Oath // The Arrogant Wish

[borealis]

I thought this song I wrote recently might sound come off pretentious or something and almost didn't post it. Here goes.

"Oath // The Arrogant Wish, a Folk Emo Ballad"

## Start with Acoustic Instruments ##

# Start on Fast Time Scale A #

{melody 0}
Sometimes I catch myself dwelling
On the worst I've ever felt,
When I idolized tragic heroes
'Cause I didn't love myself,
But my heart and soul were burning
With die Liebe dieser Welt. (the love of this world)

{melody 0.5}
So I grasped and I prayed and I
Lost and I paid and I
Tried to escape but there was nowhere to go.
But now I know.
Now I know.

# Lead into Slow Time Scale #

{melody 1}
Well I used to feel worthless but didn't quite notice.
I chased gaudy pleasures and lived for the bottle.
And the people around me felt trapped by my energy.
I wore a kind face but my insides were hollow.

{melody 1}
And it pains me to think of the person I was:
Some foolhardy jerk with contempt for tomorrows,
And delusions of shouldering the whole fucking world,
When I couldn't even shoulder my special girl's sorrows.

# Lead into Fast Time Scale B #

{melody 2}
And so I made an arrogant wish,
I took an oath, I made a promise,
That if I could just understand,
Then I would solve the world's problems.
And I knew that it would hurt me,
But I thought that I was strong,
So I closed my eyes and sang this little song:

# Immediate Shift into Slow Time Scale #

{melody 1.5}
"I just wanna live in the weak and the wounded,
But I don’t know how ‘cause I’ve never been broken.
If it means I can save you then break me wide open!"

# Begin Shifting Here into Fast Time Scale B #

## Enter Electric Instruments ##

(spoken at distance)
(insert mirthless laughter); Be careful what you wish for.

(screamed at distance)
THE PRICE WAS TOO FUCKING HIGH!

# Finish Shifting into Fast Time Scale B #

{melody 3}
(sung at distance)
Fantasies of adequacy
Can't shelter you anymore!

# Immediate Shift into Slow Time Scale #

{melody 4}
Boom, done, away with my gun.
While I visited friends she decided to run
For the last time, and it broke me to pieces,
And OH MY GOD THERE WAS SO MUCH FUCKING BLOOD!

FUCK!

# Lead into Fast Time Scale B #

{melody 2}
And so I chased the path of service,
But never serviced my own home.
And the irony of my loss
Isn't even funny as a joke.
But a promise is a promise,
So I'll do the best I can
To move this fucked up world with my own hands.

# Lead into Slow Time Scale #

## Exit Electric Instruments ##

{melody 1.5}
So I've done my damn best with my battered heart bursting.
I've rested the weary and watered the thirsty.
And I'm who I am now 'cause I know about hurting!

{melody 5}
But can I save anyone?
Have I really helped anyone?
Is the stuff I've tried working?

{{Reprise Melody 0.5 in Guitar or Piano}}

...
Now I know.
Now I know.

(below stanza is spoken poetry)
And bereft of regret,
My unpayable debt
That I wished on myself
Lights the glittering road
Of uncarven sharp stones
Laid outward in front of me,
Forever and ever,
So be it, Amen.

[Cerber]

It's good, I wouldn't mind hearing it recorded by somebody who can sing and play some instruments.