my current fascination is with Diogenes. Apparently he lived in a jar, people call me jar for short. A majority of people also think I'm crazy or simply do not know what to think of what I have to say.
This is Diogenes searching for an honest man. It's interesting to me how he searches for proof of honesty in broad daylight whilst holding a lamp. It seems like he is mocking hypocrisy. As a cynic, it would not surprise me.
The biggest one for me though is my avatar, a cropped version of this.
About 7 years ago, I thought it would be a good idea to quit sneering altogether. It seemed like the emotion harbored many harmful things like pride, prejudice, grief, denial, and fear among another things. It took me about 3 years to quit. there were many things that I had to absolve within my mind. Afterwards, I find this picture of Anubis, and I immediately identified with it, it seemed to represent the act of what I did over those three years. Even the name, Anubis, said to translate to "he who sits upon his mountain which underscores the importance for the protection of the dead and deceased" seemed to relate to my mentality. I saw it, and it seemed to grow an aura, and I felt so powerful, but at the same time slightly fearful for what may come.
Awhile later, I decided to draw him from memory with artistic license. 3 years of my life represented in a single picture. It provoked a series of astral projections over the course of 3 days. A storm came in the cove that looked like an artist's representation of Hell coming to greet me. A heavy fog soon followed and I felt as if I had all the souls of man within me. So powerful, so dominant. Random onlookers looked at me as if they knew, they were so afraid.
Tbh, I don't know if I'll ever know for sure what exactly happened during that time.
I would never ask for anyone to believe me on the matter. I don't need anyone to believe I experienced these things.
I would never want anyone to praise me, or to suggest that I ignore the naysayers.
what I do not know, I do not think I know
~Socrates
