Reconnecting with my guardian/protection against deceitful e

[Reiku]

Hi,

My mother is an energy worker (Reiki, Shambhalla healing, Healing/therapeutic touch, quantum touch, some ayurvedic stuff, yoga & qi gong), so I was brought up with spirituality, perception of energy as second nature, etc... She gave me a lot of guided meditations when I was very young.

At one point I met a spiritual guide or animal totem of some sort. At first it appeared as the image of a horse, but then came to me in my dreams as a large calm, gentle but powerful wolf who led me on a journey spanning a few months of continuing dreams. At one point the wolf reached a town with me and suggested we part ways as the people in this town seemed to know him.

I had not had any experiences of him for many years until my Reiki initiation, where I couldn't climb the mountain. He came to let me ride to the top on his back. Once on the flat platform top of the mountain, I was surrounded by what I could only assume were my reiki guides, however I couldn't look at their faces; it was like my eyes as their faces had a reverse magnetism. The wolf left me there, looked back and leapt off the mountain into the forest below.

Something about the Reiki guides didn't feel right to me and in the physical realm I kept feeling a presence before me, I peeked slightly a few times to see the shadow of a figure.

When the initiation was over, the candle that was placed before me was burnt to the base and the wax was pushed away from me hanging off the backside to the candle like iceicles. It had been burnt at least twice as much as the other initiates. On my way home I had the candle in the glove compartment of my car and I went to pick up a friend. As we sat in the car in the parking lot to smoke, he noticed that as the winter air fogged up the window, the area above the glove compartment wasn't fogging up completely and he noted that the pattern looked like some Oriental characters.

Since then I have become a shiatsu therapist as my fulltime profession and training Japanese Budo, each for nearly 10 years now. I meditate and do breathing exercises regularly and practice yoga on my own. I work with ki and meridians in my treatments, however I have largely abandoned my spirituality in an effort to conform & validate my healing work by scientific medical standards.

I feel like I have had a subconscious calling to return to my spirituality and a yearning to reconnect with the wolf and experience the spiritual realm.

I have also been lead to the sudden insight that my faith in God and ties to the catholic church have been holding me back as I have recently let go of my attachment to that faith and only good things have been happening. It's like I opened a dam.

I trust the wolf and I know he'll protect me. I want to make contact with him before getting into anything potentially dangerous.

I have recently made and used a pendulum and a spirit claiming to be my guardian daemon has made contact. It calls itself Kruzzynzy and says it serves a goetic demon with a 3 letter name but it won't spell it out for me and says no all the names I suggested. It also claims to be the same being as my guardian wolf. I asked it to visit me in my dreams and I think it has, but I can't remember any details of my dream.

I get a feeling that this "Kruzzynzy" might be trying to deceive me, or may just be teasing me, but on the other hand, I'm not sure if that's my intuition or my caution speaking.

So I would like to read any advice or insights regarding my story. I would also like to know how I can get in touch with that wolf guardian? How should I proceed safely with this Kruzzynzy spirit?

Thank you.

[Taeo]

I do not know about Kruzzynzy, nor do I know about the Goetia.


In the story you told, the Wolf and you split ways as you entered into the city because the people there seemed to know him. Could you elaborate more on this? I feel as though a piece of what you are looking for can be found at that point. I feel that this may be the divergence point from your spirituality. Sometimes we need to separate from something in order to grow and develop in a way that cannot be met with our current practices.

Why was it important that the people in that city knew of the wolf?

How did the wolf seem to feel about being known, and separating from you?


Later, the wolf introduced you to Reiki guides on the mountain and actually helped you reach that point, but left after looking back. I feel that the wolf also wishes to reunite with you in a meaningful way, but is respectful of your choices in life. Perhaps wolf's presence at this time would have been a distraction from your chosen fields of study and practice.

What emotion was conveyed with that look?

Why did the wolf leave again?

Is there any significance to the forest?

To reunite with the wolf spirit, retrace your steps. What did you do to first meet wolf? Do that. I feel that there is a chance you may not meet wolf there as you expect. As we develop in skill, our perceptions also change. It may be that you will need to learn how to perceive wolf in a new way. If you do not meet wolf there, I feel that you will find a clue or piece of information that will show you the way.

As I said, I do not have any advice for Kruzzynzy. Perhaps next time you meet this wolf, you may ask it.

[Reiku]

Thank you for your insights Taeo. Whenever I travelled with the wolf only I could hear him and his mouth never moved when he spoke, it was just open. When we reached this village, everybody knew him. I got the sense that this was his home, or he was needed there and I was expected to move on without him. The people just flocked to him, petting and greeting him.

I can't remember how I came to be with this wolf. I do remember by mother guiding me on a meditation to meet my spirit guide, which I first envisioned as a horse, but it was just a lifeless image. The wolf came to me first in my dreams and again at my attunement.
He was very calm when the people came and their greeting was well received. Our parting was a silent mutual understanding.

When he left me at the mountain top with the reiki guides, the look was an attentive look like he wanted to stay but couldn't. I'm not sure he was welcome there by the guides.

The forest was just all there was at the base of the mountain. I have a particular fondness for trees and forests but that might not mean anything.

I will continue to try meditations and invitations to me dreams. Any further interperetation would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

[Asurendra]

Hello Reiku,

I have knowledge and experience with these areas of both Shamanism and Goetia so I will offer you my opinions for your consideration.

First, three works that I recommend to you are:

http://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Spirit- ... irit+World

http://www.amazon.com/Way-Shaman-Michae ... man+harner

http://www.amazon.com/Shamanism-Spiritu ... l+practise

You can learn about the Totems and ways of Journeying to contact them. I don't know if Wolf is your primary totem or if this was simply a temporary manifestation to aid you at a particular point in your life. You can explore that issue with the resources above.

Next, about the pendulum. I use the pendulum and it is generally a link with your personal subconscious. It is possible to use as a form of Ouija board and if you do this is it best to make sure that you do so in a secure manner to prevent the sort of wandering crackpots that teenagers might end up with when they play with the Ouija board.

http://www.amazon.com/Pendulum-Magic-Be ... s=pendulum

Now regarding this Kruzzynzy; I think it is not a totem and is not Wolf. I would say that the totems do not generally contact people in this way but would do so in a more visionary manner. This is based on my experience and reading but in itself would not be solid enough to dismiss this claim by this entity. However, I would not believe it for the following reasons 1) the Totems do not have individual names and 2) totems have no connection to the Goetia.

So you have solid reasons for doubt that it is being honest (I am being diplomatic). If I had to venture a guess I wold say I doubt it is even in a legion of one of the demons of the Goetia. This could be a claim to make it seem more sexy than it actually may be, like a teenage boy who might claim to be a black belt when he has never set foot in a dojo.

My advise to you is to study the works I referenced and to find a cleansing ritual online that appeals to you so you can take control of your space. A regular banishing ritual of some sort might also be helpful.

[Reiku]

Thanks Asurendra,

I think I'll avoid contact with this Kruzzynzy. Perhaps it is a mischievous being fooling me, or my subconscious/superconscious.

Sounds like the wolf may have been a power animal. Thank you for the resources!