Confused

[E.]

Greetings to you all.

I have been on the path of mediation and discipline for a few years.
I found that according to Bardon's instructions I have been a step ahead.

Although disciplined I have been struggling as to why I have become a no nonsense straight shooter with the people I'm dealing with. Just recently I fired someone and I gave it no thought.

I'm afraid that I am becoming callous. I don't mean to hurt people but I think I am.
Why am I becoming this way? To me it's nothing personal but maybe to someone else it is.
I've been careful with controlling my mind.
Is it just a side of my character?

Any thoughts or suggestions?

I've had no problems meditating. Maybe I've been overlooking something that you can point out.

Anyway thanks for reading this.
Good day and night to all,
E.

[Desecrated]

Why do you think meditation is the cause of this?

[Shinichi]

The deeper you go into the practice of Meditation, the more you unravel your mental tangles and tear down your psychological blocks, the more you will reveal your strongest character traits - who you really are behind the unconsciously fake smiles and handshakes.

This is why Bardon teaches Introspection and Character Development in Step 1. If you take a real long hard look at yourself and see things you don't like, transmute it into something else, or cultivate a virtue to temper it. I can be an intense person myself, and I've been perceived as callous and hurtful. Cultivating patience, empathy, a "zen" attitude towards things, and similar traits helps balance the intensity.

Just practice Introspection and see for yourself what's in there. If you don't like it, either accept who you are or change. It's not complicated. Not always easy either, but it certainly isn't complicated.



~:Shin:~

[chris3]

I would recommend you put yourself in the other persons shoes. Try to understand his feeling and how you would have felt if you were him. Try to develop more empathy and compassion for others. That is if this is your desire. Then you can try to offer help to anyone you feel needs it. Do not do it for yourself it would be pointless if you did it for yourself. The most compassion is gained through offering of help to others without desiring anything in return. I hope this helps. [happy] [happy] [happy]

[E.]

You hit the nail on the head Shin. I've been so focused on removing undesirable characteristics that I've neglected cultivating desired ones or at least reinforcing them. This is something I will work with for balance. Thank you!

Desecrated: I can't say meditation isn't the cause because of it I have become my truest form. It is to blame in a positive perspective. From the negative perspective i can blame myself because it is who I am.

Chris3: thank you. Yes I do need more empathy but I do want to keep my other side. Balance is key.

I hope it works.

[Shinichi]

It is to blame in a positive perspective. From the negative perspective i can blame myself because it is who I am.

I would argue that you have that backwards. A "negative" person blames other people and things when something is wrong. A "positive" person takes responsibility for his own thoughts and actions.



~:Shin:~

[RoseRed]

At some point you lose the ability to deal with stupid bullshit.

Perhaps, you're growing into your role at work. Callous, cynical - yeah, it happens. But you noticed it so - kudos!

Cultivating the 'good' traits is a beautiful thing to do.

[E.]

At some point you lose the ability to deal with stupid bullshit.

Perhaps, you're growing into your role at work. Callous, cynical - yeah, it happens. But you noticed it so - kudos!

Cultivating the 'good' traits is a beautiful thing to do.

Well yes, I hate beating around the bush and I've seemed to address things that need to be addressed without taking into accord with how someone is feeling, after all its work and not an episode of Oprah.

The sad thing is that because of this issue I seem to have a blockage going on. I don't feel as in control as I normally do.
Just recently I did some spiritual work that caused me to spiral out of control to the weakened point of having an emotional outburst in an angry fashion every little while which is definitely not me.
This went on for a week after my spiritual working. I did EFT to help relieve me of the extremely strong intrusive thoughts which worked like a charm.

I feel as if I fell from glory and I want to get back to where I was spiritually.
Thank you all for your feedback and helping this fool back on solid ground.

E.

[RoseRed]

It's not easy to balance pragmatism with compassion.

Look to the things you love and bring you joy. The more simple it is - the better. A walk through the woods, sitting by a lake, taking a nap against a tree, snuggling an infant, a big fat steak - whatever.

We all fall from grace. Realizing that we fell is the first step to picking ourselves up. It can be especially painful when it's our self created pillars that come crashing down.

Big spiritual workings can leave people in an emotional tailspin. 2 weeks is about the norm for getting your shit back together - or at least realizing that you need to.

Do you mind my asking what this big working was?

[E.]

It's not easy to balance pragmatism with compassion.

Look to the things you love and bring you joy. The more simple it is - the better. A walk through the woods, sitting by a lake, taking a nap against a tree, snuggling an infant, a big fat steak - whatever.

We all fall from grace. Realizing that we fell is the first step to picking ourselves up. It can be especially painful when it's our self created pillars that come crashing down.

Big spiritual workings can leave people in an emotional tailspin. 2 weeks is about the norm for getting your shit back together - or at least realizing that you need to.

Do you mind my asking what this big working was?

I do like Bardon's discipline instructions because I personally follow them. I have followed them before reading his books but spiritually I don't follow any work.
Bardon does speak of keeping our work private because it diminishes personal power, I seem to be experiencing this but I usually keep things to myself until now ( confusing ).

To not be rude and answer your question, my work is creating, we are all creators.

Positive energy from me to you,
E.

[RoseRed]

I do like Bardon's discipline instructions because I personally follow them. I have followed them before reading his books but spiritually I don't follow any work.
Bardon does speak of keeping our work private because it diminishes personal power, I seem to be experiencing this but I usually keep things to myself until now ( confusing ).

To not be rude and answer your question, my work is creating, we are all creators.

Positive energy from me to you,

It sounds like you found something useful in his works. Cool. I haven't read them yet.

To dare, do, will, be Silent - it's a commonly found instruction. But sometimes, the information that you need to put it all together is what's found when you discuss it. I don't discuss these things, especially in depth, with many people. They don't have the foundation to understand the conversation. People have a habit of misjudging what they don't understand.

I created. Would you be offended if I called you 'dun, dun, dunnnnnnn... Capt. Vague!' Please don't be because I loved your answer! [rofl] [yay] [rofl] That was great! And everyone one of us here is entitled to our privacy. Some things are just personal.

And thank you [happyface]

[minervajane]

E., Sounds like the meditation has made you see things very clearly. You might try some metta (loving kindness) meditation to cultivate more compassion. It won't make you loose anything you have gained, it will only add to your practice. The difinative explanation is in the visuddhimagga but you can find simpler explanations elsewhere. It is one of my favorite meditations and makes you feel good about yourself as well as others...and gives you patience. It's on page 349 here: http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/auth ... on2011.pdf

Ajahn Brahm is the best teacher I've found on Youtube. I like Bardon's methods, and I think he got some of them from eastern thought, but this was one he left out:)

[E.]

I do like Bardon's discipline instructions because I personally follow them. I have followed them before reading his books but spiritually I don't follow any work.
Bardon does speak of keeping our work private because it diminishes personal power, I seem to be experiencing this but I usually keep things to myself until now ( confusing ).

To not be rude and answer your question, my work is creating, we are all creators.

Positive energy from me to you,

It sounds like you found something useful in his works. Cool. I haven't read them yet.

To dare, do, will, be Silent - it's a commonly found instruction. But sometimes, the information that you need to put it all together is what's found when you discuss it. I don't discuss these things, especially in depth, with many people. They don't have the foundation to understand the conversation. People have a habit of misjudging what they don't understand.

I created. Would you be offended if I called you 'dun, dun, dunnnnnnn... Capt. Vague!' Please don't be because I loved your answer! [rofl] [yay] [rofl] That was great! And everyone one of us here is entitled to our privacy. Some things are just personal.

And thank you [happyface]

Lol! I knew that would happen! No im not offended, I was going to posts a music video because when you said captain vague I mixed it up for the 90s song Mr. Vain so I didn't post it...wrong song lol.
Yes your right about learning more when we discuss things and I look forward to discussing alot more.

Sorry for the late reply, I don't get online on Saturdays. ( well after sundown I do )

Minervajane, thank you for taking the time to recommend the links you've posted. I'll take the time to check them out and I'll reply. Again thanks.

Good week everyone,
E.

[RoseRed]

Yeah, me too.

No worries. We all have personal lives off the box.