't actually exist, it's just a nice neat idea that you can use as a "goal" in obtaining gnosis. When you've met your "higher self", you'll know your "true will", you'll reach some state of "nirvana", no matter how temporary.
Am I making sense?

If someone tells you to reach out to your higher self, tell them to screw off, politely. XD

Disclaimer: I'm extremely cynical about any and all spiritual meaning associated with the occult. It's psychology, parlor tricks, delusion, amusement, and results.

[Aliga]

Ooh man, don't I feel like the odd one out? [tongue] I do partly agree that the "higher self" is not any kind of separate entity, but just something to mean that feeling of gnosis, or maybe "oneness," that comes with magical practices... but i'm much more of a spiritualist/literalist when it comes to the occult. I think that when most people talk about the "higher self" they're really referring to something that I've only heard referred to as the "Holy Guardian Angel," which in my paradigm is a separate entity that, supposedly, should only be around to help and guide you. In my personal experience, my HGA presented himself as a sort of Higher Self when I first began my magical path, but that was in order to better guide me.

With that in mind, I definitely think a HGA can have a personality, life, and agenda all its own, but (again) supposedly its there to help you. Also, to answer the first question, it probably is possible for a spirit to fake being your "Higher Self" or HGA, but with some good, healthy skepticism it should be pretty easy to tell.

Then again, maybe reptillian has the right idea, and its all the same thing. I won't pretend to have all the answers [grin]

[Occultess]

The being I've been speaking to (off and on for....maybe 6 years) is a totally different being than me. She looks different, different name, and does have a separate life. I know she's not my Guardian Angel cause I've asked her. I know she's not my spirit guide 'cause I've asked her. But Higher Self gets a positive response.

She has told me that she has had a life here on Earth and that she knew me then (I don't know if she had others, that's just the one that was spoken of). She hasn't known me my whole life, although I'm not sure if she came into it when she first started talking to me or if it was before then. She is in charge of what she calls my "History" or my "Histories", which is......well, it's your life how it was written out (not necessarily what happened, but how it was supposed to be). She knows this for my current and past lives.

I can feel her energy when she is around. It feels....positive, I guess would be a good word. And when she is around I can see an image of her in my head. I mean, I don't see it the whole time, but it's like an indicator that she is there.

She hasn't been altogether bad, but I have my doubts about her, because my life becomes Hell when we speak. She tells me things sometimes that I really don't think I should know right now. And sometimes things that I would just be happier finding out by myself (through my own discovery) or just, you know.........living, and letting it happen naturally like it's supposed to. I've asked her to stop telling me things like that, but she won't.

And then there's.....telling me who I'm supposed to be with. Not just giving me a name or something "You will love Bob", but like....telling me I have to be with this one particular guy and that I'm not to be with this other particular guy. I don't know either one personally (although I know of them), but I would prefer the one she/they don't want me to be with. And, what I see in my meditations......these things seem to point to me being with the guy she/they don't want me to be with. It's an issue that keeps being harped on. It's like I have to choose now.

I've stopped talking to her. I've made decisions to be with/go after/love the one I actually prefer, but....they've done things like: mess with my head (like....do things to change my thoughts) to get me to make the decsion they want me to make. After a while I resisted, but....they just tried something else. I don't think they'll rest until I do what they want. (I know this sounds a bit....looney, but...please bear with)

I did find one spirit that goes against what the rest have said, and told me that they "just want me to follow orders" and that I should be with the other guy, because "love is love". He didn't give a name, though, so because of that and his anti stance, I just call him, The Rogue.

[Aliga]

they've done things like: mess with my head (like....do things to change my thoughts) to get me to make the decsion they want me to make. After a while I resisted, but....they just tried something else. I don't think they'll rest until I do what they want. (I know this sounds a bit....looney, but...please bear with)

In my opinion, anything that messes with your free will is a Very Bad Thing. Get your game face on, do some heavy-duty banishing and protection, and get these things the hell out of your life. If you have someone in your life that can help with these things, call 'em up if you feel the need. Maybe they are trying to help, doing the whole "tough love" gig, but I wouldn't sit around and take that crap if I were in your situation.

[Occultess]

they've done things like: mess with my head (like....do things to change my thoughts) to get me to make the decsion they want me to make. After a while I resisted, but....they just tried something else. I don't think they'll rest until I do what they want. (I know this sounds a bit....looney, but...please bear with)

In my opinion, anything that messes with your free will is a Very Bad Thing. Get your game face on, do some heavy-duty banishing and protection, and get these things the hell out of your life. If you have someone in your life that can help with these things, call 'em up if you feel the need. Maybe they are trying to help, doing the whole "tough love" gig, but I wouldn't sit around and take that crap if I were in your situation.

To be fair, I didn't really see who did the "messing with my head" thing, but I could feel something being done and I can't really imagine that it wouldn't either be her or one of the others that are on the same page. The second thing,....it was more of an assumption, I guess. But, it still seemed that it may have been what it was, so that one, perhaps I'm wrong. But,...maybe not.

Thanks for your input, though.

[akimbomoss]

Are these beings just thoughtforms? I actually created a lot of thoughtforms and the chaos from trying to follow all of their advice was damaging for my life. I think to have a servitor you have to do a ritual and it's a step above a thoughtform. If you had an imaginary friend as a child and it turned into your guardian angel when somebody told you about HGAs then is it really there to help you or is it just a personality slice of yourself?

Also how are they talking to you? If you hear voices in your head then find the best one and only listen to that one, banishing the rest if needed. Either that or do what I did and set all of them free and only work with the archangels. With the archangels they only communicate to me with colored light or whole body sensations of love (rare) and I've figured out they don't really want to intervene too much, just tell me they're here and ready to help. If an entity is intervening too much then you're just doing what they want right?

[Aliga]

Are these beings just thoughtforms? ... If you had an imaginary friend as a child and it turned into your guardian angel when somebody told you about HGAs then is it really there to help you or is it just a personality slice of yourself?

Maybe imaginary friends are spirits, at least in some cases... I've heard it said that children can see spirits and things much easier than adults can, since they don't have a lifetime of conditioning of "magic/spirits/etc aren't real". Or, if a child spends years with an imaginary friend, it could become a pretty potent thoughtform.

I know in my case, though, my HGA didn't come to me/make itself known until I had outgrown the "imaginary friend" stage, and I had already deducted that it was something like an HGA before I ever heard the term, but obviously I can't speak for the OP.

[Stukov]

The term Higher-Self has many different meanings and as some have already pointed out, connotations. As a word borrowing from simplistic nouns, it is easy for many things to be applied to the "higher-self" concept, and by this its meaning varies depending on source and context. Generally, as a rule of thumb, I would say it involves a part of your self that is "higher" than you currently are, a better example would be is if you could "connect" to/with it/yourself, it would literally feel that it is "above" you. In terms of chakras it would feel coming down through your crown above your head.

The connection can be something as small as a thread, passing information through your subconscious, feeding you knowledge and wisdom through intuition. If you are able to develop a stronger connection (say a rope rather than a thread), then the information can be more conscious and cognitive, even allow you access things/concepts like the astral, your personal library (akachsick records), and other realms, even the human shared consciousness and the past/present/future. These, however, are highly dependent on your abilities because anything you are able to do requires a physical basis to manifest in the physical world (such as parts of your brain, glands, etc).

The way I typically define your higher self is in conjunction with what some call an "oversoul", which is, depending on how many different lives you have lived (not all necessarily human) you total accumulation of spirit or soul, is your higher self. It is the rest of your spirit that cannot inhabit your physical body, there is simply too much energy and the human body couldn't contain it (currently). Further, depending on who "you" are, there may be further definition of the higher self where the higher is where your cognitive, wisdom, reason, order, logic, parts of you reside. The best example is to think of the Jedi, who are not supposed to "feel emotion cuz its so darkside", and their are to use the "higher level thinking", even to derive compassion. The lower part of yourself is the opposite, it is where your emotions, urges, rage, chaos reside - your animalistic instinct resides here - and such things are multiplied should you be or have any connection "demons/demonic" types. Finally your middle self is you as you are as a human. You offer control and balance of both the lower and higher aspects of your spirit/soul and self.

Though not all individuals do this. Even the old individuals who talk about being at one with yourself (and as they see it the universe/"god"), they are usually talking about what can be a blissful feeling you can get from being connected to your higher self. Most stop their progres there, and think its the final destination, and forsake their lower selves (and as I have wrote elsewhere this can lead to a separation of spirit creating a new one comprised purely of the lower and lacking the balance of middle/higher selves) as they don't understand it sometimes fearing it.

An entity can try to pretend to be yourself, more likely if you develop a "voice" to communicate to parts of your higher self, this can be an issue, but normally you should have a very "pure" feeling that this is you, like no one knows you better than yourself. Its one of those things that you just know. You should know as well, you can have disagreements with your higher self as well, because unless you have integrated (merged personalities) you are going to have different experiences, you higher self is going to have the memories of all your past lives, where you only have your current one - and while at times you higher self can be "wiser" it can simply just have a different opinion.

Finally you have to consider your higher self is on the tops of sky scrapers looking down on the city below, while you are out walking around on the streets. Being on the ground you can see the fine details and make better decisions in that small area and conversely your higher self can see the road blocks and pitfalls on you journey through the crowded streets. It usually takes a balance of both to progress through the right paths and journeys.

[adawehi]

She has told me that she has had a life here on Earth and that she knew me then (I don't know if she had others, that's just the one that was spoken of). She hasn't known me my whole life, although I'm not sure if she came into it when she first started talking to me or if it was before then. She is in charge of what she calls my "History" or my "Histories", which is......well, it's your life how it was written out (not necessarily what happened, but how it was supposed to be). She knows this for my current and past lives.

This part sticks out like a sore thumb to me because it goes against what I've been "told" by those on the other side. If someone was keeping your history on the other side, [which I'm told is not the case] then they would be considered an angel. Angels don't take human flesh as we do to live a human life. We aren't given "jobs" when we pass on either so that dog don't hunt for me.

She hasn't been altogether bad, but I have my doubts about her, because my life becomes Hell when we speak. She tells me things sometimes that I really don't think I should know right now. And sometimes things that I would just be happier finding out by myself (through my own discovery) or just, you know.........living, and letting it happen naturally like it's supposed to. I've asked her to stop telling me things like that, but she won't.

And then there's.....telling me who I'm supposed to be with. Not just giving me a name or something "You will love Bob", but like....telling me I have to be with this one particular guy and that I'm not to be with this other particular guy. I don't know either one personally (although I know of them), but I would prefer the one she/they don't want me to be with. And, what I see in my meditations......these things seem to point to me being with the guy she/they don't want me to be with. It's an issue that keeps being harped on. It's like I have to choose now.

None of this would be the function of a Higher self or Guardian. The Higher self is intended to give you guidance when you ask for it. The function of a Guardian is to give warnings of impending danger. What you've stated reads like you're being dictated to and controlled.

I've stopped talking to her. I've made decisions to be with/go after/love the one I actually prefer, but....they've done things like: mess with my head (like....do things to change my thoughts) to get me to make the decsion they want me to make. After a while I resisted, but....they just tried something else. I don't think they'll rest until I do what they want. (I know this sounds a bit....looney, but...please bear with)

Ditto on this. Once again you're being controlled only a tad more forcefully.

I did find one spirit that goes against what the rest have said, and told me that they "just want me to follow orders" and that I should be with the other guy, because "love is love". He didn't give a name, though, so because of that and his anti stance, I just call him, The Rogue.

Add this to the mix and it seems to me you're being toyed with by one or more working in concert.

My suggestion would be to do whatever it takes in your paradigm to put some shielding up and do a tad of banishing to remove any and all negative influence/s..

[Occultess]

She has told me that she has had a life here on Earth and that she knew me then (I don't know if she had others, that's just the one that was spoken of). She hasn't known me my whole life, although I'm not sure if she came into it when she first started talking to me or if it was before then. She is in charge of what she calls my "History" or my "Histories", which is......well, it's your life how it was written out (not necessarily what happened, but how it was supposed to be). She knows this for my current and past lives.

This part sticks out like a sore thumb to me because it goes against what I've been "told" by those on the other side. If someone was keeping your history on the other side, [which I'm told is not the case] then they would be considered an angel. Angels don't take human flesh as we do to live a human life. We aren't given "jobs" when we pass on either so that dog don't hunt for me.

She hasn't been altogether bad, but I have my doubts about her, because my life becomes Hell when we speak. She tells me things sometimes that I really don't think I should know right now. And sometimes things that I would just be happier finding out by myself (through my own discovery) or just, you know.........living, and letting it happen naturally like it's supposed to. I've asked her to stop telling me things like that, but she won't.

And then there's.....telling me who I'm supposed to be with. Not just giving me a name or something "You will love Bob", but like....telling me I have to be with this one particular guy and that I'm not to be with this other particular guy. I don't know either one personally (although I know of them), but I would prefer the one she/they don't want me to be with. And, what I see in my meditations......these things seem to point to me being with the guy she/they don't want me to be with. It's an issue that keeps being harped on. It's like I have to choose now.

None of this would be the function of a Higher self or Guardian. The Higher self is intended to give you guidance when you ask for it. The function of a Guardian is to give warnings of impending danger. What you've stated reads like you're being dictated to and controlled.

I've stopped talking to her. I've made decisions to be with/go after/love the one I actually prefer, but....they've done things like: mess with my head (like....do things to change my thoughts) to get me to make the decsion they want me to make. After a while I resisted, but....they just tried something else. I don't think they'll rest until I do what they want. (I know this sounds a bit....looney, but...please bear with)

Ditto on this. Once again you're being controlled only a tad more forcefully.

I did find one spirit that goes against what the rest have said, and told me that they "just want me to follow orders" and that I should be with the other guy, because "love is love". He didn't give a name, though, so because of that and his anti stance, I just call him, The Rogue.

Add this to the mix and it seems to me you're being toyed with by one or more working in concert.

My suggestion would be to do whatever it takes in your paradigm to put some shielding up and do a tad of banishing to remove any and all negative influence/s..

Thanks, guys!

And thanks, Adawehi! You make a lot of sense. I have been thinking of doing some sort of protection something or other to keep them away, but I'm so confused about this and other things and I'm still pretty new to the occult, so I wanted to be sure I was doing the right thing. I was even doing some Tarot readings to try to figure out "who to choose" and "how to figure out who to choose" (guys wise - *that's the thing that's been most plaguing me, because it's like having my heart ripped out*) and the cards said I should figure out what the truth was. And after trying one avenue, I wound up on this site that has online Tarot readings (and I know that in and of itself is a pretty iffy thing, but while I've done some electronic Tarot reading that are about as accurate as you would expect it to be, some are actually spookily accurate. This site seems to have pretty decsent readings, so...

Anyway, I did like a bazzilion readings and one of them was asking if they lied to me and it was using a past, present, future spread. The card in the past spot (which I would say would be where the lie/truth would have taken place) was the Raven card, which according to the site, meant Trickster and.....I forget was the other part was, but it was something along the lines of deceit.

Also, I tried meditating on it a bit. It was really just a quick dip, but I nonetheless saw something. Not exactly sure what it means, but....it was a little fairy sized version of the one who says she's my Higher Self and then a much bigger, more human sized version of her traps her underneath a glass.....like one of those glass covers you put over a cake that you're keeping in your kitchen so it doesn't get dried out or stepped all over by flies.

She does actually say she's an angel, though.

Thanks, again!

[Occultess]

Thought I'd add this:

When the Rogue was telling me that thing about following orders, if I'm not mistaken, he was talking about both me AND the guy the others want me to be with following them. He said he has someone he loves, too and that if WE didn't get together that they and me and my prefered guy could have fresh love for one another. And that we could still do the stuff we are supposed to do in our lives.

And there was something about pleasing God. I'm sorry, this was from a bit ago and I'm not remembering everything really terrific. It may have even been like God just wants you to follow orders or certain people are doing things to please God. Ughhch...

And the Rogue never denounced the others as fakes. Just that I shouldn't follow them, at the very least on that front.

I honestly don't know if their bugging the other guy about any of this, though. *shrug*

I mean, I should still probably get them away from me, it's just complex.

*sigh* Thanks for listening...

[Aliga]

Sometimes you just need to get this stuff off your chest, especially if you don't have anyone to talk to in your normal life

[weezyfosheezy]

The Higher Self I think of the book of Jove. Metaphorically very enlightening. Jove had everything taken from him, but his spiritual self was unperturbed. That is what is meant by reaching a higher self in my mind. Whether it is due to being truely faithful to God or being truly faithful to your own natural survival (this is your situation deal with it, adapt or die). Once you reach you higher self you should be able to accept anything against you with faith in God or desire to survive and grow unperturbed in the slightest.

[Occultess]

Sometimes you just need to get this stuff off your chest, especially if you don't have anyone to talk to in your normal life

Thanks for understanding. [smile]

[adawehi]

She does actually say she's an angel, though.

That dog doesn't hunt for me either. When your free will is being taken and you're being dictated to, you have become a slave just short of being possessed. A Guardian would warn you of a possible danger, you're more than free to heed it or not. A Higher Self can help you to attain knowledge or fix a problem. You're free to use the knowledge or use the suggestion to fix the problem or not. At no time should you allow anyone or anything to control your actions or thoughts. Your "Angel", "Higher Self" entity or whatever IMHO is playing you, and winning to an extent. Your Rogue actually makes more sense but I wouldn't trust him/her either to much at this point.

Tarot to me is an art form and not unlike Magick, you have to figure out what works for you. In any event, you shouldn't ask the same question a zillion times. You ask once and what you get is what you get.

As to whom you should be with, you've already answered that question for yourself. It's who makes you the happiest. Don't over analyze it.

As for protection, what works for me is to draw a bubble or hamster ball around myself. I start at my feet and draw an arc over my head back to me feet from north to south, again from east to west and once more making a waist high circle around myself. This hamster ball goes where I go. It's a hamster ball. Although in my case it's more of a really, really big ape ball because of my height and size. [grin] I then mentally say that all negative influence is to leave this are I'm enclosed within and only positive influence is able to enter.

It may also help to tell these entities that they cannot come to you when they wish, they can only come to you when you wish it.

Disclaimer: What I've said I mean as suggestions only. I don't intend for you to take any of this as instructions. What works for me may or may not work for you. I'm no "expert" at anything beyond pissing off my domestic partner,,, rather often. [confused] What I'm reading is a lot of confusion on your part which is totally understandable. You were led here for a reason. THAT is how it's supposed to work. For the moment, ignore what you are being told from the other side and give them in plain language the command to leave you the hell alone until you give them permission to speak,,, and mean it. Then sit yourself down and think about what makes sense to you. You're an adult, I assume and you have your own mind that is capable of rational thought. One goal in your life is to be happy. Right now you're not happy. Do what it takes to make you happy.

[Occultess]

She does actually say she's an angel, though.

That dog doesn't hunt for me either. When your free will is being taken and you're being dictated to, you have become a slave just short of being possessed. A Guardian would warn you of a possible danger, you're more than free to heed it or not. A Higher Self can help you to attain knowledge or fix a problem. You're free to use the knowledge or use the suggestion to fix the problem or not. At no time should you allow anyone or anything to control your actions or thoughts. Your "Angel", "Higher Self" entity or whatever IMHO is playing you, and winning to an extent. Your Rogue actually makes more sense but I wouldn't trust him/her either to much at this point.

Tarot to me is an art form and not unlike Magick, you have to figure out what works for you. In any event, you shouldn't ask the same question a zillion times. You ask once and what you get is what you get.

As to whom you should be with, you've already answered that question for yourself. It's who makes you the happiest. Don't over analyze it.

As for protection, what works for me is to draw a bubble or hamster ball around myself. I start at my feet and draw an arc over my head back to me feet from north to south, again from east to west and once more making a waist high circle around myself. This hamster ball goes where I go. It's a hamster ball. Although in my case it's more of a really, really big ape ball because of my height and size. [grin] I then mentally say that all negative influence is to leave this are I'm enclosed within and only positive influence is able to enter.

It may also help to tell these entities that they cannot come to you when they wish, they can only come to you when you wish it.

Disclaimer: What I've said I mean as suggestions only. I don't intend for you to take any of this as instructions. What works for me may or may not work for you. I'm no "expert" at anything beyond pissing off my domestic partner,,, rather often. [confused] What I'm reading is a lot of confusion on your part which is totally understandable. You were led here for a reason. THAT is how it's supposed to work. For the moment, ignore what you are being told from the other side and give them in plain language the command to leave you the hell alone until you give them permission to speak,,, and mean it. Then sit yourself down and think about what makes sense to you. You're an adult, I assume and you have your own mind that is capable of rational thought. One goal in your life is to be happy. Right now you're not happy. Do what it takes to make you happy.

[grin] Thanks for the advice!

[Stukov]

Have you considered that your higher-self is trolling you? What I mean is, your higher self is you, and has your best interest in mind - being you, you also know how you work and will respond. With that being said, I could imagine a scenario where your higher self is using reverse psychology on you. Forcing you to fight for your free will in order to learn an important lesson about the future, predestination, and free will.

Edit* To put the above paragraph with a better example, in the Dune series one of the main characters realizes that the galaxy has become too ordered and stagnant, and the people have no desire for change or the desire to exercise free will, always taking comfort-ability over unknown of not knowing the future and being free to make any choice you want. To change this he comes into power and is a ruthless dictator, squashing everyone's freedoms and liberties (while simultaneously starting and helping a group of freedom fighters that will won day rise against him, even kill him in an assassination). In the end of that part of the story he dies with the people of the galaxy tired of the power and control and having the desire for freedom and the will to actually fight for it.

The way I see it you may have been going down a path where you was too willing to listen to the advice of others and in order to break you of that habit and instead go for what you want, your higher self did reverse psych on you and trolled you into telling you what you had to do, so you would get pissed off and do what you want (and remember that for the future). /endedit

The second possibility is that, when you came into this life you had a plan, but once you became human and was limited in your experiences and memories, you diverged greatly from your original personality, causing you to have a different opinion and desires. This causes the "plan" you had to be out of whack. In this scenario you are pretty much at war with yourself and may end up with you "splitting" from your higher-self and becoming a new being unto yourself.

You also have to be wary of hijackers listening and broadcasting down the line that connects you to your higher self. Its like being out in a park trying to have a conversation while strangers or creepers keep coming by and yelling in your ear while you are trying to talk to someone else. It might sound like one being, but your higher self could say a few things, then have other hijackers coming online trolling you and giving you shit advice.

[Occultess]

Have you considered that your higher-self is trolling you? What I mean is, your higher self is you, and has your best interest in mind - being you, you also know how you work and will respond. With that being said, I could imagine a scenario where your higher self is using reverse psychology on you. Forcing you to fight for your free will in order to learn an important lesson about the future, predestination, and free will.

Edit* To put the above paragraph with a better example, in the Dune series one of the main characters realizes that the galaxy has become too ordered and stagnant, and the people have no desire for change or the desire to exercise free will, always taking comfort-ability over unknown of not knowing the future and being free to make any choice you want. To change this he comes into power and is a ruthless dictator, squashing everyone's freedoms and liberties (while simultaneously starting and helping a group of freedom fighters that will won day rise against him, even kill him in an assassination). In the end of that part of the story he dies with the people of the galaxy tired of the power and control and having the desire for freedom and the will to actually fight for it.

The way I see it you may have been going down a path where you was too willing to listen to the advice of others and in order to break you of that habit and instead go for what you want, your higher self did reverse psych on you and trolled you into telling you what you had to do, so you would get pissed off and do what you want (and remember that for the future). /endedit

The second possibility is that, when you came into this life you had a plan, but once you became human and was limited in your experiences and memories, you diverged greatly from your original personality, causing you to have a different opinion and desires. This causes the "plan" you had to be out of whack. In this scenario you are pretty much at war with yourself and may end up with you "splitting" from your higher-self and becoming a new being unto yourself.

You also have to be wary of hijackers listening and broadcasting down the line that connects you to your higher self. Its like being out in a park trying to have a conversation while strangers or creepers keep coming by and yelling in your ear while you are trying to talk to someone else. It might sound like one being, but your higher self could say a few things, then have other hijackers coming online trolling you and giving you shit advice.

I have considered the possibility that it was to get me to fight. It's hard to come to final conclusions, though. There's a lot of different possible scenarios. But which one is really the truth?

There are a lot of people, though, that do have this whole running my life thing. So, it is entirely possilble that that is it. Perhaps I do need to fight for my freedom. But I'm not sure it explains that whole.....I mean, one day, after I had resisted what they said a while, I could feel something......like it was going into my mind and my thoughts were changing. It was (to me) like, "If we can't get you to listen to us, then we're just going to change your mind for you.". Heck, maybe they just wanted me to work reallllly hard at going against them....I don't know. But it seemed a pretty extreme measure. Ofcouse I don't entirely know it was any of them, but it seemed to be involved with what they were so adamant about, so I figure that it probably was, anyway.

And in terms of the telling me who to be with thing. It wasn't just telling me, "No you can't be with him, you have to be with this other guy." Well, I guess that was part of it, but...it was like, "If this one finds out that you don't have his heart, he will be lost without you." And also told me he would, basically, kill himself. And told me if I was with the other guy, I'd never be happy. And I don't think that was, I wouldn't be happy with him, it was more like, I would never ever ever ever ever EEEEEVVER be happy. And that (the one who would kill himself) I should hope that his sleep is forgetful, because.....errrm, (ironically I forgot how she put the rest of this, but basically, if he could remember that I didn't have his heart in his death sleep it would be....well painful and suck, obviously). Then, not getting anywhere with me, getting out the big guns, another spirit showed up ond day (a god, no less).

He told me how horrible I was to the one I love in my past lives. I think even that I"d be like that to him now, too. I wish it wasn't true that I was like that to him, but it does appear to be the case. I mean, even The Rogue fell silent when I asked him about it, like he didn't want to answer me. I'd do anything not to hurt him again. It still brings me to tears. The god did try to comfort me and tell me I wasn't myself back then. Then he told my I would deteriorate his health with my cooking. But I said, well couldn't I just cook different food for him? (It wasn't a quality issue, it was what I was cooking) and he agreed. Then he said I would kill him with.....ehhh...the lust of past relationships....or something like that. Never understood what he meant by that. Then said something about me killing all of my relationships with lust. At some point, (I think it might have been after the hurting him thing, but, maybe it wasn't) I was almost going to cave. Maybe I would not be with him for his own good. He said something about him having a wife and that she would treat him well. That sounded good. I asked if he would be happy. He said, no, because he wouldn't be with me. I just couldn't bare the thought of him not being happy.

According to him, he loves me truly, but for me, it's all in my head. He did remark, though,"He is your everything." In the end, I said that I just had to follow my heart and his response was, "You will." I'm not sure he meant "You will follow what's in your heart and it will be exactly what we said it was." or "You will, because I know you've made up your mind." Either way, his conversation went more reasonably, I thought. He talked to me for like..8 hours and I cried my little eyes out, but in the end I think we reached some sort of an understanding. I don't think he's one to harp and I haven't seen him since. He seemed cool.

As for that second possiblilty you posed, well,.....that's true to a point. I didn't change my desires or purposfully throw myself off track. That wonderful little act was done for me. I am actually quite miserable because my plan never got to come into being, but those were things I actually did want. I will just skip over my own personal opinions as to why this happened and tell you what my Higher Self said about it.

According to her, it was my father. She said when I was very small (before the age of 4) he had a dream (or maybe it was more than one *shrug*). Anyway, this dream was one of a more or less prophetic nature and revealed to him something that I would do in my life time. This thing, however, was not going to bode well for him (or atleast he didn't think so). So, then he came up with a plan to make sure I could never do this thing. Unfortunately for me, he figured if I ever succeeded at much of anything in my life, I could do it and he'd be screwed, so.....he decided the best plan of action was to sabotage my whole entire life. From early childhood on. *fun*.

"In every way he is the start of your illegitimate life." - my Higher Self

She said he started with my understanding of having his love and not having his love. He used this to make me hate all that I loved. She said he hated me having friends I liked, having wigs, and having the prettiness of true Druids in my eyes. She said he even sabotaged my mom, because she wanted to be a marine biologist, but that would have brought in more money into the family and then she could have had enough to pay for all the classes and things I wanted/needed. That would have lead to my success. *this is a skill of his. using psychology as a weapon.*

When I was 17, the final blow came. Because, apparently, I'm a complete idiot, I decided to tell him I could talk to spirits. Apparently I could have made it out with something good had I not done this, but...I did. Initially, he said he doubted that I was talking to spirits and that it was probably just my Higher Self. He said, though, that he knew this priest that studies demonology for the church (basically, he'd be an excorsist). He told me if I gave him some samples of my spirit writing that he'd bring it to said priest and the priest would tell him if I was really talking to spirits or not. I gave him some samples and never heard back about it. I asked once at some point and dad said he hadn't received word back from the priest yet, but....I don't know. According to my Higher Self, the priest now knows my future destiny and this, not because of the writings, but because dad told the priest, but...it was atleast my understanding that this happened because the priest confirmed that they were spirits. I could be wrong here, though. Anyway, though my dad never told me what the priest said, he's eventually telling me that he wants me to stop talking to spirits. He sites worrying for my safety, because I didn't know how to protect myself. I doubt this was the real reason. If that was it, he would have made sure I learned. He also told me that if I did it anyway, he'd could look into my eyes and tell that I did. So,...I stopped. This messed me up spiritually for a long time.

I think this came along about the time I was supposed to start Magick lessons. I told him I was interested and he knew a witch, so he set up a teacher/student for me. I never got to have one lesson, though. My mom wanted me to wait until summer vacation so that it wouldn't interfere with my schoolwork (I don't know if that's realllly the reason, but that's what she said). I'm fuzzy on the timing of these events, but I think the most sense is that the spirit thing came in the wait for the magick lessons and this just wound up giving dad another opportunity to psy-op me out of magick lessons, too. I know, anyway, that he told me at some point that the woman who was going to be my teacher didn't really like me. Because she was morbidly obese and I was skinny and she tends to hate/be jealous of skinny people. Well, however it happened,....no magick lessons.

At some point, I don't know when, my Higher Self said that my dad decided to look for a back up plan. Just in case. This back up plan was doing this thing where you can look and see if someone is going to have kids or not on me. If I was going to have kids, he was going to use them to blackmail me into not doing this thing that it was my destiny to do. He was going to hurt them, because that would in turn hurt me and he could say something like, "I'll stop hurting them if you don't do it."

And, although it seems to have stopped, she said that in more recent times, he called on his....I'm not really sure what the term would be. It would be the children that you have in your original form as a being at all. Whatever they would be called, he apparently had them doing stuff over where I live now to influence people and make sure that I couldn't leave. Her words, "He directs his kids to direct you to live horridly with Mother's boyfriend. You deserve better."

Basically, my dad went Balor of the Evil Eye on me.

I've got to disagree with that my Higher Self if me, though. I mean, that might be how it's supposed to be generally with that name being used, but I think she actually specifically told me she's someone else. Or atleast, maybe an "Are you me?" , "No.".

Never thought of hijackers, but I think I do see what you mean. Good to know that happens sometimes.

You've made some really good points, Stukov. Thanks!

[Stukov]

I had a bunch of stuff whirling around in my head reading all that, but I need some markers to try to align things correctly.

1) Your "destined/past love", do you know this man in person? Have you met him?
2) Who was the god that came and spoke to you, or did you just call him "the rogue"? If you know no name, please describe his looks/features/mannerisms.
3) If there are those "interfering" with your free will, I may be able to assist you, however I would need a picture of what you look like, or a detailed description (both physically you and your astral/higher self) as I don't want to bump the wrong persons head, also any animals you are connected with (or ones you change into)
4) Could you explain a little more (maybe just more clearly) about your "children", as I assume you meant the kids you had in past lives?
5) Does your father have any sort of training, knowledge, or ability in the "occult"? Is he still in your life right now?

[adawehi]

This is my humble opinion. The statement "he's going to kill himself if he doesn't have you" sounds like something high school kids and guys that can't take no for an answer come up with. To be a bit more blunt,,,, horseshit. If someone truly is going to go to that extreme, you really don't want anything to do with them to begin with because they'll be very controlling, extreme;y jealous and refuse the psychiatric help they need to begin with.

You stated your able to speak with those in the spirit world. I've just recently moved to that level. I've however been interpreting dreams for several years. I started in my late teens and I'm 57 now sooooo. Same thing really just in a different way. I'm still wagering you're being played and not by your higher self.

The higher self is also in control of your dreams. Not once have I ever encountered reverse psychology coming from the other side or in the event a higher self was giving a warning or sign of some kind. It's entirely possible to speak with your higher self and know for sure. It's a simple technique I use. Shield yourself, get in a relaxed state with your eyes closed and talk politely to your higher self and no one else. Ask to see him/her and ask how best to communicate with him/her.

I believe you're also over analyzing and allowing yourself to become confused to the point you can't make a decision for fear it will be the wrong decision. No matter what you do you're going to make the wrong decision sooner or later. It happens. No one is perfect,,, we just all want to be.

Re: the abuse received as a child. One can learn to not allow that to influence ones life to a large extent. Not all of it, but a large amount of it. Care to see the scars I carry from boiling water dumped on me or the scars from objects used to "discipline" or punish me when I was a kid? At times I wasn't sure if my name was Bob, you little bastard or you little prick. I have two adult children and the daughter received two spankings in her growing up years and the boy received one. Kids can be reasoned with if given the chance. No reason whatsoever to beat them. What I have that is "abnormal" is a very short fuse, a willingness to "step outside" at the drop of a hat and can only relate to women who have also been abused. I also have a CCDW, am never unarmed and hold two black belts. NO ONE will ever lay their hands on me again.

[Stukov]

This is my humble opinion. The statement "he's going to kill himself if he doesn't have you" sounds like something high school kids and guys that can't take no for an answer come up with. To be a bit more blunt,,,, horseshit. If someone truly is going to go to that extreme, you really don't want anything to do with them to begin with because they'll be very controlling, extreme;y jealous and refuse the psychiatric help they need to begin with.

To play devils advocate here a bit, yeah, in terms of how humans behave this makes perfect sense. Change it to when you are dealing spirits and past lives and it can be a bit different. Imagine you spent lifetimes upon lifetimes in love with someone and amidst trying to protect them, you end up getting locked away in a deep void of a dungeon. Eventually you escape, but not before your loved one has been reborn, so you follow after. However once you are both of age, they doesnt want you, you did everything for them and suffered in a pit of hell for a long ass time, and they has forgotten you.

You don't think that being in that situation, living, just doesn't sound as appealing?

You stated your able to speak with those in the spirit world. I've just recently moved to that level. I've however been interpreting dreams for several years. I started in my late teens and I'm 57 now sooooo. Same thing really just in a different way. I'm still wagering you're being played and not by your higher self.

The higher self is also in control of your dreams. Not once have I ever encountered reverse psychology coming from the other side or in the event a higher self was giving a warning or sign of some kind. It's entirely possible to speak with your higher self and know for sure. It's a simple technique I use. Shield yourself, get in a relaxed state with your eyes closed and talk politely to your higher self and no one else. Ask to see him/her and ask how best to communicate with him/her.

It is entirely dependent on each individual, and what your personality is prepared to do. Your higher-self can lie to you, if there is a part of your personality (or in this case your higher-self's personality) that finds no fault in lying to you to either protect you (keep you alive), give you what you want, or accomplish a mission you came here for.

I believe you're also over analyzing and allowing yourself to become confused to the point you can't make a decision for fear it will be the wrong decision. No matter what you do you're going to make the wrong decision sooner or later. It happens. No one is perfect,,, we just all want to be.

I don't disagree that it sounds all confusing, but it all could make sense in her head, but I think we all can assist in sorting it all out and simplifying the core of the problem and what the true choices are.

Re: the abuse received as a child. One can learn to not allow that to influence ones life to a large extent. Not all of it, but a large amount of it. Care to see the scars I carry from boiling water dumped on me or the scars from objects used to "discipline" or punish me when I was a kid? At times I wasn't sure if my name was Bob, you little bastard or you little prick. I have two adult children and the daughter received two spankings in her growing up years and the boy received one. Kids can be reasoned with if given the chance. No reason whatsoever to beat them. What I have that is "abnormal" is a very short fuse, a willingness to "step outside" at the drop of a hat and can only relate to women who have also been abused. I also have a CCDW, am never unarmed and hold two black belts. NO ONE will ever lay their hands on me again.

I lecture people all the time about how violence (with minor exception light spanking on very young children) does not produce children that "behave better", in fact all the evidence and research I've read and interviewed with, shows the complete opposite.

[adawehi]

To play devils advocate here a bit, yeah, in terms of how humans behave this makes perfect sense. Change it to when you are dealing spirits and past lives and it can be a bit different.

Let's go with your theory. If there is someone who was a flame in several past lives, wouldn't it only make sense that she would be drawn to him now and vice versa? She however isn't. She is being told to go with someone who doesn't give her the level of satisfaction she is looking for. Who is telling her this? We dunno. Someone who says they are one thing and then shows they aren't, at least to me.

Again, not once have I encountered the subconscious attempting to use something that could backfire like reverse psychology. Pictograms/dreams yes. Extremely often. Speech yes, again often. Trying to play Sigmund Freud,,, never.

She also owes no one anything, only herself so guilt trips shouldn't ever be an issue to have to overcome. It sounds cold and callous but it isn't her function or anyone elses to be at the beck and call as well as whim of anyone or anything. If someone wants to off themselves because they didn't get the girl, sorry, past lives or not they're a nut case.

I'm led to believe by my "conversations" with those on the other side, we really aren't interested in reincarnating just to do a rerun. We'll hang around on the other side for a hundred or so years, get bored and reincarnate just to change the pace for awhile and maybe see what we can learn or experience.

I don't know of any other way to put it but being reincarnated just to do reruns gives me the mental impression of being condemned to watch I Love Lucy reruns for the rest of my life. That in itself would be grounds for committing suicide.

Edit: One more point if I may. What is a good way to ground oneself and drive away negative influence? Laughing,,, happiness. What is the advice being given to her do? It makes her confused and question herself. She's not happy anymore and it seems she sure isn't in a laughing mood right now.

[Stukov]

To play devils advocate here a bit, yeah, in terms of how humans behave this makes perfect sense. Change it to when you are dealing spirits and past lives and it can be a bit different.

Let's go with your theory. If there is someone who was a flame in several past lives, wouldn't it only make sense that she would be drawn to him now and vice versa? She however isn't. She is being told to go with someone who doesn't give her the level of satisfaction she is looking for. Who is telling her this? We dunno. Someone who says they are one thing and then shows they aren't, at least to me.

I believe you are miss-extrapolating my note about less judgement of the supposed individual to whom you said was acting like a teenage to the behavior she should employ and the righteousness of those who are telling her which behavior she should take. Whether the story of the past uber lover is true or not, that story is separate than those actors telling her how she should act based on this story.

At most I was saying to you, consider the perspective of this supposed lover, not consider the truthfulness of these actors claims.

Again, not once have I encountered the subconscious attempting to use something that could backfire like reverse psychology. Pictograms/dreams yes. Extremely often. Speech yes, again often. Trying to play Sigmund Freud,,, never.

Since you use the word "subconscious" you and I could be talking about different things, and yet again, as I said, even if we are talking about the same thing, different people have different personalities and their motivations and actions may be different.

She also owes no one anything, only herself so guilt trips shouldn't ever be an issue to have to overcome. It sounds cold and callous but it isn't her function or anyone elses to be at the beck and call as well as whim of anyone or anything. If someone wants to off themselves because they didn't get the girl, sorry, past lives or not they're a nut case.

Of course she owes no one anything, I don't think I said anything of the contrary. Ignoring past lives, have you ever seen in person, or in story, those couples who in love where one goes off to war or prison? How the one who goes to survive the horrors and depravity of war/prison, then how strongly they hold onto that memory of their loved one in order to survive and stay sane? While their lover back home continues on with their life with the comfort of normalcy and as time goes on, moves on. Either losing the love they once had or finding another to substitute. So when you escape or the war ends, you return, only to find the one thing you cared about, clung to, and gave you hope is no longer waiting for you. So all the despair you shoved down inside you to make it through suddenly floods to the surface and the world seems pointless and meaningless. Why survive such horrors only to return to find the one thing that could have made it all tolerable, gone? Surely you can understand how someone could be lost without their past love, in this life, or in another.

It doesn't mean she owes it to be with him, nor that she should listen to these whispers in her ears, but a "screw you, you're crazy" might not be the most suitable response.

I'm led to believe by my "conversations" with those on the other side, we really aren't interested in reincarnating just to do a rerun. We'll hang around on the other side for a hundred or so years, get bored and reincarnate just to change the pace for awhile and maybe see what we can learn or experience.

For some, quite certainly the truth. Refreshing to hear someone who knows of it.

I don't know of any other way to put it but being reincarnated just to do reruns gives me the mental impression of being condemned to watch I Love Lucy reruns for the rest of my life. That in itself would be grounds for committing suicide.

What matters is if you have the choice to come back. Some do, some don't. Some want to return and are denied. Freedom and control is an issue and one to be soon fought over.

Edit: One more point if I may. What is a good way to ground oneself and drive away negative influence? Laughing,,, happiness. What is the advice being given to her do? It makes her confused and question herself. She's not happy anymore and it seems she sure isn't in a laughing mood right now.

Negative isn't always bad, we all need balance. Sometimes we have done things and to deal with them isn't a pretty, fun, or happy endeavor. It does not give validity to the whispers in her ears, in either voice or intent, but there may be wisdom in trying to resolve the issue, both for her and for the speculated him.