Life in the Shadow of Death

[minervajane]

I've been wondering lately about the effects living with or spending lots of time around people and/or animals who are sick and dying might have on people, especially sensitives. What started me thinking about this was a few different things:
1.) I've been staying with my elderly father since his wife died 3 years ago. He had taken care of her for almost 3 years while she died of cancer. Ever since I've been around him I've felt some serious darkness, opression and a massive drain of my energy.

2.)Something I read in a Taoist Canon (Orthodox Taoist Canon 0018):
"In a meat eater's body, the three palaces are turbid, and the six viscera are defiled, the dark souls (PUG) of the dead bodies (that he ate) are exciting and thriving, and are always willing to guide him to the place of death."

3.)There is an old belief where I come from that if a person is dying, the plants around the property or in the house will die or get sick, and nothing the person tried to grow will thrive. I've seen this seem to happen.

So my questions are
1.)Does anyone have any thoughts on the energctic effects of living with the dying? Obviously, there is a continual wearing down for any caretaker, but I'm thinking about the more subtle effects. For instance, if a person is desperately clinging to life, do you think that can result to something similar to an energy vampire on overdrive?

2.) Do any of you think there is some type of death force? I know Shinichi does not, and his explanation makes perfect sense:

"...For those of us who are clearly sensitive to and Aware of the Life Force in outselves and everything around us, for example, there's a difference between a fresh vibrant salad and an apple that's been left on the counter to rot. The fresh vegetables are still "alive," and they possess a certain amount of Life Force still. A rotten apple still possesses a certain Energy, but it's no longer a "Life" Force. It's more of a...miasma. There were some Necromancers a while back who called it Death Essence, but it's basically just Life Force expressed in a different way. Where there is Light, there is Shadow; where there is Life, there is Death."

Are there some types of entropic forces/energies/beings in the Universe which pulls people towards death, self-destruction, and/or suffering?

Perhaps the term "Death's Shadow" is more appropriate than Death force for what I'm experiencing. Any thoughts, references to info, opinions, suggestions, etc, are appreciated. I think I'm in this for the long haul and I have no relatives to help. I also have a really old dog with multiple health issues but I don't feel any drain from him.
Hope this makes sense and thank you all.

[Clockwork Ghost]

2.) Do any of you think there is some type of death force? I know Shinichi does not, and his explanation makes perfect sense:

"...For those of us who are clearly sensitive to and Aware of the Life Force in outselves and everything around us, for example, there's a difference between a fresh vibrant salad and an apple that's been left on the counter to rot. The fresh vegetables are still "alive," and they possess a certain amount of Life Force still. A rotten apple still possesses a certain Energy, but it's no longer a "Life" Force. It's more of a...miasma. There were some Necromancers a while back who called it Death Essence, but it's basically just Life Force expressed in a different way. Where there is Light, there is Shadow; where there is Life, there is Death."

Are there some types of entropic forces/energies/beings in the Universe which pulls people towards death, self-destruction, and/or suffering?

Perhaps the term "Death's Shadow" is more appropriate than Death force for what I'm experiencing. Any thoughts, references to info, opinions, suggestions, etc, are appreciated. I think I'm in this for the long haul and I have no relatives to help. I also have a really old dog with multiple health issues but I don't feel any drain from him.
Hope this makes sense and thank you all.

It ultimately depends on what paradigms you support or believe in. The Ghede could be said to be a 'death force', though it's a bit more complex than that. There are plenty of magical and religious systems out there, and death has always held a lot of power over people due to its hidden mysteries. Goes without saying that death would have its own spiritual forces attached to it in some way in most traditions.

[RoseRed]

I spent a year running between hospitals, ICUs and nursing homes with my Mother last year.

Yes, I do believe that some of the dying are so desperate to stay alive (for whatever reason) that they can and do leech energy from the living. I worked extensively with different shielding techniques until I found what worked for me.

Also, being a caretaker can run you straight into the ground if you don't make caring for yourself a priority. Learned that the hard way.

I can't comment on the meat eating thing but with all of those I've been around while dying - I never noticed the plant thing.

Questions:

I don't know if I'd call it a death force but there is something very different than those that are not on their deathbeds. I think some people exude that force more than others.

I'm a firm believer in psy/energy vamps, so my answer to that is absolutely. I saw it up close and personal when my BFFs MIL was dying.

I think that there are all sorts of forces that pull and push people towards things. I also believe in Fate and Destiny and Free Will to an extent. I think that the gods, Powers that be, Universe, whatever you want to call it, etc - yeah. Some people are pulled toward self destruction. Some that are dying are pulled closer to Death.

I'm the only one, too. My daughter recently brought home her 10 year old dog with multiple health issues as well. My Mom is the Oncologists Dream - she lived thru treatment and got her 2nd chance. All the dog wants is to be loved and comforted. My Mother would like to live forever. She'll be a Clinger when she dies. So not looking forward to it. I'm sure you're not either.

You have my deepest and most sincere condolences on your life situation right now. I know how difficult it is.

[minervajane]

I will read up on the Ghede, Clockwork. Thanks for the comment.

My sympathies to you as well, RoseRed and thanks so much for the reply. The "death force" thought might be somewhat overdramatic, but it has felt like that at times. My father is very melancholoy (not to mention controlling, aspergers, and extremely eccentric), though, which has to have lots to do with that feeling. I've also gone through lots of shielding techniques. When I first got here I became ill many times (digestion, panic attacke, etc) and he was definately pulled toward destruction. Everything he said was negative and a lot of what he did seemed to be subconsiously bent toward error and destruction. He believes in nothing so thinks that when he dies, he just is no more. I know that is worrying him but I can't convince him otherwise.

It is lots better here now after many clearings/banishings and efforts to keep the energy level high. I have tendencies toward depression, too, so it's double duty. I'm currently toying with Dzochgen meditation which is a 180 from shielding and uses the concept of acceptance and spaciousness. Metta meditation and yoga have also helped. I feel like I have to work much harder to keep up my strength, mentally and physically. Walks with the dog help, too, although he can't walk too far these days...

The thought of our parents dying while alone is not pleasant. I hope providence will step in for us and somehow make it better than our fears. My thoughts will be with you:)

[manonthepath]

Nutrition is really important here. You may want to see an acupuncturist and herbalist. Frustration damages the liver and impairs function of the orbis energy This can manifest in occipital headaches, ringing of the ears, poor digestion as well as other stuff. The ethereal spirit moves around constantly and rests little. This causes other complications. Spend the money on an acupuncturist. Money sunk into a terminally ill patient is ill used if it takes away funds you ned to take care of yourself.

[minervajane]

Nutrition is really important here. You may want to see an acupuncturist and herbalist. Frustration damages the liver and impairs function of the orbis energy This can manifest in occipital headaches, ringing of the ears, poor digestion as well as other stuff. The ethereal spirit moves around constantly and rests little. This causes other complications. Spend the money on an acupuncturist. Money sunk into a terminally ill patient is ill used if it takes away funds you ned to take care of yourself.

I failed to mention that we are in the middle of nowhere. It's two hours to an acupuncturist or anything, really, but next time I have a chance I will do that. Frustration is definitaly the right word and I did not know of a connection with the liver. . . . I have been having ringing in my ears. Thank you.

Edit...Okay, I looked up liver and frustration. Maybe some Qi Gong would help.

[manonthepath]

Drink plenty of fluids and try to eat foods that won't constipate you and eat small portions. If things seem to be impairing your ability to digest food this might help. Stress can also mess with your cycle. Try to see a professional acupuncturist as I suggested. When you go try to make a list of your symptoms so you won't leave stuff out when they do the intake. Details are important especially if you can't get in regularly. good luck to you.

[minervajane]

Could the Qliphoth be concidered agents of death? My understanding of kabala is limited.

BTW, my digestion is under control now. I did start drinking lots of water and lots of green smoothies. Healthwise, I'm mostly okay now. It's still just such an emotional/energetic drain.

[RoseRed]

It is. So is putting yourself first so that you can care for everyone else.

It's ok to pamper yourself. Who else is going to do it?

I need to get back into my Susun Weed style infusions. Herbal and nutritional support can be so helpful. And I know it - I just need to do it. Have you tried those at all?

I'm ready to dive headfirst into a giant cheesecake today. Some days are brighter than others.

Do you have any crystal work going on to help support your energies?

[minervajane]

I grow and use herbs in tea and smoothies, but haven't tried infusions. I do have a huge cabinet of herbals and vitimins...so many I don't know which to take on a given day. Lately it's been sam-e for depression, Vit D and B complex (I'm vegetarian). I should take a multivitimin but I'm bad to skip that one. Sometimes gensing or ashwaghanda.
I haven't tried crystals at all. Thank you, thanks you! I will do some research on using crystals and infusions.
I've discovered it is really hard to meditate in a place where your are not comfortable. I started yoga and painting as alternate ways of meditation...a little qigong sometimes.
I've tried to make my little room here as comfy as possible. The whole rest of the house and even the outside (except for my little greenhouse and where I have my herbs) is very much his domain and he is very controlling about his environment (OCPD). He isn't bedridden, just has dementia, his mind comes and goes and he is deaf. Physically, he gets around....I really miss my house. Almost impossible to relax here.

You're right, some days are better than others. Some days I honestly don't know how much longer I can take it. I know if I left him, he would go insane. If I stay, I might!

[RoseRed]

This has been a very difficult Season of the Dark this year - for many people. It is so nice now that it's staying lighter later. I walked out of the store and the sun was still out! It was AWESOME!

That's so cool that you grown your own herbs. My Beloved is amazing with plants. I usually kill them so it's best if I let him garden. [thumbup] It can be a little tight inside the house. I'm glad that you have actual spots that are all yours. Those are really important.

I know what you mean. I think my favorite one is "It's your fault because you told the Dr. the truth." Yup - that's my fav.

So, I ended up with Breyers Reeses and a Gelato. I couldn't pick just one and the cheesecakes didn't look very appetizing LOL. And the cartons are smaller than they used to be! When did they do that?

[manonthepath]

I grow and use herbs in tea and smoothies, but haven't tried infusions. I do have a huge cabinet of herbals and vitimins...so many I don't know which to take on a given day. Lately it's been sam-e for depression, Vit D and B complex (I'm vegetarian). I should take a multivitimin but I'm bad to skip that one. Sometimes gensing or ashwaghanda.
I haven't tried crystals at all. Thank you, thanks you! I will do some research on using crystals and infusions.
I've discovered it is really hard to meditate in a place where your are not comfortable. I started yoga and painting as alternate ways of meditation...a little qigong sometimes.
I've tried to make my little room here as comfy as possible. The whole rest of the house and even the outside (except for my little greenhouse and where I have my herbs) is very much his domain and he is very controlling about his environment (OCPD). He isn't bedridden, just has dementia, his mind comes and goes and he is deaf. Physically, he gets around....I really miss my house. Almost impossible to relax here.

You're right, some days are better than others. Some days I honestly don't know how much longer I can take it. I know if I left him, he would go insane. If I stay, I might!

You need to leave for your own sake. If he is a danger to himself and isn't there anymore mentally, it may be time to hand him off to the authorities. You have only one life so try not to fuck it up too badly.

[grimmos]

you giving me permission to have only one life think this very carefully several months ago I ordered from india hmm mabby arab country who knows mabby Vietnam a new clone because god said I had two weeks to live life became very serious so I suppose ill need to order enoughther eh

[RoseRed]

Not everyone has that luxury - errr, option. Especially, not when you're the only one.

But at some point - you're only human and being a Caregiver is a HUGE drain. Have you joined any caregiver forums or websites. i know they have specific for alzheimers/dementia forums and what not.

I follow this one on facebook https://www.facebook.com/TheCaregiverSpace?ref=br_tf . An acquaintance of mine is caring for her dying husband and they have some good stuff. It started showing up in my newsfeed so I checked it out.

grimmos - I don't understand most of your posts. And they can be taken in multiple ways.

We all have a breaking point. We can only do so much. Push ourselves so hard.

I have very specific goals. I've reached many of them and the ones that are left are big ones. I'll get there.

[minervajane]

RoseRed: I had a whole carton of raspberry yogurt and put all the marachino cherries I had on top for good measure after you mentioned cheesecake. Sugar does help the blues but not the waistline:) Maybe the longer days will help...nice thought. I do feel a little better today, and plan to take a few days with my dog away at a hotel, any hotel, even if it's just down the road. I did visit one caregiver site briefly. and should go back there. Sticking to my little rituals and trying to meditate each day even when it is difficult is a big help. Damn that laziness. I will also check out the FB page. Thanks for all your help and we will get through this. I'm looking at it like a challenge to discipline myself and hopefully make me stronger. It's forcing me to process a lot of anger and I know it has taught me a lot. It will make or break me, I suppose. But really, I've been through worse than this.

Oh, the doctor's visits....Nothing is ever wrong at the doctors but as soon as we get back he tells me all sorts of stuff. Whew!

Manopath: Yea, most of my friends tell me that. I just don't have the heart to do it. Couldn't live with myself, and he is okay a lot of the timie. In many ways I have it made here. I do have time to study all the things I've always wanted to...and paint.

Grimmos: I could use one of those. Let me know how it works out.

[RoseRed]

I think it's more the dairy than the sugar - but I do have a sweet tooth. I've lost 60 pounds with all of this going on. I look really good again - there are upsides to working this hard.

[grimmos]

Not everyone has that luxury - errr, option. Especially, not when you're the only one.

But at some point - you're only human and being a Caregiver is a HUGE drain. Have you joined any caregiver forums or websites. i know they have specific for alzheimers/dementia forums and what not.

I follow this one on facebook https://www.facebook.com/TheCaregiverSpace?ref=br_tf . An acquaintance of mine is caring for her dying husband and they have some good stuff. It started showing up in my newsfeed so I checked it out.

grimmos - I don't understand most of your posts. And they can be taken in multiple ways.

We all have a breaking point. We can only do so much. Push ourselves so hard.

I have very specific goals. I've reached many of them and the ones that are left are big ones. I'll get there.

multiple ways .... do you know red bull has wings and I heard you were a bully

[Clockwork Ghost]

Could the Qliphoth be concidered agents of death? My understanding of kabala is limited.

Nah, not really. The Qliphoth are just evil, they're not agents of death. They more represent a certain imperfection that offsets the Sephirah. Each Sephirah on the Tree of Life has a corresponding Qliphoth representation - for instance; where Kether represents Unity, Thamiel represents Division.

[minervajane]

Wow...I've been gone a while. ..been a long, cold winter...

Thanks for the reply Clockwork. That does help explain things for me and I have decided not to worry about anything evil or destructive....so much. Just keep then energy high, stay as strong as possible, and maintain a welcoming and compassionate attitude towards every living and nonliving thing.

RoseRed...That's a lot of weight to loose! Congrats! Hope things are going well for you.

[RoseRed]

Thanx, you too.