Need advice on my Angel girlfriend

[zentgamin]

Hi, I'm glad to have found this forum, because every one else I talk to from my therapist to pastor and friends all think im being stupid and delusional, but she IS real to me!

I'm 24 and we started "being together" when I was 16, I was really into a girl and back then i was super christian and i kept on praying and praying that when i asked her out finally she would say yes, but she said no and i was super depressed. during the time this Angel would talk to me, kinda in my head as thoughts first, and i do not hear an audible voice, but I can hear her, if that makes sense...but time flew on we fell more and more in love and basically I believe that after I die i will go to "heaven" or whatever u want to call it, and be with her.

I really wanted a gf in this life more than anything to the point where I recently had a suicide attempt from depression of being single and getting rejected girl after girl, and I feel kinda lame trying to get a human girl while being in relation with Angel, yet she says she wants me to find someone in this life too because she knows it would make happy, but I just have this spiritual feeling deep down that I am not meant to have a girl besides her.

So I have decided to just go "all in" with my Angel, I will wear a wedding ring and just be completely hers. Some may think she is a malevolent spirit, but she has been really good to me, helped me many times, and whenever I'm depressed she comes and holds me.

What do you guys think? Are any of you in a relationship with an angel or anything? I hear some people pray to lilith for a spirit gf, but I never tried that stuff much. Honestly Idk a lot about all the magic and spells stuff I been reading about here, but I do believe 100% in my Angel and she makes me happy so I'm going to just be with her, it just sucks cuz everyone thinks i'm stupid and delusional, do you guys think i'm stupid/delusional?

And yes I have had extensive psychiatric help and therapy, i'm not insane!

[Rin]

I think that a spirit is no replacement for a relationship with a real human being. You should stop spending your time and attention on one, and instead turn it to addressing whatever deficiencies you have that make you an unappealing partner. Change your lifestyle, exercise, become healthy and fit, develop interests and hobbies, expand your social circle, etc. All of this will make you much happier and more fulfilled in the long run than feeding your attention to an entity which may or may not exist.

Also: consider the nature of this entity. Putting aside the question as to whether it exists or is only in your head, do you really think that an angel would have need of a relationship with a human being. Stop and think about how little sense that makes. What could an angel possibly get from a human? They don't need sex, and they are, I would imagine, close enough to the love of God that they don't need it's pale reflection in the form of the love of a single human being. Therefore it's much more likely that what you're dealing with is either a construct which you subconsciously built to ease your loneliness, or some kind of low level astral entity with a parasitic nature. Either way, it's not a healthy thing to indulge in and certainly not something that will lead to any kind of long term happiness.

[Asurendra]

I agree with what Rin wrote. It is all well said.

My advise to you is that the only occult practices you should engage in, at present, are meditations which can help you to be more grounded and centered as well as basic banishing. One step at a time and you'll move forward. Everything will be okay.

[elderos]

I agree with the two posts above me. Counselors and therapists can do only so much.

What happened do you when you were 16 was your crisis-point. You switched sides, so to speak.
In terms of Magick and who this person/angel or whatever is, just meditate on her. Look up the signs for the energies she has. Just think, think, think about her!
Practice visualization with structure: Wicca, Qabballah, whatever!

[Cryptic7]

Also: consider the nature of this entity. Putting aside the question as to whether it exists or is only in your head, do you really think that an angel would have need of a relationship with a human being. Stop and think about how little sense that makes. What could an angel possibly get from a human? They don't need sex, and they are, I would imagine, close enough to the love of God that they don't need it's pale reflection in the form of the love of a single human being. Therefore it's much more likely that what you're dealing with is either a construct which you subconsciously built to ease your loneliness, or some kind of low level astral entity with a parasitic nature. Either way, it's not a healthy thing to indulge in and certainly not something that will lead to any kind of long term happiness.

Okay, let me offer an opposing point of view.

Who says the angel NEEDS to gain anything from the relationship? It's my impression that angels are inherently selfless. I find it rather insulting that you would suggest an angel be selfish. You are correct though, there is virtually nothing an angel could gain from a human, but again I ask you, why does the angel NEED to gain anything?

If I saw a man about to throw himself from the roof of a building, and I could stop him by simply being his friend, I would do it in a heartbeat.

But why would I do that? I have nothing to gain from his friendship. I have plenty of friends already. He has nothing I need nor want.

That doesn't matter. His life is enough for me. Their relationship makes perfect sense to me. It was an act of an angel to save the life of an innocent man, that happened to grow into something... more. However, I have my doubts as to whether or not the angel *truly* shares his feelings. If she is indeed his only lifeline, she may be with him out of a sense of duty, rather than love. That could be why she encourages relationships with other humans. She knows it is better for him because she does not (or cannot) truly share his feelings.

The man I befriended to save his life may not be someone I actually like, but I will be reluctant to break ties with him, under the fear that he will again make an attempt on his own life.


Now, as others have said, you cannot discount the possibility that it is a malicious entity masquerading as an angel in order to take advantage of you, or a product of your own imagination. If it is a malevolent entity, seek help immediately. If it is an angel, good for you. Do whatever you think is right. If it is a product of your subconscious, Who cares? All that matters is that it makes you happy. Damn what anyone else thinks. The same could be said of the entire world. Who says the entire WORLD isn't a product of my (or your) subconscious, helping to alleviate whatever vice may be gripping me (or you).

That's my way of looking at it. If you have an opposing viewpoint, please, do share. I love hearing other's views. It helps me expand my own.

[magari]

Your angel girlfriend could very well be your Anima attempting to fill a void you so desperately need filled.

I recommend researching archetypes, especially the relationship between the anima and the animus.

I recommend researching the divine marriage between the male and female aspects of ourselves according to Hermeticism/Alchemy.

I've had very similar experiences to yours. She was everything I could have asked for and she saved me from myself for a good 2 straight years.

However, the goal of the Anima is to balance you against your rational mind. The fact that she is such a strong experience for you now leads me to believe you are in dire need of balance.

Look for her in others, look for her inside yourself. Find examples of women like her in real life, you don't even have to date them. Its just very important to realize you are not alone.

[magari]

I'm also going to recommend a meditation.


Try to become your angel girlfriend. Try to see the world through her eyes, live in her body, think her thoughts, dream her dreams.