Serious Depression

[findingtruth]

Hey guys,

First, I'd like to clarify that it s not me who has depression, it's a friend of mine. He's been through a hell of a lot and doesn't see a way of getting back to normal. He's been suffering with this for many years now and when his dad found out (his dad also having bad depression) he asked his son, 15 at the time, if he wanted to commit suicide together. My friend said no (he now thinks he was selfish to do so) and not long after walked in on his dad who had taken a shotgun to his head...I mean how do you recover from seeing something like that? Anyway, he's done drugs in the past, k2, weed, huffed gasoline and paint thinner, so I worry how much damage those things had on his brain (well minus the weed). He won't talk to his psychiatrist because he's afraid he'll go back to the asylum (which he was sent to after his past attempt to kill himself). He makes excuses, and he's admitted to doing it, about why he can't buy healthy foods and so on. Oh, he's also 6 ft 5 in and weighs 140lbs and wants to get down to 135. I should also add that he was given up for adoption when he was born and that his adopted mother died which is when his adopted father got depressed which led to that horrible ending.

I'm attempting to at least get him into a positive, healthy habit, but it's very hard since he moved. Things I'm trying to do are: Yoga, simple meditations, a healthy diet, and herbal supplements like St. Johns Wort. He fights me every step of the way so I'm in need of some advice on if there's anything else I can do.

[Desecrated]

It's better to just drop him out of your life.
The whole situation just sounds like a waste of energy.

[grimmos]

mods did you put the 40 big bang boxes feading ground safe from admids because I can do it again if you wish

[Clockwork Ghost]

I'm attempting to at least get him into a positive, healthy habit, but it's very hard since he moved. Things I'm trying to do are: Yoga, simple meditations, a healthy diet, and herbal supplements like St. Johns Wort. He fights me every step of the way so I'm in need of some advice on if there's anything else I can do.

Sadly, there isn't really anything you can do for him if he won't help himself. Just being his friend is great - he probably relies on you much more than he likes to admit. Just be there for him in whatever capacity you can, but be careful not to let his illness make you sick too.

[manonthepath]

The hard truth to accept is that the only person's life you have any shot at controlling is your own. Often people seek to intervene in the business of others as an avanue to escape facing one's own demons. I don't say this is you, but you might want to take a deep look inside before such behaviors fuck your life up. You need to fix yourself. This is enough of a full-time job for anyone.

[manofsands]

Sounds like a life lesson... so many forces are pushing him down the same dark alley. Do what you feels you should do with him but don't take on any of his darkness for yourself, don't take any responsibility for him, but if you feel moved to help or lend support, do so, but you may want to shield yourself or at least approach it all in a somewhat disconnected fashion. My 2¢

[findingtruth]

Thanks for the replies guys, I really care about him and wish to try to help him, but I do repeatedly tell him that he's the only one who's going to help himself. I'm not exactly "disconnected" when trying to help him, but I've been fairly successful at not allowing his negativity influence me. I'm moving out of state which is causing me some stress, but I realize that it's my own and not his.

[manonthepath]

Moving away is a good thing. Focus on yourself and all the wonderful opportunities that lie ahead for you.