Original post: winged one
Hi all,
I desperately need your prayers and energy. I feel that for a long time I have been crawling in a desert, thirsty and almost dead. In June I asked my heart what it truely wanted. And it told me love. So I took a leap of faith and began to love. And I loved with my whole heart and held nothing back. This person had a good heart (something I could sense as much as see) but also a lot of sadness and hurt and problems that I didn't know about. Substance abuse was one of these things. Let's just say the end came as a complete suprise. And I am still left reeling and confused. To tell you the truth I don't compeletly understand it other than he didn't think he could be a good person. I have had much sadness in my life. But never the true sorrow that I've experienced in the last month. This true sorrow made possible ironically by how much I was capable of loving. This relationship was like an oasis in the desert. And then I woke up one day and it was gone. It wasn't like the disapeering of a mirage, it was real and then it...it was gone. So I guess what I'm asking is two fold. Please please, I desperately need your prayers. And I'm also asking if anyone knows any sources or has any tips on alternative treatments for substance abuse. I know that I need to leave him behind and move on, but I also have to be honest with myself and realize that my heart still loves him dearly, if from a distance. So hence the curiosity about substance abuse. All help is appreciated.
Kellye
substance abuse and heartbreak
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Original post: Ludi
You'll be in my thoughts Kellye. As far as substance abuse treatment, are you looking for spiritual methods, physical methods? Herbal? Diet? There are probably many avenues to explore.
You'll be in my thoughts Kellye. As far as substance abuse treatment, are you looking for spiritual methods, physical methods? Herbal? Diet? There are probably many avenues to explore.
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Original post: Rin Daemoko
Sending prayers in the wind ...
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Original post: winged one
Thank you. As for treatments or help with addiction I was leaning more towards the spiritual...or healing methods (such as Reiki etc) that others have found useful.
Thank you. As for treatments or help with addiction I was leaning more towards the spiritual...or healing methods (such as Reiki etc) that others have found useful.
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Original post: Horus
One thing to keep in mind is whether the substance abuse stems from the depression or whether the depression stems from the substance abuse. Once S.A. has gone on for a while it might be hard to tell, even for said person. But this will be key in treating it because to treat the abuse problem would likely result in relapse if the depression was the cause, and to treat the depression may not help the S.A. problem if S.A. was the cause of it. Also, and I don't mean to sound negative, but it may be that this person must do this themselves. We can't always help the state of other people no matter how bad it hurts, and there is no shame in that. If the other person is willing to let you then of course you should try, but it might be something that this person must work through for whatever reason.
One thing to keep in mind is whether the substance abuse stems from the depression or whether the depression stems from the substance abuse. Once S.A. has gone on for a while it might be hard to tell, even for said person. But this will be key in treating it because to treat the abuse problem would likely result in relapse if the depression was the cause, and to treat the depression may not help the S.A. problem if S.A. was the cause of it. Also, and I don't mean to sound negative, but it may be that this person must do this themselves. We can't always help the state of other people no matter how bad it hurts, and there is no shame in that. If the other person is willing to let you then of course you should try, but it might be something that this person must work through for whatever reason.
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Original post: winged one
This person and I are done as far as our relationship goes. It was pretty awful what he did to end it. I know that he has a lot of issues to work out and that ultimately he will have to do it on his own, and that he must make the decision whether or not he even wants to get past where he is. I agree that substance abuse probably is covering up all of the things he's never dealt with. I also know that there is a genetic tendancy in the family. I think at least the one thing I gifted him with was that I believed he was worth it to be healthy...that he was worth something. I sent him a letter a while back telling him I still believe this to be true. But if he should contact me or show up at my door there would definitely be some yelling. I had to be honest about what my heart felt and saw, but I will not stand to be treated badly. So....my interest in the treatment of substance abuse or anyone else's experience with getting through it has to do with curiosity. I don't have any intention in trying to use it with him. That is his own journey.
This person and I are done as far as our relationship goes. It was pretty awful what he did to end it. I know that he has a lot of issues to work out and that ultimately he will have to do it on his own, and that he must make the decision whether or not he even wants to get past where he is. I agree that substance abuse probably is covering up all of the things he's never dealt with. I also know that there is a genetic tendancy in the family. I think at least the one thing I gifted him with was that I believed he was worth it to be healthy...that he was worth something. I sent him a letter a while back telling him I still believe this to be true. But if he should contact me or show up at my door there would definitely be some yelling. I had to be honest about what my heart felt and saw, but I will not stand to be treated badly. So....my interest in the treatment of substance abuse or anyone else's experience with getting through it has to do with curiosity. I don't have any intention in trying to use it with him. That is his own journey.
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Original post: DualMetal
It is Winged One. No need to fill the crown, it's where she's at, be it solid ground-
But above the new, a new face may spark your day, so that's nothing new-
It must be one of those days, old black white blues, no the violins don't stay-
The enchanted is here, she should be running the run. But boy, i'm lending an ear-
----------------------
Hopefully, Winged One, better days are yet to come.
It is Winged One. No need to fill the crown, it's where she's at, be it solid ground-
But above the new, a new face may spark your day, so that's nothing new-
It must be one of those days, old black white blues, no the violins don't stay-
The enchanted is here, she should be running the run. But boy, i'm lending an ear-
----------------------
Hopefully, Winged One, better days are yet to come.
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Original post: EccentricSage
*ofers a hug* I don't have any sujestions, just my empathy. Just never let another's mistakes stop you from loving, and seaking love, even if you have to look elswhere. I think it's beautiful that you reached out to him one last time after he hurt you, such a jesture can make all the diference in a person's life. Hopefully he'll learn from that letter and from his own mistakes.
I know how much it sucks when someone you care about deaply just sudenly disreguards you. I don't know exactly what he did to you, but I know emotionaly what it does to you. But there are loyal, resonable people out there, too.
*ofers a hug* I don't have any sujestions, just my empathy. Just never let another's mistakes stop you from loving, and seaking love, even if you have to look elswhere. I think it's beautiful that you reached out to him one last time after he hurt you, such a jesture can make all the diference in a person's life. Hopefully he'll learn from that letter and from his own mistakes.
I know how much it sucks when someone you care about deaply just sudenly disreguards you. I don't know exactly what he did to you, but I know emotionaly what it does to you. But there are loyal, resonable people out there, too.
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Original post: hitman777
One of my best friends is a recovering heroin addict (clean for going on four years now.) It is definetly possible to kick a substance abuse problem, but an addict is NEVER "cured." Like alcoholics, they have to live with the fact that they will always be addicts, regardless of whether they ever use again.
As far as the impact of this person on your life, Winged One, if you are saying that you still care about this person, I really don't know what to say except that I hope everything works our for you. But you are right not to take his $h*t. Just stay strong and don't beat yourself for any times you percieve as being "weak moments" on your part. Stay resolute and don't accept this person back into your until said individual has gotten and stayed clean for at least a year with no relapses. If you bother with the situation at all.
Anyhow, good luck!
One of my best friends is a recovering heroin addict (clean for going on four years now.) It is definetly possible to kick a substance abuse problem, but an addict is NEVER "cured." Like alcoholics, they have to live with the fact that they will always be addicts, regardless of whether they ever use again.
As far as the impact of this person on your life, Winged One, if you are saying that you still care about this person, I really don't know what to say except that I hope everything works our for you. But you are right not to take his $h*t. Just stay strong and don't beat yourself for any times you percieve as being "weak moments" on your part. Stay resolute and don't accept this person back into your until said individual has gotten and stayed clean for at least a year with no relapses. If you bother with the situation at all.
Anyhow, good luck!
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Original post: winged one
Hey all, long time since I've been here. Thanks so much for the responses. I think for the most part I've kicked him out of my system and I'm sort of in that "I'm a woman hear me roar stage"...er or something like that. It really took till this last weekend to get rid of the rest of the emotional baggage about him and thank goodness it's mostly gone now. I'm ready to move on. I knew it was his loss to begin with...but now I'm in the .....what a frickin' idiot...it's his loss! place. Good for me. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. I do know that they have really helped. And don't worry hitman...if I happen to see the guy I'd be more likely to kick him than anything. He needs to grow up, be a man, and admit his addictions. I've spent way too much time healing and dealing with my own issues to have to deal with someone else's.
Watch out world I'm single. Hehehehehehe.
Hey all, long time since I've been here. Thanks so much for the responses. I think for the most part I've kicked him out of my system and I'm sort of in that "I'm a woman hear me roar stage"...er or something like that. It really took till this last weekend to get rid of the rest of the emotional baggage about him and thank goodness it's mostly gone now. I'm ready to move on. I knew it was his loss to begin with...but now I'm in the .....what a frickin' idiot...it's his loss! place. Good for me. Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. I do know that they have really helped. And don't worry hitman...if I happen to see the guy I'd be more likely to kick him than anything. He needs to grow up, be a man, and admit his addictions. I've spent way too much time healing and dealing with my own issues to have to deal with someone else's.
Watch out world I'm single. Hehehehehehe.
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Original post: DualMetal
[QUOTE=winged one]
Watch out world I'm single. Hehehehehehe.[/QUOTE]
Get yourself the best you can get.. From my advise, I like women that are honest and are capable to leave problems aside.
[QUOTE=winged one]
Watch out world I'm single. Hehehehehehe.[/QUOTE]
Get yourself the best you can get.. From my advise, I like women that are honest and are capable to leave problems aside.
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Original post: winged one
By the way DualMetal, what was the poem/ lyrics? from? Or did you write that. It's cool either way.
By the way DualMetal, what was the poem/ lyrics? from? Or did you write that. It's cool either way.
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Original post: Rakesh
Our prayers...unhappy forms of love tend to spread themselves like a disease.
A vampiric one, too.
Our prayers...unhappy forms of love tend to spread themselves like a disease.
A vampiric one, too.
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Original post: DualMetal
[QUOTE=winged one]By the way DualMetal, what was the poem/ lyrics? from? Or did you write that. It's cool either way.[/QUOTE]
There is something unique about my thoughts of life that seem to be apart from anything I have encountered.. I have developed who I am with being alone alot, yea. Times were sure to get rough with solitude but I was determined to be the best I can possibly become, and easing extremes of rebellion was my answer. Overall I'm working towards the greater mind, and rhime and verse is included.
[QUOTE=winged one]By the way DualMetal, what was the poem/ lyrics? from? Or did you write that. It's cool either way.[/QUOTE]
There is something unique about my thoughts of life that seem to be apart from anything I have encountered.. I have developed who I am with being alone alot, yea. Times were sure to get rough with solitude but I was determined to be the best I can possibly become, and easing extremes of rebellion was my answer. Overall I'm working towards the greater mind, and rhime and verse is included.
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Original post: Sud Ram
In total disagreement with hitman, I believe any addiction CAN be cured. I've seen it happen thanks to fasting, detoxing, diet change, spiritual practise etc. The whole holistic thing. It takes a lot of courage and quite some time but it is possible to be totally free of any addiction just like it is to be free of the ego.
It's a journey.
Peace.
In total disagreement with hitman, I believe any addiction CAN be cured. I've seen it happen thanks to fasting, detoxing, diet change, spiritual practise etc. The whole holistic thing. It takes a lot of courage and quite some time but it is possible to be totally free of any addiction just like it is to be free of the ego.
It's a journey.
Peace.
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Original post: winged one
I think Hitman meant in general. I do think it's possible to be "cured" but I think it's pretty rare. It takes a huge amount of time and some true inner self work. Plus you have the brain's memory of such things that need to be rerouted. I have yet to meet someone who was once an addict that is now cured. But then again..my experience with such things is limited.
As for being honest...lol... I've found that it scares other people a lot. And I'm just talking about living my life honestly...not walking around and telling other people my honest opinion of them.
But good things are a'happening here.
Just out of curiousity...why is it that soo many Pagans do various kinds of drugs? Any opinions on this? Do you think there is a higher percentage?
I think Hitman meant in general. I do think it's possible to be "cured" but I think it's pretty rare. It takes a huge amount of time and some true inner self work. Plus you have the brain's memory of such things that need to be rerouted. I have yet to meet someone who was once an addict that is now cured. But then again..my experience with such things is limited.
As for being honest...lol... I've found that it scares other people a lot. And I'm just talking about living my life honestly...not walking around and telling other people my honest opinion of them.
But good things are a'happening here.
Just out of curiousity...why is it that soo many Pagans do various kinds of drugs? Any opinions on this? Do you think there is a higher percentage?