What do I do here??

[Tris3021]

Hi guys..

So.. I used to get bullied all the time back than as a kid.. It stopped after a while but I guess the bullying and social abuse from it just made me always seeking to make other people happy by being myself but it gets hard when I get one single person that rejects me for whatever reason.. I met a girl on some site, she said I was "pleasurable to talk to", and then she blocks me out of the blue [unsure].. I'm happy being me, I do have some friends that are always there for me, but for some reason I can't stop getting hurt when I talk to new people because I get rejected and then I think something is wrong with me or alot of people don't seem to like the wonderful amazing guy that I am even though I have loving friends that prove people do! But somehow I'm still feeling dissatisfied and I don't really know why.. I've really been deep into spirituality, the occult and anything else related to those.. I'm trying to let go of ego attachments and I'm trying to "ascend" into higher vibrations but for some reason this seems to be an area which I always seem to be struggling in and it always holds me down from achieving the very thing I want to do, which is let go of attachment!

[magari]

The first step is to see the path before you.

Having a map helps. I recommend the seven steps of alchemy.

Is it women you struggle with? Or letting go of some attachment? What are you trying to let go of? Women?

You'll never be able to fully let go of that. You are an animal and its in your DNA. You will have moments, but as long as your hormones are pumping your screwed.

I found the best way to take care of this is to become the Man you've always wanted to be instead of pretending to be him or glorifying yourself as you are now to make up for what you lack. Learning about women helps too. Its hard to satisfy someone's desires if you have no idea what they really want or looking for.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-juyEIgwhGQ

I dont commend the life of a pick up artist. However their perspective can teach us a lot. Especially in a society that teaches us nothing.

[Desecrated]

Go and talk to a psychiatrist.

[Tris3021]

Ugh I should have explained more.. whatever.. what I meant by attachment is anything egotistical like seeking happiness out of a pure materialistic thing. I'm seeking happiness from making everyone else happy but myself. I want to help others and get others to like me for I am, but I guess I just have to live with being happy with myself instead of seeking gratification from others. I'm the only person I need to love me for who I am. I guess... just be myself, live in the moment, appreciate everything for what it is, and whoever is meant to stay with me will stay. It doesn't mean I'm the best person in the world however, I'm just trying to let go of that ego self that is being so toxic [neutral2] .

Desecrated, I understand your view of telling me to talk to a psychiatrist, I appreciate your concern there, but I didn't need one in this case. I'm learning more about myself and my spiritual side as I go through life, it never stops! Experience seems to be the best and even the most punishing teacher at times..

[Tris3021]

I guess the beliefs and actions that aren't suited for anyone (like me seeking happiness from other people) gets shaken to the core in a sense and tries forcing you to learn so you can expand and grow.

[Sypheara]

Seeking happiness from others is a one way trip to depression. Trust me in that.

Wanting to HELP others is a noble thing, but that should be its own reward, you shouldn't expect anything back nor rely on external validation for your actions.

Neither, if you develop a healthy ego, should that become necessary. That doesnt mean you shut yourself off from criticism, it just means you maintain a healthy self awareness.

[RoseRed]

What S said.

Also, a little bit in therapy could do you a world of good. These are issues that it's ok to ask for help to work out. That's what you're doing here. Getting past where you are now is an important life skill.

You do realize that the whole attainment thing you've got going on takes years, right? Like a lot of them.

[magari]

The biggest question might be;

Do YOU like who you are?

If not do something about it, but it sounds like you already are. Just maintain focus and you should be fine.