I'm going to tell you a little story of my experience with something that may sounds crazy.
It began when I started looking for something to believe in. I was once a christian but came to realization later on that the religion wasn't making much sense and that worshiping God was just begging for forgiveness or demanding your desires to come true through prayers.
After quitting Christianity I began to look for something else which happened to be Paganism and Wicca. However, these religions were the same a Christianity, just with different deities and rituals, always relying on a higher power.
I then found interested in Taoism, and later Internal Alchemy.
Through Internal Alchemy, I started to think that it was like those Xianxia but with less CGI and with more science behind it. Too my disappointment, however, it was just basic exercises and psychological therapy.
But something was bothering me about it.
It was the details of meridians and the systematical pointers that kept nagging me. While meditating, I always sat cross-legged on the floor on a mat till my back started to hurt, so I tried to lay down on my back when that happened. I sat up and I laid down, over and over again till I got bored and that is where it hit me!
A buzzing feeling, coming from my third eye point and the sphenoid bones! At first I thought it was because of breathing in too much oxygen and sitting up to fast or something similar, however, what if it wasn't.
Trying to do it without going up and down was really hard, since I had no clue of what I was doing, so I gave up.
Until.
One morning, while I was half asleep, laying in bed, I felt a hand on the back of my head. By waking up a bit more I realized that it was my own hand and began to scratch the back of my head while laying comfortable in a fetal position (I don't sleep on my back since it makes me snore
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).Sounds normal, until I woke fully up and realized that both my arms was under the blanket! I could still feel it as the feeling of scratching my head started fading.
Later that day, I thought about what could have allowed my brain to trick me and my senses like that.
It was a sense. A "sense of feeling (something)".
If I could use that "sense of feeling" to concentrate on the third eye point and the sphenoid bones while meditating what would happen? So I did that and to my surprise that buzzy feeling started to generate on those points. It felt like static electricity under my skin. Energy.
Could the "sense of feeling" be the real "Wu wei"? By doing something without doing anything, to move without movements?
I tried to concentrate on different places on the face and found that some spot was easier to focus on than others. It took me 3 months of practise to be able to concentrate from one point to another with ease, and that is where something changed. The points started to form connections. It felt like how constellations have line connections from star to star.
What freaks me out is that these points and connections are following the chart of meridians.
I then spent 3 more months to connect every point in to front and back of my head and neck, and now I'm trying to form my first cinnabar field, the Shen cinnabar field.
I hope I have finally found something real and not something that require me to believe in something or worship a deity..
-Sleepy Bluejay
![[crazy]](./images/smilies/014-crazy.gif "Crazy"){kind=small}