How should I deal with this?

[Hummingbird]

I am female. A man who shares my interest in the magickal arts has also expressed strong romantic feelings for me. He is quite a bit older and far more experienced; regarded as a master and teacher. To be honest I find all of his power and knowledge quite intimidating when I am in his presence...he has that effect on many people.

He is not someone I would normally be attracted to. Simply put, he's just "not my type." Yet I feel a strange sort of attraction to him, in spite of my usual preferences, and perhaps against my better judgement.

I strongly feel that he is he utilizing magick to influence my feelings towards him. For example:

He managed to "steal" one of my favorite earrings (a white porcelain Fleur de Lis cross that he had often noticed and commented on). I thought I had simply lost the earring until he rather playfully told me later he had pilfered it. I asked him to return the earring. He winked and and said, "when I'm ready to let it go." (He did give it back a few months later.) To my surprise I soonafter started having recurring erotic dreams about him. Up until then, I had NEVER felt any physical attraction to him whatsoever. [eek]

After he had used this earring as an object link to forge a connection with me, I have not been able to entirely seal him out of my mind. There is always a coercive aspect to the dreams -- and the sex -- which does not set well with me. Naturally I do not like the idea of someone manipulating me into a relationship, astral or otherwise.

Let me be clear that I am NOT dating this man in real life. At this point the only romantic or sexual aspect of this has been in the astral, although he has made no secret of the fact he would like it to manifest IRL as well.

Anyone had this problem before, and which psychic self-defense methods worked best for you? I'd like to just have a dreamless, good night's sleep for a change! Do I even stand a chance of repelling his astral advances when he is an adept and I'm no match against that level of psychic strength and ability? How do I fight fire with fire?

If it helps to know, he is a devout Thelemite. I have some knowledge in that area but am not an expert by any means. Perhaps those more familiar with the Thelemic system can clue me in, or help point me in the right direction for further research on my own? Thanks.

[akimbomoss]

My inst-inct is telling me you should not fear him. If you had Psychic Shield by Caitlin Matthews then I would suggest the Knife of Separation ritual and then if you feel vulnerable put on Spiritual Armor. There are other rituals too like the aura cleansing ones. Also I would suspect trick-sterism. It could be he wants to teach you a friendly lesson and is willing to pay the consequences of his actions in a kind of masochistic way.

Just because somebody is more powerful than you doesn't mean they arf more powerful than you.

[akimbomoss]

OK the Great Spirit has told me not to be lazy so I will post the Knife of Separation ritual. You should read chapter 6 in that book it deals with these Uni-vighted Guests. [rofl] Don't forget to get your laugh on. You would be amazing how good laughing banishes bad thoughts.

Knife of Separation Ritual (abridged version by me):

Get one of your servitors to go with you to the special recharging building (temple of life, etc). They will pick up an astral knife and use it to cut the bond between you and this bad wizard. Afterwards you must ask one of your servitors to weave and seal the hole that is left in your aura due to this nonsense. Maybe you have a friendly spider of taylor? Use your imagination!

[hobotubbie]

I don't really understand what people consider to be powerful but, a wise old man that is in need to steal a personal object from someone to influence her and gives it back several months ago is not my idea of it.
If your not attracted by him let it go and move on with your life, and in my opinion never put yourself in a position where you feel that person is so much powerful than you else you will be at his mercy.
I don't mean be cocky but have confidence in yourself and you abilities.
Other than that i think the other person advices regarding ritualistic solutions are pretty solid.

[antsubut]

I will be a bit harsh here. In as much as you feel intimidated by this man, there is nothing that will work for you. I don't think i belong anywhere but i tend to dabble in psychicisn and chaos. I don't have any definite ritual to give you because i consider most of the rituals as waste of time.
You have to start with yourself- change your attitude, then move on to whatever you think is best for the situation.

[reptilian]

Frankly, if someone is being a creepy jerk like that, I would first cut off association with him. Don't see him or speak to him. Avoid physical encounters, do not read or listen to messages that he sends you. If he's willing to send you coercive sex dreams, he may be willing to coerce you into sex, so I would consider getting away from him to be priority number one.

If it doesn't stop after that, try magic. Haunt his dreams with nightmares, or haunt his apartment with servitors. But I think by not seeing him, and maybe getting rid of the earrings, this should stop.

[reptilian]

There are two reasons why it is important to avoid him: firstly, for your safety and sense of well being. Secondly, because if you do not, he may take that as a sign that you are coming around to seeing things his way and he may think that he can initiate further advances.

[Hummingbird]

Thanks to everyone who took time to respond to my query and offer advice/suggestions. A strong separation and/or banishing ritual is indeed what I'm looking to perform, and also need to cleanse my aura of him entirely. How to do it is the problem.

Although it will be hard to part with these earrings (they are my favorite pair, and one of a kind so I can't just go out and buy another), I think you are right that I should get rid of them. Any ideas on the best way to dispose of them properly so that none of this unwanted energy can return to me?

I agree that his behaviour is troubling because of the element of force involved. It seems he is trying to interfere with my own will, and I've always read that this goes against the most basic law of Thelema: do what thou wilt, but never restrict another's free will. As this man is a high initiate of the O.T.O. his apparent lack of respect for my own choices/will does not entirely compute.

I suppose it could be argued that he's not forcing his will upon me, but rather just "planting a seed and letting it grow" in my psyche. But if he's not someone I would ever feel a natural attraction towards anyway, isn't he wasting his time and effort planting this seed? And since I've shown him no reciprocal interest, isn't what he's doing by persisting in fact "forcing" the issue?

Another difficulty I am having is cutting off all contact with him. To be honest, I'm a little bit afraid to because I don't know how he will react. Instead, I've felt it better to be polite but non-committal; to keep him at arm's length and always find excuses to be busy. My work requires frequent travel, and sometimes I am gone for several weeks. However, when I am away I've noticed that the astral invasions get worse, not better. Although we do not talk, text, or email at all when I'm traveling, he uses the astral visitations, dreams and other unseen methods of communication to "keep in touch" and let me know he's still around. It's maddening. Feels like I can't escape him. I honestly don't think it would make any difference if I moved 1000 miles away or across the ocean. If he wants to visit me astrally, he will.

The poster who said that such a powerful wizard would hardly need to steal an earring as an object link to his target makes an excellent point. I assume this psychic exercise is mere child's play to him. Easy as pie. He's probably only "having a bit of fun" with me, but I'm the one who is not amused! And yes, I am afraid of him because if this is his idea of fun, what the hell else is he capable of? Especially if I rejected or otherwise displeased him? He has a dark side that I don't want to meet first-hand, certainly not in the astral.

[reptilian]

While I understand the idea of not wishing to anger him, and I'm surprised but sympathetic that he is visiting you across long distances, I feel that you would be surprised how much the situation could change if you say to him "Look, either stop bothering me, or I won't have anything to do with you. If you can be friendly without forcing yourself on me, we can associate, but there is no hope of having a romantic relationship. If you can't understand and respect that, there will be consequences."

He may be powerful, but he can still be intimidated, and punished, if necessary. It is not unreasonable to be concerned for your safety, but you may be surprised by your own power, and fearing him only increases his.

As far as the earrings, if you can give them up, there are many cleansing rituals available. I use salt water and bay leaves for cleansing (creating a tonic, sprinkling it on the object, speaking the appropriate incantation), personally, though I know that sage is highly lauded for that purpose as well.

Also, if he's OTO, could you possibly communicate your problem to a superior in the order? If he is guilty of misconduct, would they not expel him, or at least embarrass him? They may also have unique insight into methods of protecting yourself.

I'll also look into hoodoo a bit for you, because I believe there are a few talismans to combat this exact type of behavior.

It's a bit of synchronicity for this to come up right now because I decided to give up a nightmare-sending campaign recently, and so this strikes a special chord for me. I would like to see you resolve this problem and am very willing to help however I can.

[Hummingbird]

I thought about discussing this with a superior in the order, but two major issues arise with that. 1) he is part of the inner circle and 2)the lodge relies heavily on his financial support. So I don't know how willing they would be to expel him. If he goes, so goes a huge chunk of the order's annual budget! They might be willing to overlook some psychic misconduct on his part in order to keep his patronage.

Reptilian, I think you may be on to a pretty good approach...if I am looking to fight fire with fire, why don't I give him a taste of his own medicine? Not that I would send him dreams of a sexual nature (that would only encourage him), but rather something along the lines of a nightmare scenario that would help him realize that I'm not the right woman for him. Perhaps I could conjure something dreadful, such as an astral image of myself as horribly ugly naked, or being an intolerable nag...haha [lol] ....so that he would quickly lose interest in me and move on?

I don't know....just kicking ideas around. But after reading your other posts about behaviour modification through the sending of nightmares, I think such an approach just might be effective in my own case. I'm intrigued by the possibility, anyway. Would it not be possible to modify his dream-sending behaviours to me by sending some dreams he won't enjoy right back at him?

I'm not very skilled at the practice of dream-sending...will need some guidance on how to accomplish this. Since this sounds like an area of expertise for you, can you help? Feel free to PM me if you'd rather discuss this privately. I would be most grateful for your assistance in getting this astral monkey off my back.

[Nahemah]

He may be powerful, but he can still be intimidated, and punished, if necessary. It is not unreasonable to be concerned for your safety, but you may be surprised by your own power, and fearing him only increases his.

As far as the earrings, if you can give them up, there are many cleansing rituals available. I use salt water and bay leaves for cleansing (creating a tonic, sprinkling it on the object, speaking the appropriate incantation), personally, though I know that sage is highly lauded for that purpose as well.

I use bay leaves a lot too,sage advice Reptilian,lol [sorry bad pun time].

I think Reptilian's advice is very wise,in this situation.Guy sounds like a real creep.Some folk just like to impose themselves,purely because they can,a little power goes to their heads.

To protect your astral space ,stinging nettles are excellent.Burning dried nettles around your sleeping area can be very useful.Rue added to them,can give extra kick if needed too.[I steal the Rue,it works better if it's pilfered,as that is traditional,lol]

I realise that might not be possible when travelling,but you can hang a 'mojo bag',above the bed,instead.

There is an iherent undercurrent of creepiness in this.I 'm no one's moral arbiter,but the element of coercion you describe is uncomfortable,when I read about it.

Reinforce your will not to be with him,often.Mantras are good,speak one often,I dunno may be like ....: I do not and will not want you ,I will not be yours,I will be free to do as I will,my will is mine alone.

I 'm being very literal with the word will,but it is the most important Thelemic concept,isn't it."Love is the law,love under will."
Reinforce yours as often as you can by all the means you have.Remind yourself often, that your will alone,is the most powerful influence over you.

[Madavascus]

Dear Hummingbird,

I humbly recommend that you invoke the aid of a divinity of protection and vindication (such as, for example, the beautiful grey-eyed Athena) in your present work, and placing your faith in the guiding powers of the divine, visualize your intention with a concise formulation of will. What is required is that you feel absolutely convinced that you are protected of this man's base sorcery and that you have become unattainable for him. Everything that has been previously said is valid, and to obtain your goal a variety of magical means are available to you. Best of luck.

[reptilian]

Well, if you feel like it, the nightmares could be very useful, but for protecting yourself, Nahemah and Ssormany both had great suggestions.
It hadn't occurred to me but Athena would be a great entity to invoke, and a mojo bag was exactly what I had in mind. Nettle and rue sounds like a very good combination, and I'll look into my sources to see if there are other ingredients or mojos for the purpose.

[Hummingbird]

Excellent suggestions, all. Bay leaves, sage, nettle and some preferably pilfered rue. Check. Sounds like i need to get busy on purification, cleansing and protection work for a start.

While i doubt this will have any effect on his continued psychic attacks, it will have a positive effect on me, and how I react to these attacks when they happen. That's all good.

My ultimate will, or goal, with this is to cause him to lose interest and stop invading my astral space voluntarily. It would be best if he thinks it's his idea, lol. So that's why I do think some targeted nightmares sent his way just might do the trick.

I've never sent dreams to another person...is this something I should attempt on my own? Any cautions?

[reptilian]

Well, in my experience, sending dreams works best when you have a good understanding of dreaming. I wasn't very successful at dream magic until I studied the nature of my dreams for many years by recording them and practicing lucid dreaming. Eventually, I started to get a sense of "what dreams are made of" and I was able to construct them, and send them to others.
However, I don't think this is necessary, just how I came to be where I am.

In the interest of time, you could instead choose to invoke Morpheus before/while creating a spell to send a particular dream, and that would likely give you a powerful boost. You could also make a talisman/mojo, a la hoodoo, and gift it to him, or hide it in or near his home, like he did to you.

I'll have to think about it, because I haven't practiced any method aside from my dreamwalking, and mojos.

[Hummingbird]

Reptilian, I realize my previous post might have given the impression that I'm not familiar with dreamwork. Actually I'm quite skilled at lucid dreaming and have kept dream journals for more than 20 years now. Had more than my share of prophetic dreams and also use dreams as a tool for divination. I'm good at receiving dreams and thought forms sent to me because I'm an empath and medium. Perhaps my channel was a a little *too* open this time, and that's how my unwanted visitor slipped in. Surely he sensed that about me before he began any magickal/astral work...he first had to have some assurance that I would be able to receive the dream's message.

But for all my experience as a "receiver" of dreams, I've never "sent" a dream to anybody. That's where i get stuck. I have no particular experience or knowledge in that realm I can call upon; totally new to it. Your suggestion of invoking Morpheus is certainly good advice!!

Planting or gifting a mojo may not be an option in this case, as I am traveling and will be hundreds of miles from home until mid-Oct. Hoping to nip this problem in the bud well before then.

[Hummingbird]

UPDATE: Well this week the dreams have been more frequent and more powerful, this is driving me nuts. After several fitful nights in a row, I finally just flat-out confronted him in an email and asked if he was in fact sending these dreams.

He did not answer me with words. His reply email contained not a single word to me. Just a link to a Youtube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_X08RBcC ... re=related

guess I got my answer. He seems to be having a jolly time playing games with my psyche. Like this is a joke???? Hell, I'm the one who is tortured and sleep-deprived...so I'm REALLY mad now.

Am going to throw a spell right back at him. Planning to do it in the next couple of days while I'm still pissed. Want to channel all that energy into it to intensify the effect. [twisted]

Any reason why I shouldn't do it now and strike while the iron is hot?

[Madavascus]

Dear Hummingbird, I agree with your line of thought, and think it would be wise to strike now. This man's behavior has been unacceptable. However perhaps he's thinking of letting go of you... that Led Zeppelin video kind of makes me think he wants to leave you alone (of course I haven't listened to all the lyrics). Also, if you two belong to a magical order with ethical guidelines, there is ample ground for the authorities to expel him.

[Nahemah]

Freeze spell?
An oldie and a classic,but a goodie nonetheless.

I 'd also cut all contact,drop him from lists,stop thinking about him,never mention his name out loud.Cut all access lines and ignore with ice round the edges.Radio silence.

No matter how difficult it is to begin with,it starts being effecctive if you throw your full will at it.

I think responding,keeps you tied in and in this instance,would prolly benefit him more or make him interested in keeping playing.

I agree with Ssormany,that song comes across like a truce.

I 'd help him along with that and make it a big effort for him to reach you,by any means.He may get tired of constant effort,sometimes it helps to be quietly resistant and if he has no spikes of energy to work on,it may get boring,especially if there are new and interesting distractions for him where he is: that might be another angle you could exploit too. [thumbup]

[Hummingbird]

Hey all -- just wanted to come back and post an update.

My 3 prong battle plan was:
1) cut all physical means of contact
2) take steps to protect myself psychically
3) repel his astral advances through a series of sent nightmares and spells designed to make him lose interest

Been doing this program every day since Sept. 25 and so far it seems to be working. My sleep has not been troubled by any dreams of him in weeks, and man it feels great!

Only worry I have now is that I'm finally back home again after several weeks of travel and will likely be bumping into him often; we have a lot of friends in common and run in the same social circle. I'd rather not be anywhere near him or have to interact with his energy while this magickal work is still actively in progress. Trying my best to avoid any place where we might meet, but that's really not an option. Sooner or later our paths will cross.

I've no idea what kind of reception I'll get from him but imagine it will be quite cold. Any advice on how to handle him face-to-face now that I've rather rudely rebuffed him? If he's planning any sort of counter-attack, he should not have the opportunity to look into my eyes and pierce my aura...or get close enough to snag a few strands of my hair (or another earring, heaven forbid). If he makes it that far, I fear all my good work will be undone and he'll be back in my psyche again with a vengeance.

[reptilian]

I find it odd that you would wish to avoid eye contact because it is very important to me to always look my enemy in the eye, to make sure that it is known that a challenge to my will shall be punished, as well as to steel myself against doubt or fear. Basic animal social skill, that.

Aside from that, if he approaches you or someone near you, leave or move away. Maybe carry a nasty mojo or create an auric shield that will be painful to interact with (think jellyfish or stinging nettle, maybe?). It may not permanently sway him but it will cause him to step back.

Are there any large feline or large predator deities you could invoke? Artemis, Bast? I don't know many but I feel like the sense of confidence and power exuded by a predator would be a great option, as well.

[Hummingbird]

Dammit! I just typed a lengthy, thoughtful reply and when I hit the "preview" button, all I got was a blank form. My carefully-crafted text just went POOF!

Perhaps I made the mistake of disclosing TMI about my methods used and some other things best kept silent. [shh]

I think the universal editor just corrected me, lol.

[yyxx]

1) cut all physical means of contact
2) take steps to protect myself psychically
3) repel his astral advances through a series of sent nightmares and spells designed to make him lose interest

Sounds like a very good plan.

The people on this forum are really helpful. I'd be surprised to learn that some of you are human.

A friend was sending me some yucky energy after we had a fight the other day and I was too tired to stand it so I gathered some of my uggliest beasties and sent him a nice "FUCK YOU! YOU WILL REGRET IT IF YOU CONTINUE. LOOK AT MY FILTH!!!!!" It seemed to do the trick quite nicely. Haven't heard from him since.

I think it can be very useful to draw on the most dark and disgusting parts of yourself if you are trying to repel an attack. Just be sure your minions know who is in charge.

[akimbomoss]

Perhaps I made the mistake of disclosing TMI about my methods used and some other things best kept silent. [shh]

I think the universal editor just corrected me, lol.

You would not believe how often this happens. It's you spirits protecting you. Once my allies cut the power to an uninterruptible power supply to stop me from this business. The lights went dim and the phone went dead. [mad] [rofl] [eg] [thumbup] [clown]

[Hummingbird]

Hahaha, so true. Can't even recall how many times an unexpected power outage has stopped me from typing something I shouldn't have said! [blush]

I say "unexpected," and it was. However, every time it happened I KNEW why it happened!